To have really long hair in my 40s?

[MonicaBingaling]

Recently turned 40 and have long blonde hair (past my boobs) and don’t feel comfortable with it now at my age. Although it’s healthy hair and people often say I look younger than my age I feel almost uncomfortable with it on me now whereas loved it in my 20s and 30s

have booked to get it cut next week 🤣

I don’t like the look some women have (long hair fillers Botox dressing as if in 20s) like desperately clinging to youth. I think it’s far more classy to have short/medium length hair, less make up etc

just wondered what others opinions are?

btw no offence to anyone who’s older with long hair it’s just how I feel about it on myself

yabu - long hair on older women is fine

yanbu- shorter is better

Again, where have I mentioned disfigurement, where have I suggested anyone else should cut their hair off?! I merely said that was MY worry. You seem to want to be re writing my post for me. As for being blessed by western beauty standards, I think that's your prejudices showing there, not mine

You'll have to try and find someone else to argue with now I'm afraid

I know what you mean. I'm in my forties and have always had long hair. I feel like people expect a younger face.

And as a women in my 30s, perhaps I need to cut my hair and dye it grey in case someone thinks I’m in my 20s from the side 🤷‍♀️
my hair isn’t naturally grey yet, but I’m pretty sure a lot of the women on here who think you must cut your hair don’t also stop dying their hair.

Where I live, women don’t stop growing their hair and still look attractive even with an ‘older’ face. It’s not a sin.

And as a women in my 30s, perhaps I need to cut my hair and dye it grey in case someone thinks I’m in my 20s from the side

I really think you ought to- very unfair to others otherwise 😄

Also, I don't get the short hair thing anyway- plenty of young people have short hair so how can you immediately tell someone's age from the back anyway. It's not as if ALL young women have hair down to their bums.

I too still have long hair for the love of God!!! I still wear heels and makeup! I just worry that maybe I give the impression of being young from the back when I'm not. Bravo to those who don't care about this stuff

And if anything, if I see a woman is actually
older all I think is wow she looks great!

I don’t like the look some women have (long hair fillers Botox dressing as if in 20s) like desperately clinging to youth. I think it’s far more classy to have short/medium length hair, less make up etc

btw no offence to anyone who’s older with long hair it’s just how I feel about it on myself

Can you not see the massive contradiction between those two statements? It's not 'just how you feel about it on yourself' - you literally say you don't like the look on other women.

Cut your hair however you want, nobody fucking cares. But mind your own business about other people's. Not everyone gives a shit about turning 40. Most women just want to carry on being themselves. There is nothing more boring, joyless and pedestrian than 'style rules'.

I'm 48 and I've had short hair for most of my adult life, because I've always liked mostly edgy or vintage looks. Currently rocking a 1920s Louise Brooks bob with a pillar-box red slice through it. But if I ever fancy growing it long again, I certainly will. Bloody love makeup too. I've got decent skin so I don't need much in the way of foundation but as I'm ultra-pale I generally go for a dramatic dark eye.

Cut your hair however you want, nobody fucking cares. But mind your own business about other people's. Not everyone gives a shit about turning 40. Most women just want to carry on being themselves. There is nothing more boring, joyless and pedestrian than 'style rules'.

But long hair seems to be becoming a “style rule” in and of itself. I see and hear so often that short hair looks awful on women.

Just be careful. I went a bit crazy after the pandemic and had all my hair cut off in a Judi Dench style. I did not look like Judi Dench- I looked like Mrs Potato Head had stuck her head in a bucket of bleach.
It's taking AGES to grow back...

Well I frequently go down the street and if I see someone has long hair I think wow I really hope she’s stunning AND about 17!

I feel like this is linking to a real lack in self confidence?

edit: I’m being sarcastic btw! I do not think this when I go down the street!

Yes, I agree! Whenever I see someone with long beautiful hair I always just think wow- thats lovely long beautiful hair. It would never occur to me to think "I hope that person isnt being deceptive by being older or not as attractive from the front!".

