Not picking my kids up from school?

[TramTime]

In fact I know I'm not.

DH is being fucking ridiculous.

My kids are 13 and 15. We recently moved and to get home without a car lift they need to use public transport or walk 50 mins.

DH drops them off and picks them up everyday.
Occasionally he has work commitments so cannot.

Since moving I have met them at school the 2 times this has happened because they've never used the tram system before, so I just showed them where to get on/where to get off/what ticket to buy so they don't get a fine etc

He's just said he can't pick them up 2 days this week. I said I will make sure to give them tram fare and he said I should go meet them.

I said no. There's kids in year 7 that get the tram. They're old enough to just come home.

He said 'it's not a huge inconvenience to you!!' but it fucking is. It's an hour out of my day that's unnecessary, they're way, way, way old enough.

My son is very young minded and a mummy's boy so he would probably want me to meet him but last time I met them my daughter was obviously embarrassed getting on the tram with her mum with all her peers around.

And I don't blame her!!

I only did it a couple of times to show them the ropes and now they need to do it on their own.

The thing that pissed me off most is him making out like I'm just being lazy and refusing because I can't be arsed.

They're not primary kids. They don't need me to go!!

AIBU to think a 13 and 15 year old don't need escorting home?

He's way too over protective.

DD goes to town alone with her mates and all sorts!

Oh I didn't realise it was illegal to have an opinion.
Crack on op. No clue why you posted when clearly this is a complete non issue.

My kids made their own way home independently from the age of 10. They walked home from year 6.

DD, now 13, gets a bus alone to her secondary school, which is in a busy market town.

They have to learn.

I'd be telling him if it's that important to him then he can collect them. Kids that age don't need a chaperone to get home from school.

I'd also be encouraging the younger to come home without his sister. He's 13. He's done the journey with her. He should be able to manage it without her.

Could you find a safe cycle route for them?

Why, when there's a perfectly good tram route? - which is probably safer than cycling.

I'm surprised the 15 yo hasn't wanted to travel independently already. By that age, don't schoolkids want to go to the shops or to a cafe with their friends after school, or call in at a friend's house if they live nearby?

13 yo needs to learn to travel independently. At that age, he should be wanting to go out and about with his friends in the holidays, so needs to be confident using public transport.

Teenagers who grow up with access to good public transport have such an advantage over those who don't, they should be encouraged to make the most of it to get themselves around.

He's totally infantilising them.

They will end up at 18 being totally useless and dependent unless he let's them branch out.

You sound very silly! You don't teach your children life skills, just mummy or daddy will pick them up?

And......

The 15 year old will want a job soon I expect so needs to do it independently. My DSC don't have the transport links at their main home that we do at ours so it's been really tough to get them confident enough to go on a bus for 20 minutes yet alone a tube

Why? There's a tram

They will end up at 18 being totally useless and dependent unless he let's them branch out.

When I was on a train recently, there was a group of what looked like Sixth-form age girls in the same carriage. They were asking each other if they'd ever been on a train before! (Train was going to a university town, so I thought they might be going to an open day or something.)

So when he brings his kids up to be incapable is he going to complain they never move out because they can't?
It's a basic life skill every 11plus kid has, including how to cope with missing your stop, missing your bus, cancellations, etc
It's not laziness it's teaching. He's a fuckwit.

No of course they can and should be doing it by themselves. My DD has been getting a public bus to and from school since start of year 7!

Your husband is raising snowflakes. My 6yr old is capable of getting himself on a bus. (he isn't allowed to go totally alone but has his own fayre that he pays himself he knows where the bus stop is and what number bus is the right one and knows which stop to get off at for his grandma's - the shopping centre - City centre).

Six year old on the bus alone?? Seems a bit young!

I’m a secondary teacher and have been for nearly 20 years, I have year 7 kids who walk up to town (5 mins) to catch a public bus to the next town or to the train station (15 mins walk) to get a train to local towns.

As you say many other kids are doing it. If I were you I’d tell your daughter to tell her father to get a grip, she doesn’t want you to accompany her, it embarrassing and she will make sure her brother is ok (my assumption is she is the older one so apologies if that’s wrong)

I assume they both have phones to call you if there is an issue.

I would imagine if a significant number of kids are crossing to get the tram right outside the school then the school will have someone on duty to make sure it’s being done safely. It’s on the interest of the school and their reputation to make sure the kids are creating traffic chaos by running in front of cars.

I'd expect them to be able to do that journey alone from 10 to be honest.

My daughter travelled to Bangladesh on her own age 15, so I’m sure they will be absolutely fine

Sounds like a waste of money if you're having to pay for the tram there and back too. I collect my 2 from school a couple of times a week but it saves on bus fare as I drive. Bus fare is £2 per child and it doesn't cost me £4 in petrol.

I think a lot of this is to do with the area. Mine isn’t safe so I’m reluctant to let them travel. At that age children need independence though.

I see so many young uni students at work who literally can’t make simple decisions as they’ve been so over protected. Leads to all sorts of issues for them.

When my son started secondary he had a bus ride of 45 mins. I still expected himself to get himself there and back at 11! None of his friends were taken or picked up, I would have found it quite embarrassing to be honest!!

I walked to school and back from year 7 it was easily an hour each way.
If it was really raining hard I'd get a bus but not once did I get picked up or dropped off nor would I have wanted to.

If they're getting dropped off in the morning, I'd be encouraging them to walk home. 50 minutes of walking a day is not unreasonable.

But in any case YANBU.

It’s ridiculous that he thinks you need to collect them.

2 buses and a train plus a 15 minute walk from 11 for my son. Many at his school tubed out from London before getting the train and then the walk