Or dh expecting normal service

[Whatevenishapprning]

Ds 4 spiked a 40.4° fever out of nowhere on Tuesday night. I gave him calpol and ibuprofen over the course of an hour but it took til 1.30am for it to start to come down. Little sleep for either of us because he was tossing and turning, obviously uncomfortable for the rest of the night as it was still high 38.
Wednesday night I slept with him to keep an eye and he was OK, but he wriggles alot and isnt great to sleep next to. Thursday night fevers back so another Tuesday night. Last night was the worst, he's got a horrible cough now it's making him gag so he's vomitted 4 times overnight.

This morning dh has football. He's the manager of an amateur men's team. I asked him before 7 to cancel or get someone to come get the equipment. He's point blank refusing and says he is going.

Aibu? I've honestly had 12 hours sleep over the last 4 nights. I'm so tired I feel light headed and he's not showing any consideration. I don't know if I'm not thinking straight because of it. He is leaving before 9 which means I have an hour to sleep. Except I'm so angry at his disregard I'll probably get none. He has backshift later so means I'll be parenting all day and no chance of rest.

FFS because you were being treated like shit. Don’t you want better for your daughters?

Yes. Too busy being a martyr 🙄

No, just no. A child who is susceptible to convulsions can have them with a temp of 38. Where are you getting this medical advice from?

As pp said, watch the child, not the number. A child with bacterial meningitis can have a temp of 38, whilst a child with a viral cold can have a temp of 40. A temperature is not a sign of a serious illness.

It sounds like a bigger issue then in that he doesnt see himself as a parent needing to step in as its all your job!
I think its a much bigger issue than football and perhaps a conversation needs to be had about why for him parenting is optional?

No 39rule for ages 4 ours are 3 and 2and had a nightmare week of temps,sick and chesty coughing but looking better last 24hrs

What? 😂

He wouldnt hear from me for the rest of the day.
Or tomorrow. Or the next.
And then he would hear from my solicitor.
This man is a selfish bastard. A grade a selfish bastard
Im not a whinger. I just have standards.

I'm an oldie and I disagree with those who say we just got on with it and didn't whinge. My social circle definitely whinged if husbands didn't help (1980s) and the generation before didn't have that problem because although husbands weren't expected to help much (1950s), there was almost always a granny, aunty, sister or cousin nearby to step in.

If I had barely slept for 4 nights and my DH had gone off to cricket or rugby (his things) leaving me with a sick child I'd have packed and gone home to my parents for a fortnight.

As soon as he walks back in - you take yourself to bed.

He's a piece of shit.
He had two days off work where he could have ensured you got some rest but he is so selfish he doesn't give a shit you've not slept.

That isn't the reason. It's because the OP is completely exhausted.

I'm just glad I'm not a man. The amount of moaning makes me wonder why anybody gets married or even has a partner when according to MN they are nearly all totally useless.

He would just let the kids bother OP anyway so there's no point. He doesn't value her as a mother, wife or human tbh.

This one is!

I've just read your post about his parting shot op.

This man is HORRIBLE op.

I'm guessing the only reason you haven't divorced is because you think you're doing it for the dc and you're scared. On the first point - this is awful long term for the kids to see. They are learning terrible things about men's and women's roles in society and it will have bad negative consequences for them. On to the second, that's normal, but focus on how much nicer yours and your children lives will be without him in them.

🤡

Some of you really expect absolutely NOTHING from men do you?

That was my first thought as well. So many men are so shit, but so many women excuse and enable it.

OP, I'm sorry your husband is such a dick.

Can't decide whoe the biggest cunt is - this 'D'H or the posters supporting his lazy misogynistic arse.

Honestly op, and I’m genuinely not saying this lightly, I’d be done. I’d be texting him to say you’re done and that he’ll have to work his hobby around having the children on ‘his time’ because that’s how divorce works. He has no right to leave you in such a situation, exhausted and managed a sick child with additional needs alone whilst he plays football with some mates. It’s pathetic, and he’s pathetic.

Yep, some of the comments on here are awful.

I mean, imagine expecting a man to actually look after his sick, feverish child and give his wife a break?

This particular man sounds like a lazy, selfish and uncaring shit. If it offends you that women point this out and urge OP not to put up with it, tough!

Theres is no problem being a man, they just need to behave like decent humans. And actually, decent men are over praised on here and everywhere IRL. I wouldn’t mind being a man at all!

I just checked the username though....I’m not surprised to see it’s you. 🙄🙄🙄

I know it’s not the thing to bring up posters history, but my god you are even more on one today than usual. More and more men are facing being alone because of behaviour like in the op, more and more women are waking up are realising that this shitty, last century mentality that many men still hold of ‘women being the primary child carer’ is just not washing. So you feel sorry for these Neanderthals all you want, the rest of us will see them for the waste of space they evidently are.

Why did you not point out his me me and nobody but me matters attitude at this point? So yes I’d be fuming by now.

You can bet if he caught a cold he'd be dying on his death men. Men are totally pathetic sometimes.

Missing the point of the thread but if there’s people taking their kids to A&E every time they have a temp of 39 no wonder the waiting times are so long