I agree it's about self confidence, but it's a shame because when you are lacking in confidence, you think everyone is looking at you and judging you. When in reality, most people going about their day are supremely self absorbed, lost in their own thoughts and probably don't even notice this trivial stuff as much as you think they do.

Even if they do have a judgy thought about it- who cares? you will always be miserable in life if you try to please everyone because someone, somewhere, will always dislike the way you look because you will never please everyone all at once.

Twisting yourself into a pretzel to please others is the fastest road I know to personal unhappiness.

On my goodness you are being blasted! I am approaching 50 and like my hair to be around shoulder length, but I’ve never liked my hair too long and I don’t suit it short (I’ve tried). I kind of get what you mean, but it very much depends on the quality of your hair. I think some women go a bit shorter if their hair thins with age as it can help to make it look a bit thicker. That’s not happened to me (yet). Do what makes you happy, but don’t go too drastic all at once in case you regret it! My mum’s generation all thought you should cut your hair at 40, as you can tell by the fact a lot of white women around 80ish have short hair. Indian women on the other hand generally keep their’s long and look gorgeous, so it’s personal choice really and what you feel comfortable with. I’m sooo not a Botox/filler girl, so can’t comment on that.

I completely agree with this. This is how I feel. I would hate people to see my great hair (which I know I am lucky to currently have) and then get a fright when the see mid-forties skin. I don't want to be drawing attention to myself by giving people frights! It's still long, shiny and blond right now, but yeah this is how I feel.

I agree that taking a few inches off can be more flattering in your forties in the same way that having very dark hair or very bleached hair looks better in your 20s - the contrast works very well with young skin.

However having read your subsequent posts it seems your issue is more than you have the exact same style for the last three decades and now just see an older version of younger you. I suggest you do make some changes; get some low lights or highlights (get advice), choppy layers or maybe a fringe. Something to look fresher. And experiment with new clothes, can you book a personal shopper stylist?

@twiddlingthumbs69 your hair looks great. Can I ask what you ask your hairdresser to do colour wise?

I'm 47 and my hair is a good few inches longer now than this which was taken the last time I had it cut in October Have it how you like it imo.

@PocketSand thank you. I don't have any colour etc on it, it's natural. We've been lucky like that, whole family is blonde

@qotsa Your hair is beautiful!

I'm 47 and also have long hair and it's staying that way. I couldn't give a flying fck if anyone thinks I'm desperately clinging on to my youth or whatever other unkind judgements they might decide to make about me. I can guarantee I will have a few judgements of my own to make on their choice of appearance if this is ever verbalised to me, as in my experience it's often the people who look very old and frumpy before their time that say this stuff out of pure jealousy.

I have waist length hair and I'm 62, it looks great. I dress in bohemian style and it suits me.

I’m 44 and my hair is halfway down my back. I dye it brown or I would be totally grey. If I live to 90, I will still dye it brown. I don’t want grey hair.

I had a bob in my mid 30s in a fit of madness and looked like Fryer Tuck.

I look shit with short hair.

And I honestly don’t care what anyone else thinks.

This means you automatically associate long hair with youth, and short hair with older women. I do not. Nor do most of the posters on here. And who in living history has ever got a “fright” when seeing an older woman. Particular one in their forties. Christ I’ve seen women in their seventies and eighties with long hair, I didn’t get a “fright”

I might if pressed judge someone’s age from behind , by their gait, their body , their choice of attire, but I’d never think oh long hair must be a young woman, I find the idea ludicrous. And I certainly can’t imagine getting a fright to see it was am older woman.

genuinely stunned at the stuff some folks think, never mind post.

would hate people to see my great hair (which I know I am lucky to currently have) and then get a fright when the see mid-forties skin. I don't want to be drawing attention to myself by giving people frights! It's still long, shiny and blond right now, but yeah this is how I feel

You'd better make that hair appointment right now then- if you are literally frightening people on the regular. Are people literally running away from you screaming?

Who are all these people who are frightened at the sight of skin that isn't <40 years old? They must have a hell of a time

Honestly no one cares. Everyone is wrapped up in their own lives.