To have really long hair in my 40s?

[MonicaBingaling]

Recently turned 40 and have long blonde hair (past my boobs) and don’t feel comfortable with it now at my age. Although it’s healthy hair and people often say I look younger than my age I feel almost uncomfortable with it on me now whereas loved it in my 20s and 30s

have booked to get it cut next week 🤣

I don’t like the look some women have (long hair fillers Botox dressing as if in 20s) like desperately clinging to youth. I think it’s far more classy to have short/medium length hair, less make up etc

just wondered what others opinions are?

btw no offence to anyone who’s older with long hair it’s just how I feel about it on myself

yabu - long hair on older women is fine

yanbu- shorter is better

I have always worked with people 20 - 30+ years older than me.

On one occasion the non-work related gossip subject came to hair. One woman, in her 50's said about me 'We'll give her until she's 30 then she can get her hair cut short' Why? It was sour grapes/jealously. I note her daughters are now over 30 and they have long hair!

So no, long hair on any age is fine. It's no one else's business. Do what makes you happy, it's a short life and your hair length isn't affecting anyone else.

I would hate people to see my great hair (which I know I am lucky to currently have) and then get a fright when the see mid-forties skin

Are you a heavy smoker/drinker? the people I know who are have awful skin by their 40s- like chamois leather

My mum is 66 and has long red hair. It's beautiful 😍

I’m seeing quite a few threads recently that are absolutely batshit with the ageism. A couple of them mentioned being bombarded with advertising related to being 30 or 40. I rarely see ads. I’m curious what the ads are about now.

Is this “let’s go back to the 1940s” vibe a media thing, an MN thing? Generally, I’m wondering WTAF is going on!

I’ve seen that a few times on comments on Kate Middleton. Who has fabulous long hair and is 42. I’ve seen posters comment she should get it cut off. I also assumed it was envy rather than they actually think she would look better with short hair or due to age should cut it off. It pretty much started when she had her first child.

I’m 52 and have long hair. Probably bra strap length. It’s never occurred to me to cut it because of my age. It’s thick and curly and would look awful short. Maybe if I had straight hair, I would consider it.

Honestly you have whatever you want who cares about what anybody else thinks. Mines past shoulders and I'm 53 it will remain that way until the day I die

Wow, I'll bet it is 🥰

55 here and would give my eye teeth for my hair not to snap off once it gets to shoulder length. 😔

It's definitely envy! KM has absolutely gorgeous hair- long, thick and shiny. It looks beautiful so of course people are jealous. I can understand wanting to cut your hair if long hair doesnt suit you or its thin and ratty at the ends but what's the issue with having long, beautiful hair?- are we not allowed to look nice after age 40?

I really, really pity the posters who think that way- what a sad, depressing way to live 😢

@swayingpalmtree my guess is that KM adds thickness to her hair with hairpieces, so do lots of women in the public eye. Hair does often thin or even fall out quite dramatically in the peri and menopause, I take collagen supplements and that seems to help, but having long thick hair is associated with youth not just because of trends, but because long thick hair is also more likely when you are young. I do keep mine about three inches shorter than I used to now I'm over 50 for this reason (so over my shoulders but not much longer).

Covid also thinned hair, apparently, and I had a bad bout and noticed some new hair sticking up a few months later!

See this is the sort of bitter little post. You have no idea if Kate wears hair pieces, literally none. She has naturally curly hair and a hair dresser does it, so it’s highly likely it’s completely natural and not fake.

thid whole yes it’s lovely so can’t be real thing is nonsense.

It’s bitter to suggest a celeb uses hair extensions?

Have a lie down.

I’m 62, 12 years past menopause and still have really thick hair. I don’t wear it long- not quite shoulder length - because it would just be too time consuming.

It's not remotely bitter to discuss how celebs have thicker hair! It's quite realistic to understand that thinning hair is an issue as you age, it's happened to me, my poor grandma's entire head of hair fell out and a couple of my friends have had thickening pieces or wigs made and they look wonderful. It's worse to wonder why you are struggling and 'everyone else' looks a certain way, it's kind of like wondering why celebs don't have wrinkles and you do...

