Not picking my kids up from school?

[TramTime]

In fact I know I'm not.

DH is being fucking ridiculous.

My kids are 13 and 15. We recently moved and to get home without a car lift they need to use public transport or walk 50 mins.

DH drops them off and picks them up everyday.
Occasionally he has work commitments so cannot.

Since moving I have met them at school the 2 times this has happened because they've never used the tram system before, so I just showed them where to get on/where to get off/what ticket to buy so they don't get a fine etc

He's just said he can't pick them up 2 days this week. I said I will make sure to give them tram fare and he said I should go meet them.

I said no. There's kids in year 7 that get the tram. They're old enough to just come home.

He said 'it's not a huge inconvenience to you!!' but it fucking is. It's an hour out of my day that's unnecessary, they're way, way, way old enough.

My son is very young minded and a mummy's boy so he would probably want me to meet him but last time I met them my daughter was obviously embarrassed getting on the tram with her mum with all her peers around.

And I don't blame her!!

I only did it a couple of times to show them the ropes and now they need to do it on their own.

The thing that pissed me off most is him making out like I'm just being lazy and refusing because I can't be arsed.

They're not primary kids. They don't need me to go!!

AIBU to think a 13 and 15 year old don't need escorting home?

He's way too over protective.

DD goes to town alone with her mates and all sorts!

They sound like they can do it independently.

No - don’t collect them. They need to be learning some basic skills of how to get around on public transport. DT’s and their friends started getting the tube to and from school on their own from age 11.

YANBU and he’s doing them no favours stifling their independence like this.

YANBU. Once they're in secondary they can get public transport. It's important for them to learn independence.

Of course YANBU. I agree that your DH isn't really doing them any favours by picking them up. Part of parenting is helping them develop life skills, so you're doing a better job of that than your DH!

He chooses to go get them everyday,

Then acts like some martyr because he makes that choice.

In summer they should be getting the tram anyways.

And before we moved they walked home everyday so it's not like they've not had to make their way home before.

You are teaching them important life skills OP. Stick to your guns!

YANBU at all! My DS learned to navigate public transport at 11, as I'm a non driver.

Will they be travelling together?

On one of the days DS will have to stay in the library for 45 mins because his sister has an activity, but yes, they will be. (He will do his homework)

No don't get them and neither should he. Kids need to learn skills like navigating around cities.

Of course they can travel on their own.

I’d be surprised if they want to travel together - DT’s rarely did. No reason for one to wait for the other. Sounds like they need to develop some independence.

They need to come home alone. Mine have been transporting themselves to school and back either on foot or bus since Y6. Eldest is now Y11 and is super scathing that some of her friends have no idea how to use public transport

DS has never travelled alone, he is the younger. DD has.

With time he will be able to travel alone if his sister has something going on but as this is the first time they'll be travelling the route alone I would prefer them to go together.

I agree they should make their own way home.
It is important for them to learn to do such things independently

Absolutely they should have been been getting the tram since they started secondary, especially since other kids do it.
I drop and pick up mine from the train station because its 5 minutes away in the car. ds2 gets the train and then walks to school. If i dont pick him up, which sometimes i cant, he then has to walk 10 mins to the bus station, and get the bus home which is a further half an hour. He has been trained up and I can track him just in case.
How will they ever learn if they never do it?

We lived a 10 min walk away from school before we moved so they couldn't get the tram, any stop would have taken them further away from home. 😂

Goodness of course they are plenty old enough! We he said you should meet them I thought he meant collect them in the car but it's ridiculous to escort them in public transport! I live in London and kids get themselves across London from Y7.

😂

Your DH needs to stop dropping them and picking them up. They are far too old. Does getting a lift take significantly less time than the tram?

He's doing them no favours. They need to learn to be independent, not to mention that they should be using public transport for environmental reasons.

No, not really when you factor in DH getting there.
The tram journey itself is about 7 mins, plus a 15 min walk. The tram stop is directly outside school (although it is across a very busy dual carriageway which I think probably contributes to DHs worry, though there are crossings)

The car journey total is about 30 mins from leaving to getting back home.

I might suggest to him about dropping them off at school and them making their own way home from next term when it's warmer.

I didn’t pick my DC up from Junior School and NEVER from secondary school. They did bus and tube (and a walk for DD).

You cannot be bothered to type 'as fuck' yet I'm the lazy one? 🤔 😂