Why is being successful frowned upon by most on Mumsnet

[Teenangels]

I have been/seen on some threads that people, are negative towards those that have become successful, children go to private school means the kids are entitled.

Why can't we celebrate that some people get lucky with an idea, take risks, work incredibly hard and pay their fair share on taxes.

I have seen people demand that the OP gives their profits to charity without even knowing what the OP gives to charity.

We need to celebrate all in society.

One of the reasons that I have worked so hard to provide a more comfortable life for my DC is due to my terrible experience at a state comprehensive school which destroyed my mental health and ended up with a suicide attempt. I wanted to have more choices for my DC and one is now at a top state grammar and the other is in a private school. I am not successful because of my state school education. I am successful because of my own hard work and determination and that allowed me to overcome the failings of my education.

I am going to disagree with you from my own experience, we had nothing and become successful, I know that we are one of the lucky ones.

My point is we should celebrate everyone and not have such a judgement on people.

Private school can also harm mental health, its not a state school thing.

Totally agree with you. No wonder this country is full of just mediocre people pulling each other down in the race to the bottom.
Lots of envy and laziness.

Treating everyone the same is sometimes the most unfair thing to do though.

My DD goes to private school because the state school is absolutely crap with SEN.

She is flourishing at the school she is in.

I have worked my arse off as a lone parent to get to a six figure salary so I could afford it.

Which makes it somewhat bizarre that MN has a reputation for being full of MC mums. It seems to be full of people struggling, on UC and with disabled dc living on benefits.

I don't mind threads like this. As far as I'm concerned MN is for everyone. There will be other ambers who can relate so these threads are for them. MN is not just for people in your socio economic group.

I think that lots of people do not see hard work, as an attribute.

People forget that those that work in top law firms are not doing well, they are let go.

I also think that most high earners are not the typical MN hedge funders/lawyers.

I didn’t say it was, I said it was about choices. There was no choice for me, there is for my DC and that’s why they are in two completely different schools. My DC in private school hates large crowds and noise, it causes him anxiety. That’s why a private school with small class sizes suits him best. I am helping to protect his mental health. If he becomes unhappy at that school, I can send him to another. Choices, choices, choices.

Choices not everyone has

Thank you, it would seem being proud of your own achievements is frowned upon.

I think it's good to have open conservations about money - so, women here can talk about what they earn (whether high or low), and what they do with that money if they want to.

It really isn't cool when people at either end of the income spectrum behave like dicks towards people at the other end of the spectrum.

Be proud of your own achievements. Absolutely. Just don't ask for applause, it's pathetic.

Many very wealthy people are very mediocre but many think themselves great because they have wealth

Wealth that often ( usually ) comes from having a lot of luck and privilege

It's a race to the bottom because someone pulled the rug out and stopped extra-ordinary poor people progressing. When you do that you end up with a lot of bright people furious - not jealous , angry

It's the conditions for revolution; it's why extremist political movements are doing well - people want a FAIR chance and many of them are not stupid

I don't think you've actually read my post.

It's increasingly difficult to achieve what you've done, or what my husband has done (I'm an immigrant but with a more privileged background, so harder to slot me into a box in UK society.

It's great that you realise that you've been both hardworking and lucky. Unfortunately not everyone does recognise that, or recognise how much more stratified and stagnant our society has become over the last couple of decades. And I can understand why people get pissed off when it's implied that if only they had also worked hard enough, the same result would have been available to them.

It's a bit like people who bought property in 2002 telling young people today to just give up drinking lattes and avocados.

And I'll disagree with you on celebrating everyone. Some people's journeys and achievements are much more to be celebrated than others'.

Where have I asked for applause, I look forward to you providing evidence.

Please read my OP again

Some of them probably will be working longer hours, yes. I think it’s safe to assume though that anyone working in physically demanding jobs (and especially those who have to work nights) are likely to have more profound impacts on their health than those who are working long hours in office environments. Both are ‘hard work’ but one is harder work than the other IMO. Carers and cleaners (and many other workers in physical jobs) should be paid more than they are is what I’m saying really.

How about every single post. What does it matter to you what people think? Own your principles and make your decisions and be proud of how you live your life but, playing the victim because you can't get universal approval on MN is incredibly needy.

Not all state schools. Dc have SEN and they've had amazing support.

Postcode lottery perhaps.

You’re missing the point. I was explaining why I wanted to be successful.
My success has given me choices for my DC, choices that I didn’t have growing up as a free school meals girl with a father who was in and out of work all the time.

Exactly. I think the lack of awareness of privilege is much of the problem. You see it all the time on here.

But feeling proud of yourself because you worked hard and are a massive success is great. Why are people so put out by it. It's not saying people who haven't got much in life don't work hard. It's like saying 'I worked really hard on my diet and exercise, transformed my life and now I look like a million pounds' doesn't mean everyone who looks a bit shit is lazy and a glutton.

This is exactly what the Op is saying. Why do some people see it as bragging. Why pull people down? Don't get me wrong, some people do brag. But just being wealthy and successful and saying you worked super hard for it is not necessarily bragging and it's not a commentary on anyone else.

It's a better message than being super wealthy and successful and not having worked hard for it. It's important that younger people realise it wasn't always handed to people on a plate. That sometimes we can create the life we want through hard work, dedication, commitment and taking the right risks.

I read your post and I was talking from my own experience.

I think it ok, to celebrate everyone.

@Itscatsallthewaydown There’s plenty who have started with nothing, have worked hard and still don’t have much. Mostly people in useful occupations TBH.
What you’re talking about there is luck.

It's rarely luck and it's an important message to young people that luck is a very very small part of success.

It's usually one degree of risk taking along with all the hard work, dedication and commitment. Risk taking not to go into a safe career. Risk taking to push to do something different.
People who go into rewarding and admirable fields like nursing and teaching work tremendously hard but they took zero risks. It's the element of pushing yourself out there that is the major factor in financial success.

Nurses take ‘zero risk’?! Fuck right off. Life and death decisions every day.