I'm 44 and it's all the way to base of my spine, took me 7 years to get it that length.. I love it

"this whole yes it’s lovely so can’t be real thing is nonsense"

It really is! Is it jealousy or what?

I also find this idea that perimenopausal women look dreadful to be....beyond backwards. Like something Andrew Tate might come out with. Where is it all coming from?! It does seem very much an MN thing but I suppose that's my only place I'd see it.

I have no idea if KM wears extensions or not but her hair has always been thick even as a teenager- you can see from photos.

Yes, its certainly true that hair can thin with age (menopause etc) but I personally know many women in their 40s who have very, very thick long hair and they cant afford extensions nor would want they them as we've had discussions about it. So, I don't agree that all women over 40 with thick hair are wearing hair pieces. You do find that in Hollywood but then you find a lot of things in Hollywood that may not be "real" lolol

My husband is from Iran and all his older female relatives have absolutely glorious thick long, shiny black hair so I don't agree that everyone has had hair "help". Yes, thick hair is traditionally associated with youth, I agree with that.

My hair is very fine and silky, its been like that since childhood and
I will never ever cut it short- because short hair looks bloody hideous on me. The few times I have experimented with shorter hair I just look awful- I have quite a roundish face (think Renee zellwegger) so long hair balances me out. I refuse to have a haircut that makes me look like shit just because of some random rule that someone, somewhere has made up and applied to all women. Short hair looks amazing on some women but sadly, I am not one of them.

I think saying everyone should have short hair after 40 is as silly as saying everyone should be blonde or have black hair. You have to consider if it actually suits you first.

I'm 48 and my hair is the longest and the best condition it has been in for years as I have let the blonde grow out and realised my hair is hardly grey at all. I'm having it trimmed regularly but other than that I'm letting it grow really long if it will get there and still looks good.

Long hair doesn't suit me. I'm 57 and I wear mine shortish.

I'd love to have curly hair and have a bob.

No but you’re judging the way they look because you expect women over 40 to look a certain way!! Commenting on how long hair/botox and certain clothing shouldn’t be worn. I’m in my early 40’s, my oldest near her mid 20’s, you’d probably look at me & consider I look wrong and should try to look older due to having an older child. I have long blonde hair past my boobs, IMO majority of women in our age group who cut their hair short end up drastically aging themselves. You said it wasn’t about anyone else just what you think of yourself but that’s clearly not what you said in your first post. If you want to change your whole look to make yourself look older go for it but leave the rest of us to look how we choose to look ourselves, I’ll be sticking to my long blonde hair, skinny jeans, hoodies and trainers or skirts and ankle boots for another while yet thanks 🤣

I really don’t know.

“you sound like you have some internalised misogyny”. That sounds unfair. You’re entitled to your opinion OP.

I can remember standing behind someone with gorgeous long hair, when they turned around they were old (I was very young at the time) lined, wrinkly skin, gaunt looking. Maybe it was the contrast, I don’t know. The hair was amazing..

I’m 45 now, I had long blonde hair in my youth but now it’s to my shoulders, it’s naturally wavy. I don’t take any notice of women with long hair now. I think if it’s in good, clean condition then go for it. If it’s not, but you like it, go for it. I’ve seen young women with long hair in a terrible condition, older women with lovely hair and women and men with dirty hair/ awful styles. Shorter hair is harsher to carry off (I think) a pixie cut leaves you nothing to hide behind - think Goldie Hawn’s long layers.

At the end of the day, it’s up to you, it doesn’t affect anyone else and likely nobody even cares.

I didn't say I have awful skin. I have mid-forties skin, exactly the same as other mid-forties people that don't smoke and don't drink much.

My mum never let me grow my hair then when I was in my late 40's I grew it with the help of my lovely hairdresser. Then I got cancer and lost it all and now it's nearly back to the length I had and I'm nearly 55. Happy to keep it a bit longer.

Why would it give someone a fright though? I have absolutely never been frightened to see someone in their 40s with long hair! This is hilarious 😆 when is the cut off point? Seriously?