Boss wouldn't let my mum go to gym

[EmsHugs]

So my sister is a live in nanny to a very wealthy family. She has done this for over a year and loves it. The family treat her well, pay her well and she has her own 2 bed cottage on their estate. My mum went to stay with my sister this week and the shit hit the fan over my sister's boss not letting my mum use her gym and pool on Mother's day. My sister and I both think my mum is being utterly unreasonable in her reaction but would love to know others thoughts.

Background. My sister works in a very rural area. Her employers are more than happy for her to have people to stay with her but just ask that she lets them know in advance. My sister stays here rent and bill free as part of her package. Being Mother's day weekend, she had the weekend off and my mum chose to go visit. It is a very rural location so my sister's boss asked what food she would like for her and my mum (a weekly food order also paid for by employer). She also gave my sister a bottle of champagne to enjoy with my mum. Essentially my sister's boss also paid for mum's food for weekend. Anyway while my sister is free to wander around the private gardens, gym, swimming pool etc and use as she wants on her time off, Her boss has said when she has guests to stay she prefers to agree a time for my sister and her guest to use the gym/pool for both her privacy and my sister and guest. This seems to have been fine and the arrangement worked on the Saturday but on the Sunday my sister's boss asked my sister not to use either the gym or pool, sauna and to not come across to the house as she wanted the place to her and the family. My sister was fine with this but my mum seems to have hit the roof, as she was looking forward to a swim and sauna. She apparently kept badgering my sister to text her boss to arrange a time as she didn't think she would be using it all day and it was unfair to change the agreed plan last minute. When my sister refused she threw a strop. Her boss later text her and said that she was sorry she couldn't accommodate my mum but her own parents were visiting and she wanted it to be free all day because she didn't know when her mum and dad would be using it. It turns out my mum had just gone straight to the house and asked. My sister had a go at my mum, as she said her emplyer was already being nice letting her nad mum use her facilities but mum did not see it that way in the slightest. My mum is now telling my sister she is a mug and is being really horrible about the family she works for and that my sister is pathetic for being such a walkover and letting another adult dictate her life.
She phoned me thinking I would take her side but personally I feel my sister's boss is very generous to my sister and was very accommodating to my sister's guest.

Would be curious to know what others think.

Your mum is an entitled twat and your sister needs to make sure she never invites her there again, else she could potentially lose her amazing job over her mums spoilt attitude.

It's so funny to imagine the mother coming up to the big house to demand when she can have access to the pool and gym! This woman is an absolute scream (as long as you're not her daughter).

Is your sister's boss going to pop over to your mum's next weekend and demand to use her bathroom and then raid her fridge for dinner? I reckon s/he should.

Your mum certainly has some gall

Your poor sister! Your DM does realise the 'big house' is a private home, not a hotel, right?

How embarrassing for your poor sister. Especially after the generous and considerate attitude from her employer - they sound awesome!

Boss is lovely. The locations were made up to resemble a ski resort and beach place. I'm not as stupid as my mother, so all those getting their knockers in a twist about privacy can sleep tight.

I’d be telling mum that’s the last visit you put my job at risk

Employer sounds amazing. I do hope your mother’s insanely cheeky and unreasonable behaviour doesn’t affect your sister’s job. If I was your sister I would never invite mum to stay again. Would not be surprised if employer (nicely) suggested she never return…

If your sisters boss actually read this she would probably be really proud of herself and how she handled the situation along with empathy for how you have expressed your sisters upset. I am glad you have your sisters back. Stick together. I hope in time you can both laugh at it however mortifying it is for now.

Cheeky and entitled mother!!!!

I grew up in a workless household. Both parents regularly rantec on about oppressed workers, even though the last time that any of them did any work was at the time of the first moon landing. It was okay for their friends' children to go to uni, but I was called a snob for going, even though it didn't cost them a penny. It got to the stage that I just permanently wrote them off and got on with my own life.

It’s 100% your mum being unreasonable

I think your mum was miffed her all inclusive spa weekend was disrupted. Which would be fine, if she had paid for it! I would be so upset with her going and speaking to my boss in her own home as if she was the hotel manager!

Your poor sister!
Your mother is completely out of order - what is she thinking? Is she trying to sabotage your sister's job with her good employer?!
I hope mother won't be invited back there for ever, or at least until she realises how idiotic and embarrassing she's been.

I would be apologing to my boss and not inviting my mum again

Oh my god, how mortifying for your poor sister!

Wow that's going to be very awkward for your sister now 🤦🏽‍♀️ It sounds like she's VERY well taken care of by her employer - a salary, free accomodation, a free grocery order each week and free use of their luxury facilities?!?!
I wonder what these people do for work!

People seem to underestimate how many rich people are out there.

I've worked for such people before.

Imagine Bernidorm in the height of summer holidays, that's how packed the private islands and villas are by the rich, except with more space of course.
All with nannies in tow, some with cooks and buttlers too.

A lot of wealth in rural areas also with multi destinations the norm. Literally could be anyone from those circles.

As an aside OP, is the free cottage based on her getting less pay or an extra?

I know sometimes what looks like a good deal may actually not be.

The rich are usually shrewd but hope your DS employers are genuinely lovely people.

Managers are replacable too as much as you can get an irreplaceable housekeeper/groundsman.

I know one who was let go as he's been fiddling the Estate affairs for years.
Trusted and very close to the family.

Trust is placed in people, not their job description.

OP have you shown your Mum the results of this post, if not, perhaps you should! What awful behaviour! I actually feel sorry for you and your sister, as if you ever go out together with your Mum, you must feel like you're walking on eggshells wondering just when she's going to embarrass the hell out of you again.

I’m really sorry as it’s your mum but she had no right to do this. If I was the employers I’d want to ban her off my property.

Wow. I would not ever invite mum to stay again. It's your sister's work place. It's also a family's home and private domestic space. It's all been working perfectly well, with everyone respecting everyone's space, and everyone enjoying all the amenitites, until mum turned up and thought the world should revolve around her. If your sister is happy there - she really should not invite mum to stay again. Because it will end up costing her, her job.

OMGosh! Your poor DSis - mortifying.

Your DM is a CF. It's not a fkin resort! It's someone's home!

Hope she hasn't ruined it for your sister and other visitors. I would never invite my mum again. Ever.

I'm cringing for your sister!

Sorry but your mother is behaving like a spoilt child. I hope your sister's job isn't put in jeopardy because of your mother's entitled behaviour.

Your sister and her boss seem very reasonable and nice.

Your mother, OTOH, has acted like a twat waffle and an entitled CFer. She WAY overstepped the boundaries and hopefully, it will not impact your sister's job.

Your sister would be wise to not ever let your mother stay with her again.