Mothers day

[Winniethepooh88]

I'm 5 months pregnant with already two children, Mother's Day coming up and every Sunday I normally cook but as I knew Mother's Day was coming I booked a table and even paid deposit for us all.
today I found out that his favourite football team are playing the same time I booked this meal 5 weeks ago.
he's now said we have to cancel and he will go food shopping now so I can cook us a roast tomorrow instead.

let's not forgot the fact that I've never had a Mother's Day card in 7 years or even a bunch of £3 flowers.

aibu for being annoyed?

OP!!! Absolutely fu*king not!!! please please please do not listen to that man🤢 DO NOT cancel the meal , if he doesn't want to come that's on him. Do you have someone else to replace him? If not, I would still go. Take the kids and enjoy yourselves this post has made me so sad. The way you're pregnant too!! OP please go tomorrow if he doesn't want to come, still go with the kids. Do not cook for this selfish man and when it comes around to Father's Day don't acknowledge it, make it look like just any other day. YANBU for being annoyed... & Happy Mother's Day to you xx

I would tell him he is going with you to the meal, and getting you a card and flowers. If not I would tell him you will be getting divorced.

I'd definitely go without him (and put the bill on his card) and let him sort his own lunch. My partner is a massive football fan but he always skips the match if it it's a special occasion for me. Likewise, I always check the fixtures before booking anything for him. It's called compromising - it sounds like your OH needs a lesson in it.

It's funny that for ages I wasn't bothered about getting anything for Mother's Day, however after covid and homeschooling my son on a daily basis through the many lockdowns and always thinking of others during that time, I got really mad when that year my partner told me to 'get myself something for Mother's Day,' when I was dashing into the corner shop for some bits and pieces. Given that you are heavily pregnant, are already raising two of his children and seem to do all the cooking anyway, you're absolutely right to deserve more.

I will add this is my first Mother's Day without my own mother as she passed away in January this year

Football fanatics are selfish jerks

i thought it would be different as it's my first Mother's Day without my mom as she passed away two months ago. And yes he's always been thoughtless just was hoping things would've been slightly different because since my moms passed away I've been dealing with grief

Take your children out to the meal, with a friend if you have one would like to come. Enjoy the meal and have a serious think about whether you want to remain with a man who holds football in higher esteem than the mother of his children.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Please go for the meal, and i’d stop cooking for your husband altogether.

@Winniethepooh88 sorry for your loss 💐
Just talk to him about how you are feeling - don't keep it all inside of you.

Surely you're not going to just say "ok" and cook him a nice meal whilst he watches the game on mother's day?! If yes, then more fool you.

Did you check the fixtures before booking the table? When did he find out about the booking?

If you didn't check and he's only just found out about the meal I can see why he doesn't want to go. That doesn't excuse his general uncaring behaviour though and his expectation that you should be cooking.

Go without him and don't do any cooking.

He sounds like a selfish twat!! He can’t miss one game of football to have a Mother’s Day meal with his family?!
Go to the meal with your children OP and don’t cook anything for him. You deserve better

This .

No im not going to cook a meal for him, but he thinks my actions of being upset and refusing to cook is unacceptable.

Why would he change.
All of that is about you.
Not about him. And he's clearly such a self-centred POS that he was never going to change for any of that.

This is it. This is all you're going to get.
What's your birthday, valentines day anniversary, Christmas like for you?

Is he any good the rest of the time?

Because you're 3 kids in so your hope of anyone decent treating you right on Mother's day is unlikely.
.you need to really look at that man. Look at what your life is without him and work out which is better...

I asked him 5 weeks ago a time and the place he said it's fine and to book it, that's exactly what I've done and paid deposit because this restaurant is on a 'nicer' side.

hes only just realised and Mother's Day is tomorrow even though I've been reminding him for the past 5 weeks.

Stick to the plan and go without him. Do not cook him a meal. He has chosen football over family. It’s completely unacceptable and you shouldn’t be enabling this behaviour. Go out with the kids for your meal and he sorts his own food. Don’t do anything for Father’s day as he clearly doesn’t value it.

I'd still go with the children.

Be firm and tell him you are all going out for the meal

I'm going to assume it's the Liverpool v Man City game.
The fixture recently changed.

This booking happened before the change.

I'm so sorry about your mum. He sounds awful.

I’d stop cooking for him full stop. Feed yourself and your kids and don’t leave him a crumb.

I love sport and fully understand the desire to watch an important match. It's not real life though.

In that case he should have realised that the meal conflicted with the match and if he wanted to watch the match he shouldn't have given you the go ahead to book it.