Walked out of mother's day lunch

[BigBreaths]

I probably am BU

3 teenaged sons, 1 daughter.
Cards and gifts organised by DH from the 3 at home. Text message from the one at uni.

For my treat I wanted to go to the garden centre to get bedding plants and have lunch.

2 boys didn't want to come.
DH and DD came. DH bought his seed potatoes to plant.
Cafe was busy, we had to wait a while for a table. DH told me off for waiting near the tables "loitering trying to get people to leave" (to be clear I wasn't standing over any one table, just standing within the cafe area).
Finally sit down, looking at menu, DD decides what she wants, DH looks, says "I'll have sausage and chips". I tell him what I would like. He makes it clear he isn't going to the counter while having a face like a slapped arse. I say it's mother's day so i would appreciate it if I didn't have to queue and order, and anyway what would he do if I weren't there? Him: "I wouldn't be in here. I hate these sort of places. They make me very uncomfortable".

So I said right, let's leave then, you aren't going to enjoy it. He says don't be silly. I say no, it's ruined now, and head off.

In the moment I felt really upset that of my whole family, 2 didn't bother coming at all, my other son didn't bother sending a card, and my DH couldn't put himself out to go and order or hide his dislike of my "treat".

As we got home, my neighbour was being taken out to lunch by her family. Most ironic.

I think she has mentioned she has a severely autistic child - im a random stranger and thinking she deserves not to stand in a queue on Mother’s Day and deserves a treat. Seriously!

Lunch at the Garden Centre? Very John Shuttleworth.

@easylikeasundaymorn I meant from breakfast time 9am until coming home at 3pm is like 6 hours. You’re really quite unnecessarily rude. I’m out of this thread.

We all have different breaking points and I don't think you're being unreasonable, because your expectations were modest.
It’s bad form not to make a fuss of Mum on Mother’’s Day.
It’s bad form not to spoil Mum/Wife on Mother’s Day.
Yes it’s hyped to death and very commercial, but so is Christmas, so are birthdays 18ths, 21st and the bloody prom which is an import from the USA and designed to cost a fortune, but is an absolute MUST for the little darlings.
I think Dad and the boys need a kick up the derrière. Being kind and making a fuss of Mum, starts with Dad getting his arse into gear and then he can rally the kids. A lovely card preferably home made, a nice breakfast in bed or Dad cooking lunch, a glass of bubbles and a box of chocs or Mum’s favourite dvd….these things say ‘I love you and thanks for everything’ and they don't cost a fortune.

I love how you're being called unreasonable and bratty. You wanted to go for sausage and chips in the local garden centre cafe. You didn't expect him to charter a private jet to fly to to New York for lunch FGS!

You think your Mother's Day was bad? You don't know how it went with your neighbour

Happy Mothering Sunday!

I think the expectations for mothers day is totally unrealistic. I usually receive a card and flowers from my adult children and if they are avaliable a visit. I think it's nice for mothers everywhere to have a dedicated day of recognition without the need for mothers competing with each other as to who is 'getting'the most from their family.

Seriously your idea of hell? Get a grip? It’s not like she asked them to walk a marathon over lego with no shoes on is it? They could have sucked it up with a smile on their face for a couple of hours.

@Dragonsandcats I was agreeing with a poster who said that the op was being petulant.

FFS the people saying don't be bratty , you are NOT being unreasonable in the slightest, they can fuck off, you did right op , take care ,and tell them in future if they can't be bothered to fuck off elsewhere, Jesus they should be waiting on you mums are everything.

Yes, @Toddlerteaplease you appeared to be agreeing that a couple of hours in a garden centre was an idea of hell. I thought that might be a bit of an exaggeration 🤷

so sad for you. imagine not having any day in which you are appreciated because you are not married and do not have kids. sorry birthdays dont count.imagine all the holidays that exclude you and then have some understanding.the expectations and the entitlement is huge.grow up.

YANBU, at all. Good to hear they’ve (he’s) tried to make amends later on. Your DD sounds lovely 💐

Have yourself a spa day to yourself OP, that’s what I did for my birthday…had a family day the day before so if it didn’t work out then my spa day wouldn’t be ruined! I have young kids and so for different reasons, days out often end up not great and there are tears

I mean this nicely but this thread is about Mother’s Day. The OP celebrates Mother’s Day because she is a mother. Should the OP be okay with her husband having a Face of Doom on Mother’s Day because some women don’t have a husband and children?

Her expectation was that they would come to a garden centre and queue up to order her a jacket potato. It isn’t as though she wanted fireworks and a dancing elephant.

So? It's the one day she gets to choose. How hard is it for them to tolerate lunch in a place that's not of their choosing? How often has she sat in shitty pizza or chicken places because it's what kids like? I find it quite interesting that when I say, no, I choose today, I realise that the rest of the bloody time I do what they want without even questioning it.

Then why didn't they make more of an effort and take her somewhere nicer?

YANBU they were all piss poor OP. They let you down. Don't blame you for walking out.

Strange response. It’s normal for dads to do it in my neck of woods, especially if their children are too young to organise and pay for meals, gifts and cards themselves. They organise the kids making meals as well but do the bulk of the work being adult. So it’s a team effort and about training kids to be thankful for what their parents do.

Your husband sounds horrible

Lamplights🙄 gaslights

Oh behave 😂

Good lord. Just grow up. Its mothers days, not your wedding day.

My boys got me a card each and agreed to come for a walk.

I cooked dinner and tidied up because its really just a normal day and I'm not a child

Well, my H made one fuck of a fuss of me today because he’s very grateful to me for bearing his children, taking the majority hit to my life and health and for raising small people that he now lives for.

You can really spot the posters whose partners give no shits. It’s bitterness or internalised misogyny.

It's really not. Some people just aren't all that bothered. Nothing wrong with that.