To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

[Goldenrainbows]

We are away at the moment and went to eat last night in a family pub with an indoor play area which seemed to get my ds (3) a bit hyper. He’s normally really good in restaurants but was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating. I was doing my best to deal with it.

It really wasn’t helped by a woman sitting at the table behind us who kept interfering and shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ every time he was swinging on his chair and making comments about him and us. I don’t think it was coming from a bad place but AIBU in thinking it really wasn’t appropriate? It was stressful and meant we couldn’t deal with DS properly as she was taking our attention. (By the way ds was far from the only badly behaved child there.)

So speculating on the possibility that OP wasn't giving an accurate account (hardly unlikely given her responses since) means I'm doing a Trump? Give me a break.

What is it about OP’s comments that makes the idea that the woman was shrieking in the situation so unlikely to you? Why would she even have noticed the woman if what she was doing wasn’t distracting? What would have been the point of OP’s post if the situatio wasn’t the way she claimed?

Unless the OP has contradicted themselves or they have made a claim that is impossible or difficult for it to be true, speculating that what they have said is made up is pointless and merely used to enable posters to pile on criticism or be used as a baseless way to shore up a different opinion. So pretty much exactly “a Trump”, yes.

Weak excuse, very weak excuse.

This thread isn't going quite the way you thought, is it?

Except that when someone goes to a zoo they should expect animal shit.

No-one going out for a meal should have to expect badly behaved children!!! It is someone's business if a child is disruptive in a restaurant. There are ways of dealing with children playing up and good parents know this and act.

No, it is not at all about a 3 year old being a 3 year old.

It is about a parent either not understanding what 'being a parent' means, or about a parent not 'caring enough about their child' to start actually parenting it. I think, and hope, that the OP falls within the first category, because if she takes to heart what the majority of people are saying here, then she will know to start finding out about what being a parent really means and entails.

I've been to several restaurants with play areas. The kids stay in the play areas and play. If they do come out their parents generally take them back and stay with them, not let them go backwards and forwards at will. Also, how was this child swinging on his seat in a play area?

Right. It makes no sense that the woman's comment stopped her from parenting.

Except if I go to a family friendly restaurant I expect to see the odd child going off on one. If I go to a more upmarket establishment I would not. That's basic common sense.

But shrieking can also be alerting someone to something about to happen. I do think it's irritating but not necessarily dangerous. And as I said before, if the child is about to fall, well would people rather they fell and no one alerted them or the person kept quiet and then they fell? This woman may have spoken calmly to the woman but been ignored (and OP chooses not to put this here). I mean it sounds better if she writes that some random woman is shrieking, doesn't it?

Assume you wouldn't go to the place with the soft play then.

It doesnt matter if it's soft play or a Michelin restaurant kids running around is dangerous for staff, customers kids themselves

If an adult dropped someone onto a child who would the parents blame?

Either way justifying 'it's soft play kids run riot' is not the answer

I get you OP. Sadly on AIBU a lot of posters make up their own narrative and here they've decided for themselves that you saying your DS was playing up but that you were dealing with it, that this means your DS was shouting, screaming, disturbing everyone and you were doing absolutely nothing about it 🙄. 3yr olds sometimes do act up but that does not give that nosey woman a free pass to stick her nose in and try telling you what to do with your own child.
My DC has always been good in public but I do know that it often happens at that age and removing them from the room doesn't always guarantee they'll suddenly behave.
I also think posters have purposely ignored the fact that you said this place was a family restaurant not the bloody Ritz! So it's hardly unheard of to occasionally hear some whining from a tired child

It was in a soft play! 🙄

He shouldn't have been running round in a place where hot food and drink are being carried. IMO if he was that overexcited it would have made more sense to take him back to the accommodation to eat.

Why you comparing your dc to others. .you deal with your dc. If he can't sit you take him out for ten mins instead of ruining other people's meals. Yes it means your or dh dinner gets cold but that's life. All parents done that. Yabu. Swinging back on the chair is very dangerous and you as the parent should have stopped that! Your dc is three and didn't see risk.

Maybe the child was closer to the lady in question than you, so she felt obliged to try catch your child if they did start to fall, this may have been what annoyed her

So to put it simply - your child was misbehaving, running around, climbing on furniture etc whilst other people were trying to eat quietly?

You should have taken your child out at the first sign of misbehaving. You then give him one more chance to sit still and eat and if he doesn't you go home.

He'll soon learn.

I'd have said a lot more than 'he'll fall'.

I wondered this too.

“But i do accept we shouldn’t have taken DS, as I can’t control him at all so we reliant on his cooperation which obviously wasn’t happening.”

so knowing you cannot control your kid at all by your own admission you thought it was ok to take him out foerlunch on mothers day - a rare occasion for many mums to relax and be treated and ruin it for others. - which clearly you did for at least this woman. If you cannot rely on a kid behaving in public they should not be in public in a confined space. Do better.

Omg these replies are frustrating. Have people any idea what its like to parent a 3 year old? Mine is wonderfully well behaved 95% of the time but like any other 3 year old he has his moments. You are away and have chosen to eat at a family restaurant with a play centre, if other diners don't want to be bothered by children then they should choose a different restaurant without a bloody play centre perhaps?? As long as you were dealing with it you've done nothing wrong and I'd find the woman's behaviour and comments really unhelpful and unnecessary. Parenting young children is stressful enough without dealing with people like that aswell! As a mother of 2 small children I've often found myself avoiding places for fear of my children 'playing up' or 'bothering' others which has led to me being quite isolated at times. Kids will be kids and I've yet to meet a young child who is well-behaved 100% of the time. You're also away so usual routines have gone out the window which is bound to impact your little one in some way. Hope you enjoy the rest of your time and don't encounter this woman again!

She was in the right. It is your child and your problem to deal with it. You should have taken them out of the restaurant to calm down, had they not calmed down then you should have left and gone home.

you've come to the wrong place if you think the parents on mumsnet aren’t going to tell you, you’re a terrible parent for not keeping your child under control 😂. But seriously people should mind there own business it’s a family restaurant with a soft play of course kids are going to be hyped up.

I agree with the others I’d have taken my child outside.

However on her part if she goes somewhere with a play area there’s going to be kids.

I think I’d have said to her that I would appreciate her not to interfer.

Woman speaking up about little shit running riot ruins parents plan to completely ignore it.

More news at 10.

Seems there are two types of options on these family friendly pubs.

One side are those thinking the whole pub and all patrons that visit should realise that by family friendly if it does contain a play area internally that it isn’t just that specific area where play/running freely is to be contained, its the whole pub so kids can run riot and if you don't like it don't go, that you should choose to dine else where.

Then there's those that maybe feel the area set out as a play area is set out for kids to play/have fun and run around in so all good, seperate places. While the restaurant side itself where the dining tables, chairs, cutlery and condiments are placed is for sitting and dining, eating...not sat in silence but at least being able to sit chatting as is done while out enjoy a meal.

Maybe there's something in the if you don't like it don't go side.
Take your buisness elsewhere but unfortunately once those diners that just want to enjoy a meal, mainly regulars, stop going and the establishment runs into funding issues which will be the first to close the restaurant side or play area?