Mothers day

[Winniethepooh88]

I'm 5 months pregnant with already two children, Mother's Day coming up and every Sunday I normally cook but as I knew Mother's Day was coming I booked a table and even paid deposit for us all.
today I found out that his favourite football team are playing the same time I booked this meal 5 weeks ago.
he's now said we have to cancel and he will go food shopping now so I can cook us a roast tomorrow instead.

let's not forgot the fact that I've never had a Mother's Day card in 7 years or even a bunch of £3 flowers.

aibu for being annoyed?

This, but make this the year that you don't accept the shite. Go out as planned. He pays. If he chooses football, he is being a twat. You have every right to be annoyed. Of course he should pay for the meal. No way would I shop or cook.

Though honestly, I would not be arsed with him.

I just can’t fathom this. I wouldn’t accept this behaviour for a second. It wouldn’t happen to me because 7 years ago I would have gone ape shit at not getting a card.

I would go to the meal. I’d send him a picture of you and your children round the table having a lovely time. I’d probably be sticking my middle finger up and smiling but appreciate many might find that infantile. Along with the picture I’d send the caption ‘You truly are one of life’s absolute selfish CUNTS’.

Then I’d draft this today and send it 10 mins after the picture.

REASONS WHY MARK IS A SELFISH CUNT

1. Never EVER had a Mother’s Day card
2. Booked and paid for (myself) a MD lunch, Mark didn’t show.
3. Cook every Sunday, Mark wants me to cook on MD too, so he can watch Man U
4. My dear Mum died weeks ago, first MD without her. Some kind of love and affection would have been appreciated.
5. Carrying Mark’s child, a day off would have been nice.

He sounds awful. Maybe you’ll stay with him, maybe you won’t. But personally I would go beyond nuclear over this. Does he have his own Mother? Does he get her a card. Does she know her son is a nasty prick?

• Delete Mark / Man U as appropriate. I have no idea who is playing tmrw. My DH is also a big football fan, but he’s a bigger fan of his wife and children so we’d trump anything.

I’m so sorry for your loss OP and I totally get it as last Mothers’ Day was the first one without my lovely mum and it was hard. For everyone having a go at the OP saying she knew what he was like they are missing the point. Maybe previously he hasn’t done anything for Mothers’ Day but this year is different as the OP obviously wants some support and for him to show he cares especially as she is pregnant too. It’s not just about Mother’s Day it’s about supporting her through a very tough time emotionally which he is not doing. I take it he hasn’t suffered the bereavement of a close family member or he would have some insight into how you might be feeling. The fact he hasn’t apologised profusely and offered to cook you a meal before the match or to take you out for lunch before the match speaks volumes. I wouldn’t rush to divorce him but I would have a frank conversation about how his lack of care makes you feel and if he still didn’t get it then think again. It’s more than just a Mother’s Day lunch it’s being unsupported at your most vulnerable.

Mmm nice husband 🙄, thank my lucky stars I never married a selfish prick like this. Sod off for the day by yourself and treat yourself for the day or take the kids with you if they'll have a fun time just doing something without him. Then invest in some contraception or better still find yourself someone better,.life is way to short for living your life with someone who treats you like your invisible, this isn't just about mother's dad, I doubt he's ever done anything nice for you or said anything special. So tired.of reading posts on here with people stuck in dead end relationships, you're worth so much more.

I presume that this thread is authentic, but there are quite a few 'rage bait' threads on here, had never heard that term before.

I've never really been bothered about Mother's Day with cards as such maybe because I know what he's like and always accepted it but this year was just different. Especially carrying a child while my world has stopped since losing my mom.
i completely agree with the reasons

but also yes he has his own mom, I've brought her a card and a lovely present also took it round this morning to her before all this had happened.

I think things have been getting at me for some time and this is one step too far. I feel as if he can support his team but can not support his wife.

@Winniethepooh88 If you get on well with MIL - could you ask her if she wants to go with you to the restaurant tomorrow? Would feel nicer if you had another adult's company and to help amuse the kids?

My husband is a football fan too - and I often compromise about things so that he can watch. But he does the same for me and will record an important match if there is something else it clashes with ( making sure that he doesn't find out the score before he gets to watch it). He would absolutely not expect for me to cook or go out on my own on Mother's Day

So you’ve bought his own Mother a card and a lovely present and taken it round to her? Even though you lost your own Mum? Jesus it gets worse. Why do you do this shit for him? I just wouldn’t do that! You’re constantly enabling him to be a selfish ass hole. I hope you don’t have daughters OP, your DH treats the women closest to him with complete disregard.

Before you leave for the meal I would be tempted to take the remote control for the TV. I would make sure come hell or high water he misses that football match. I mean this with the greatest respect but wise up! He treats you like shit. And he really is a shit Dad and husband.

Go our with the kids yourself, take your own mum or MIL if you get on with her. Enjoy!

Are you joking? If he's so die hard do you not think he would know before the day before the match when something has been booked and paid for

So sorry OP, I know tomorrow will be terrible for you so screw your husband and go have a nice dinner with your kids. If he's not happy then who cares as it sounds like he has no consideration for you. Its easy for everyone to say things like what else do you expect etc but sometimes it takes a hard experience to show their level of support to make you reconsider things. You deserve better

I'd have expected him to know too. I can't understand why he didn't. I can only assume he knew but didn't care enough to realise that it conflicted with mothers' day and a booked meal. That's why knowing he's like that I'd have checked myself. I don't actually think it's the OP's responsibility and she shouldn't have had to book her own meal.

Do you realise you're married to an arsehole and his behaviour isn't normal?

That's what I thought.

My husband is making us all a roast tomorrow and very normal for us to share cooking.

I hope he supports Liverpool because they’re going to get thrashed🙌🏻🩵

Everyone saying for her to go our herself with children...that's not always that fun on your own depending on their ages!

Just say no?!
Why have you put up with this for 7 years?

Take a taxi to the restaurant with a friend who is free and leave the kids at home with him!

Tomorrow is my first Mother’s Day without my mum, I understand how awful it is, it’s so raw, my dad is passed also and I remember him with love but for a long time my memories were that of sadness, I am missing my mum so much and the sadness is overwhelming. I feel for you, in no place should you have checked the football fixtures before booking your table, this Mother’s Day should trump everything.
Definitely go for your meal, although that is not the point as I am sure it would be easier with another adult there also have a think about your relationship, do you see a future with him.

God OP he sounds awful awful awful. Get rid. This man won't change.

I would book myself into a spa for the day and leave him with the kids. Or if money is tight, at the very least I would go for a very long walk or to the cinema!

If you had not bought his mum a card and present would he have done so? I would tell him straight that he should take the children to get a card/present if they are too young to go themselves. Hope you enjoy your meal out well done at least for refusing to cook.

Nope. Not acceptable behaviour.

My DH is working away for the next couple of weeks so we had our Mother's Day last weekend. There was a very big football game on and he had a ticket.

He sold his ticket and took me and his mum out for lunch instead. He watched the second half at home with his dad after dropping me and his mum at a local wine bar.

I'm glad he's teaching our son to put others first sometimes.

Because men can make roast dinners.

Also big hugs OP.
The first Mother's Day without your own mum is tough. I get it ❤️