Why is being successful frowned upon by most on Mumsnet

[Teenangels]

I have been/seen on some threads that people, are negative towards those that have become successful, children go to private school means the kids are entitled.

Why can't we celebrate that some people get lucky with an idea, take risks, work incredibly hard and pay their fair share on taxes.

I have seen people demand that the OP gives their profits to charity without even knowing what the OP gives to charity.

We need to celebrate all in society.

You know the personal circumstances of all posters? Well I never....

That last comment smacks of envy.

No - I think it’s tragic tbh.

This is a wonderful post, thank you.

The assumption on MN is that if you earn above the average you have had a background that allows you, but you are looked down on because it seems unfair by most.

I have zero interest in designer handbags, but posters posting about having that kind of money to spend on bags are usually in the S and B section. Perfectly legitimate question to post there.

Tragic?

That people enjoy using a forum for its intended purpose?

Bizarre.

I’m sure that given enough time we’ll
come to terms with your disappointment.

I don't measure success in just terms of career and money though and that's what you seem to be on about. Don't get me wrong I think the women who achieved this through hard work and manage to juggle a family are great , however I also see a woman who's turned her life around from having nothing to been able to get a job a pick her self up as equally successful and great. Speaking for myself I'm married we are really happy and content and my 2 teens are good kids , they are not perfect nobody is but they are absolutely no trouble at all really so I'm successful in what I wanted in my life

Where have a wanted anyone to be on bended knee.

I would like society as a whole, to celebrate those that have become successful and worked hard not to be met with jealousy that they have had a leg up.

The vast majority of wealthy people have a lot of luck and most of them assume that they don't

Social mobility has declined a lot over recent years - bright hardworking kids from the wrong background have to work much harder to achieve anything

And yet sone people want to be able to boast and brag and have people say oh well done you

I will save my praise for people I think worthy of it and attaining wealth isn't of itself something I think praiseworthy

We just have different values

I think it's worth taking a step back and considering why this feels like it's getting worse - to me it feels like it is and my theory is that it has a huge amount to do with the increase in I equality and reduction in social mobility.

If it feels like there are fewer chances for improvement, and that the decks are increasingly stacked in favour of those who already have a degree of wealth/privilege, then it seems logical that resentment will increase vs a situation where opportunity is more equally spread.

As an example, there's a fascinating and depressing piece on TES this morning on the post-Covid recovery plans for young people and how the analysis showed the impacts were hugely unevenly spread. The degree of lost learning and progress is so different between schools with high levels of deprivation vs those with more affluent cohorts. So kids who were already starting from a statistically worse place are worse affected by the pandemic across a number of measures, and the government decided not to fund the recovery needed (and that is being provided by eg Germany and the Netherlands).

My kids are lucky. They have financially secure parents, we're both educated and the kids are naturally quite academic. But the first factor gives them a massive leg up as they spent the pandemic in schools with low deprivation and have parents who could (a) support their learning effectively and fill the gaps and (b) if needed could afford to supplement with tutoring. We can afford extracurriculars to help them make up the lost social and team working opportunities.

That's just one area where my kids, who were already starting the race ahead, have been given a further leg up because of the government's choices. There are so many others. And given that social mobility and inequality are getting worse, not better, I can't blame people for being resentful.

I think attaining wealth is immensely praiseworthy, especially for women, as long as you are not doing it by PPE profiteering like Michellle Mone.

Much more concise version of my post!

The future economic impacts of the pandemic on the future economy, as well as in individuals, is terrifying.

But not always

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5009863-to-show-you-how-much-i-love-my-new-bag

Oh. I must have missed that @BadLad. That is a very ugly bag. I have zero FOMO about not being able to afford it.😂I generally feel that way about most designer stuff.

It was on the AMA thread about their income being over £500k.

Agree with this

I am not about what people earn or career, my husbands career would be laughed at my most, he saw a gap in the market and went for it.

I see the woman that you describe as successful my point being that we should celebrate everyone, its not a race to the bottom.

I admire women who have done things and achieved. They are great examples for young women. I have little patience for women who claim credit for their husbands careers. Obviously that is not the same.

I am interested to know why you think so little of the women that claim credit for their husbands careers?

They have chosen to support him, by taking on the role of SAHP, I would also support a man that has chosen to stay at home and support his partner.

What do you think of a women that has chosen to work part time, husband goes out to work but they claim a benefit top up or the other way around.

Because it is less. I have seen women achieve more. Most of our society is set up for a woman to support a man in a career. It's a default. What kind of achievement is it for a woman to support a man in that way? That has been the standard arrangement for ages!

I always think its a shame when people who have been state school educated and have gone on to be successful, send their kids private

Of course I'm not talking about them - I'm talking about the ones who have no choice, because the social care provision in this country has been shredded.

And then you have the fact that the thresholds for being eligible for state social care have remained more or less static, while inflation has meant that everyone's money is worth 20-30% less than it was. The effective result is that the thresholds have been reduced relative to the actual assets that can be used for it.

You're right, it would take a monumental additional tax burden to get it back to a decent standard, but far more than it would've cost not to destroy it in the first place.

My point is that everyone assumes that it has come from privilege.

Most posters have actually made the point.

To be fair, it's increasingly likely to have come from privilege.

It's increasingly hard to make the innovative, creative, brilliant hard-working things work unless you're starting from a degree of existing privilege.

I think a lot if it comes down to the attitude of the posters.

I think a lot of people are unable to step outside their own experiences and actually understand the position of others.

I think it goes both ways in MN - plenty of posters consider wealthy people to be bragging even when there's no evidence of it in their posters.

Some more well off posters, seem unable to understand, that outsourcing difficult jobs is not possible due to lack of funds- why don't you get a cleaner isn't much good to someone struggling on minimium wage.

I think people are far too fond of tearing down others, instead of realising we are all different, different goals & priorities, different circumstances/opportunities etc and that no matter who you are, life will throw you some difficulties.