To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

[Goldenrainbows]

We are away at the moment and went to eat last night in a family pub with an indoor play area which seemed to get my ds (3) a bit hyper. He’s normally really good in restaurants but was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating. I was doing my best to deal with it.

It really wasn’t helped by a woman sitting at the table behind us who kept interfering and shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ every time he was swinging on his chair and making comments about him and us. I don’t think it was coming from a bad place but AIBU in thinking it really wasn’t appropriate? It was stressful and meant we couldn’t deal with DS properly as she was taking our attention. (By the way ds was far from the only badly behaved child there.)

And you would go to a family pub with an indoor play centre for your special treat would you?

This really.
I'd be utterly furious if I was trying to enjoy a meal out with all of this going on, with little being done about it. 😒

Sure they did. And if they did we left. They learnt really quickly that that would happen do they stopped. If they didn't we left again

@birdglasspen2

I'm pretty sure the people saying you should just leave have never actually sat down and ordered dinner, then got up without finishing and left a restaurant on account of a child being a child.

Here I am. Another one telling you we bloody well did. Parties, dinners. Usually we would have eating done if it or got it parcelled up and taken with us but 100%. It's called parenting. They learn really quickly that the fun stops when they kick off

I took my kids out with nursery friends,they were all noisy and overexcited. We left early.cut my losses it was too much noise & showing off.

In the old days (pre-mobiles), me and my husband used to reckon we were doing well if we got to the dessert course, and often ended up missing it as about an hour was the amount of time our children could sit nicely and draw at the table! So we'd eat starters, mains and flee and have an ice cream on the way home!

My DH and i gave up on eating together in pubs and restaurants as soon as they could walk, we gave it a few months of taking it in turns to eat but didn't enjoy it, the kids didn't enjoy it either unless their was a big garden to run around, so what's the point?

I get you're on holiday but can you do anything about the meals? Your dcs only little and I'm pretty sure everyone has been there with kids not sitting down to dinner, he's not being naughty imo, it's typical behaviour. But sometimes it's dangerous, and if you're already stressed I get you don't need another voice in your head reacting.

Depending on what DC hits on the way down throw in the possibility of a few hours at A&E..

Yes.To keep things light I didn’t go down the HI a route with admission for monitoring. Crying child, upset mum, guests worried by what ifs. Staff completing accident form.

Yes, OP has described her both shrieking and squealing. Sounds more like the sort of sounds her three year old would have been making.

Shrieking in this sort of situation is itself dangerous. It’s not a reasonable thing to do and it does make things more difficult for everyone else. But if DS swung on the chair or ran off more than once without you being instantly there to stop it, it’s your parenting that’s the real problem here. And while shrieking is distracting, a child putting themselves and others into danger should be enough to distract you from that annoyance.

When both me and DB fell off bench seats at home, I cracked my head open which needed stitches and my brother did the same which required stitches too, or he cut his eyebrow area, which left a scar. This is on a normal floor, not a great height. This was also after DM repeatedly telling us don’t swing on the benches back and forth which we of course ignored until we got hurt. Even after that, I was careful but DB wasnt, until he got hurt. If a child falls hard from a chair the least they’d be lucky to escape with is a bruise, next concussion etc. You can’t control in which direction or how hard they’ll fall. I was out with SIL recently in a museum cafe, her 4.5 month old baby was placed on a padded corner seat, sharp edge of table which luckily he wasn’t near to hit himself on and she would never allow that but you can see how accidents could happen with more boisterous kids.

The shrieking would irritate me. However, if she continually saw a child about to fall and she’s concerned for the child (most people aren’t heartless bitches) then shrieking might be in order. Plus if she’s had a couple of drinks maybe she’s more animated than usual. I’d rather someone shrieked though than have a badly hurt or scalded child.

A ‘silly’ (your words) child who can’t behave in a restaurant is too young to take for a meal out. It’s that simple, really. Selfish of you to allow your child to disturb other people who are paying to enjoy their own meals.

The crucial detail - exactly HOW op was dealing with it - is conveniently missing. People can't possibly comment fairly without knowing all the important bits.

And the restaurant woman may have been speaking sternly or whatever but 'shrieking'? Really?

Going against the grain here OP but I think she was unreasonable to interfere. I would never say anything to another parent unless I thought they were completely unaware and it was dangerous.

meant we couldn’t deal with DS properly as she was taking our attention
This is just nonsense, you know it is. Give over.

Shrieking isn’t simply annoying. It’s dangerous. Shrieking isn’t “in order” when someone’s in a precarious situation because it makes the person in that situation more likely to fall/lose concentration/etc. Speaking up calmly, raised voice if it’s noisy, moving to intercept - all potentially helpful. Shrieking or other distracting sounds - more likely to lead to a hurt child. Drinking isn’t a good excuse for poor behaviour, even on Mother’s day. (But equally, that applies to OP and lack of control of her child).

@jellyfishbubbles ignore me. It's the EU I was thinking of 🤦🏼‍♀️

That's assuming the claims she was shrieking or squealing have any basis in reality, of course ... maybe she just (gasp) raised her voice to make herself heard over the general noise level and, probably, the noise OP's child was making?

Sure. Or she could have got on the table and danced the Can Can. But since the only one who was there was the OP and nothing else she’s said contradicts her claim of shrieking, coming up with an alternative scenario that would make the whole thing totally different is baseless.

True enough, but I'm inclined to think OP's claim is baseless, too. "Shrieking" sounds unlikely (ditto squealing) and it's a term only thrown at women, which makes me side-eye it even more. It still comes down to OP's child being disruptive enough, and endangering himself enough, even in such a setting, to draw another diner's attention and concern, and OP trying to blame the other diner instead of controlling or removing her child until he calmed down.

I agree, but that still doesn’t mean OP should waste money by not eating an already paid for meal because her toddler is running around. Who’s to say he wouldn’t calm down when the food arrived?

The woman sounds like an over excited idiot. She should have minded her own business

Shrieking does tend to be thrown at women and children a lot more than men because it indicates higher tones. If it had been a man it might have been “barking”, “bellowing” or just yelling.

Personally I’ve heard plenty of women (and children) shrieking. I’ve occasionally shrieked myself. I don’t find the idea at all unbelievable. And the OPs child being badly behaved certainly doesn’t make it any less likely to have happened.

You can of course, make up your own “alternative facts”, they may well have the popularity of Trump’s, but also the validity.