OH unhappy about new working hours

[Jenny6753]

My OH has 8yo twins from a previous relationship. We now have a baby and I’ll return to work 2 days a week when she’s 8 months. I will work 1 weekend a month and this falls on the weekends OH has the twins (he has them every other weekend) - he’s unhappy that he will work all week then look after 2 children and a baby on his own for the weekend. He does a lot of travelling during the week and his job can be intense. He spilt up with his ex when the twins were 18months and had them on his own at a “difficult age” they have of course become easier with age but he now has a really negative mindset of looking after children on his own (I actually feel like they will be helpful with the baby) they are amazing with her now at 4 months and as they got older they will become even more helpful. He wants me to look for another job saying there will be loads of opportunities out there where I won’t have to work a weekend but I don’t want to spend the rest of my maternity job hunting. Is it unreasonable for him to look after all 3 once a month?

He should be able to, if you have 3 kids you should expect to be looking after 3 kids at least some of the time.

sorry op, but only seeing his twins every second weekend is pretty poor. I’m not surprised he’s stressing when he spends so little time with them.

one suggestion for you though - don’t change jobs, but could you ask to switch to the alternative weekend?

He only has his twins every other weekend? Four days a month. Out of thirty??!! I hope he's compensating the mother massively financially for his missing 11 days. Think how much 24/7 care for twins for 11 days would cost him. And he's still moaning!

Yes he can do it he just can't see further than his nose at the moment, remind him that he looked after the twins by himself and now he will have two little helpers. Start off leaving him with your baby for a few hours every time he is home then on the weekend the twins are over start leaving for a couple of hours with the 3 of them so he can get use to it. As a side issue you might have to pay back any maternity pay you received from your employer if you leave instead of going back.

Blimey. Some parents have 3 (plus) children to look after on their own all the time. He needs to give his head a wobble

Sounds perfect. You'll never be taken for granted. And the twins are his, not your responsibility. However, all couples should support each other. One weekend a month you're working, one weekend a month you should have complete downtime, one weekend a month you should take a complete parenting responsibility and let him have downtime, one weekend a month you should spend as a family, preferably with step-children. If everyone has a benefit in the arrangement, you'll all stop resenting each other.

He has them every other weekend but one of the weeks his partner will be working

OP has not come back and has no other posts.

you're not being unreasonable, however it would be nice for all of you to have family time at weekends, including you and perhaps that's where he's really coming from.

Meaning what? That OP should try to adjust her working hours to be 'nice'?

Am I ready this correctly- he will simply be looking after his own children?

Can he switch his weekend?

Honestly I think it's best you're all together over the weekend, so I'm with your OH.

Why would he switch his weekend, why is it 'best'?

Two 8 year olds and a baby and he can't cope? What a loser.

Why hasn't OP come back?

OP has not come back and has no other posts.

I am aware of that, I can read but sometimes people refuse because there is more to it and she needs to check before relationships sour.

I imagine it is because an advanced search would leave people with no doubt that she should ltb.

@TwylaSands , the OP has no other posts on any threads. She might have created a new user name for this thread.

In my experience, the older children get, the less interesting they find babies, so their helpfulness may not last.