To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

[Goldenrainbows]

We are away at the moment and went to eat last night in a family pub with an indoor play area which seemed to get my ds (3) a bit hyper. He’s normally really good in restaurants but was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating. I was doing my best to deal with it.

It really wasn’t helped by a woman sitting at the table behind us who kept interfering and shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ every time he was swinging on his chair and making comments about him and us. I don’t think it was coming from a bad place but AIBU in thinking it really wasn’t appropriate? It was stressful and meant we couldn’t deal with DS properly as she was taking our attention. (By the way ds was far from the only badly behaved child there.)

Oh my goodness, people are so judgy! It’s a family pub with an indoor play area. Anyone choosing to eat here in the daytime either has little kids or is insane. The other diner should not have been commenting or interfering, no. Our kids all have bad days/moments. You did your best and it was a tricky day. Ignore the ‘perfect’ parents in here and chalk it up to experience.

👏 👏

But, but, it's a child friendly area with a soft play space?!

I wonder how many kids cause accidents/have things spilled on them in child friendly pubs/restaurants with soft play spaces. And then I bet the parents are the compensation culture type. So no matter that Tyson/Johnny/Tarquin was running into the wait staff which caused something to be spilled onto them it's the wait staff's fault, always?!

But, but, it's a child friendly area with a soft play space?!

NO. The soft play is a ruse. No one expects to put up with excited children. A child swinging on their chair will RUIN YOUR MEAL, as any of these fine folks will tell you.

You should abandon the lunch you're paying for and TAKE THEM AWAY so all the good parents (like the people advising you on this thread), may enjoy fine dining at the Play Barn.

Oblivious, entitled, ineffective parents who fucking ruin restaurants for the rest of us.

Look, the thing is this page is called “am I being unreasonable”
not “assure me I was not being unreasonable and validate my choices”. So if you post something and the consensus is that you were being unreasonable then that was the risk you took when you signed up, so perhaps re-think the attempts to tell everyone they are wrong? You asked the question…

NO IT WON'T!

Eat your meal and look the other way!

Are you the sort of person who judges breast feeding mothers, moaning that you could see some flesh whilst staring at the woman feeding.

Look away, ignore, let the parent deal with it.

I don't think the woman was at fault. Your child and his antics caught her attention and she commented on it.
You must parent your child and if they're past that, from tiredness or whatever, you need to remove them as they spoil others' meals.

I feel for you. Ive had some shitty meals out with a small Child. It’s embarrassing and stressful

it was a pub with play area so surely other diners are expecting small kids to be playing up

she shouldn’t have interfered

This. I cannot believe the amount of harsh comments here! The child is 3 years old! If I wanted a peaceful meal out, I certainly wouldn't go to a restaurant with an indoor play area. 🤦‍♀️

I was being sarcastic.
I agree with you.

Having kids is hard. It is very frustrating when your or friends are sitting chatting eating their meal and you need to get up and deal with your kids. I get it. However. As soon as my kid runs off in a restaurant he would be grabbed and unceremoniously plonked on my knee. There he would stay until he can show me he’s calm enough for another chance. Same with the chair swinging. I’ve had more years of this than most as my nearly 9 year old is autistic and has adhd and can still act like a toddler. If he is restless, excitable or overwhelmed I take him outside for a walk / play. If he is noisy and disturbing other people I take him outside too. There is no excuse for a child running around in a restaurant. You should’ve grabbed him and restrained him.
I’ve had many meals where I didn’t eat or ate cold food because of this, but sadly it needs to be done. You can’t remain in your seat eating and saying not to do something if the child isn’t listening.
as a parent myself it still annoys me when other peoples children don’t behave. I have to deal with my own children, I don’t need to listen to or put up with other peoples kids shrieking or charging about as well.

@pictoosh I'm sorry 🤦‍♀️!!

I missed it!

I've got a cold, so that's my defence for being stupid!

As you were!

You clearly were to blame. What you should have done is take duct tape and taped him to the chair and floor so not to ruin the lovely quiet meal everyone decided to go to in prime time at a combi pub and soft play. I often go to such establishments for a tranquil meal. YOU WOULD HAVE RUINED MY DAY

Sounds like she ruined her own meal. What did she expect in a family restaurant with a soft play. Maybe if she wasn't interfering and screeching, maybe yorr wee boy would have been calmer.

My ex dh also expected me to do all the parenting while he slept, ate, watched TV etc. Thankfully my 4dc only needed me to look at them in a certain way and they behaved. No shouting, smacking or bribery required.

Yeah. YABU. Your DS was a nightmare on a night out. You love him. No one else did on that night. You weren't dealing with your son. If you were able to deal with him, you would have been seen to be in control or operating a strategy. But him swinging back and forth on a chair? Let him do that at home where he can crack his head open without complaint and then you can peacefully take him to hospital.

Wow I think you're getting some really mean responses here Op. I'm curious as to how many currently have a 3 year old. Certainly not the ones who so helpfully made the groundbreaking suggestion that you simply tell him to stop! Yes because 3 year old are so rational...
I think the other person should have kept quiet and I'm sure you were doing your best, children can't learn how to behave when they're out if they're not given the opportunity, everyone has to start by learning somewhere

So your child was playing in the eating area instead of the play area. You're unreasonable.

Our child sat down at 3 or was walked to the play area and they played there, if they ran around or was not sat down we left

They learn how to behave by the parents before they cause trouble not after, and I am saying this not at the op just normally

Totally agree. 👋👋👋👋👋

Exactly. My mother would not take me to restaurants until I had reached the age where she could be sure that I would behave myself. As a result, when I was finally allowed to go, I regarded it as a tremendous treat and felt very grown up - and I wouldn't have thought of acting out in case I lost the privilege.

You're both being unreasonable. She shouldn't be commenting pointless statements.

But you're also unreasonable because a child friendly restaurant with a play area is still a restaurant. Running around the seating area is a hazard to staff and your child. The play area is for playing, the seating area is for sitting. You'd be the first to complain if your son bumped into a staff member and they spilt hot soup or something on him🤷🏽‍♀️.

Very situation dependent but if this had happened to me I would have politely but firmly asked the lady to please keep out of it and you'll be able to deal with his behaviour much more effectively.
Kids can be unpredictable and us parents don't always act perfectly when we are under pressure and feeling under the spotlight.