Mothers day

[Winniethepooh88]

I'm 5 months pregnant with already two children, Mother's Day coming up and every Sunday I normally cook but as I knew Mother's Day was coming I booked a table and even paid deposit for us all.
today I found out that his favourite football team are playing the same time I booked this meal 5 weeks ago.
he's now said we have to cancel and he will go food shopping now so I can cook us a roast tomorrow instead.

let's not forgot the fact that I've never had a Mother's Day card in 7 years or even a bunch of £3 flowers.

aibu for being annoyed?

My partner has just said take the fuse out of the TV plug(s)

The way he has treated you whilst dealing with a major loss is disgusting. Stay strong and get lawyered up x

Why? So she could accept coming second to a silly game? Fuck the fixtures, this is her day.

She checked with her dickhead of a husband. Is it on her to make sure that he's not being half-arsed when he agrees to something and double check that there are no fixtures/lads trips away/family birthdays/he might need his arse wiping?

Frankly, I couldn't live with someone who I needed to double check all their commitments to make sure he could fulfil commitments he'd made. What a waste of space.

I would divorce a man this mean spirited and selfish!!! No way!! Ick!

Never cook for him ever again op. What a prize prick

It's a silly game to you but not to a lot of people

I'm not excusing his behaviour in general though and I can certainly see why the OP is considering her future with him.

No game should take priority over your pregnant grieving wife and mother of your two children. Any game is silly in comparison to the well being of a loved one.

Yet I bet if OP wanted to do something without him on Father’s Day you and others would object.

OP, in the gentlest way, you are being unreasonable. Your husband is a selfish shit and you have put up with this for 7 years.

I think you are unreasonable to have more children with him because really you should be looking to end this marriage. You’re taken for granted and it looks like you’ve tolerated this poor treatment for 7 years.

I know you’re pregnant and the thought of leaving is scary but I would be preparing now to leave at time when it suits you.

In the meantime, tell him to do one and have a lovely
Mother’s Day lunch with your DC. Leave him to cook his own.

Why on earth would I see anything to object to?

Agree with Snugglemonkey. Whether it's a 'silly game' or not, he had a prior arrangement. Any decent person would have prioritised OP given her circumstances but if not that, then even a sub-standard partner would realise that prior arrangement means a conversation with the other person to explain and ask them if the lunch could be changed.

Not present it as a fait accompli and tell the OP she has to cook. No.

It's not as if he's actually playing so his attendance really isn't needed. I can't imagine putting a game, however 'important', ahead of somebody I loved who I'd already made arrangements with.

He needs divorcing. Onwards and upwards, OP, you will live a happier and more stable life without this twat.

He could have accommodated a meal and looking after her and still been able to spend a couple of hours watching the match if he'd cared enough to be on the ball and plan properly. The match isn't on all day.

And for the avoidance of doubt, if he failed to plan properly and committed to the meal he should go to the meal.

However I can't understand why he didn't plan properly in the first place.

DON'T cancel. Go alone with the children (take your mum if you've got one), enjoy your meal. Fuck him, let him do the shopping and cooking if he's bothered.

I don't disagree, ilovesooty but he didn't, he made an arrangement and OP doesn't deserve to just be 'slotted in'. He's not even doing that.

Unfortunately the OP's mother passed away this year, as she mentioned upthread.

I wouldn't go out with the kids. I'd see if any of my friends were free to go to lunch - maybe someone else who's lost their mum, or who lives away from them. And I'd leave the kids at home for him to feed and look after. Sure he'll be able to catch the odd bit of football...

@Winniethepooh88 is he going to the game or just watching it on tv?? if he is just watching it on tv, cancel the restaurant and book a hotel for one night instead. walk out at 12md and leave the kids with him to look after and cook for. return home when you want on monday!

I broadly agree with you there but the match is only on for two hours. He could have given the OP his time and care throughout the rest of the day. It would be the match that would be slotted in if he'd planned properly and exercised some responsibility and compassion.

This

Ridiculous. Tell him you're going anyway. And he can have the kids .... either invite a friend or relative OR enjoy a silent and peaceful dinner for one. That would be amazing!!!

Why have you continued to get pregnant with a man like this after 7+ years of this behaviour from him?

If people bothered to read the whole thread they'd see that the OP has lost her mother.

This is also my experience. Hooligans

How is that remotely helpful?

I'm a serious football supporter. I'm not a hooligan and neither is my football supporting friend.