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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this BBC 500 words story deeply unsettling?

181 replies

shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:14

Cellmate by Olive C.

For twelve years, this has been happening. 624 weeks ago, Cellmate was first launched. Today was my call up. Nobody knows what it is, just that everyone who comes out is changed somehow. No one speaks about it. Whether because they can't or won't, I don't know. A two-year military programme. Compulsory. All fifteen-year-old boys.

That was me. Today.

I took the bus to C.O.H.P. Centre of Human Pride. "Where strong journeys begin", they say. 'We'll see about that,' I thought. My heart was flickering fast, palms sweating like the condensation on the bus window. In I went.

There were thousands of us. Lined up in neat rows of hundreds, numbered one to one ten-thousand. And there I stood, in the midst of it all, number 4579. Gradually, guards herded us each into tens of thousands of individual cells, stacked on top of one another. The door locked. I heard a curious chirp from behind me.

I whipped round, waddling over to the cradle in the back of the room. There, a small human-replica robot lay, curled into a tiny ball, making snuffling sounds. There was a little bubble around its mouth, and it opened its big eyes. The robot smiled, it was a child's smile, completely and utterly real. A speaker in the corner of the room announced: "You may now name your child." What?!!
Humans haven't fraternized with robots for decades. They have been at war for years. So, what kind of military programme was this?

I poked the tiny thing and contemplated for a moment what to name it. Hate pooled in my head. It took me only a second. In the floating bar above the robot's cradle, I typed with quick and sharp precision: Laila. My sister's name.
The name was accepted and the hovering bar disappeared.

I stared suspiciously down at "Laila" and settled her back down in her cot cautiously. I didn't want to set off any sort of alarm they might have put on her. Hastily turning away, I paced the small room. There was a twist to this for sure. I just had to find out what. I sat on the edge of the rickety bed in the corner. And she began to cry.

Over the next 24 months, I was kept in tight isolation with Laila, feeding her, raising her. First following orders from the speaker, but then because I began to love to. She started to call me "Dadda" and I marvelled how intricate and compassionate her coding was. She was kind and courageous, never doubted herself. She grew like any human child. She began to remind me of her namesake. The girl who lost her life to the robot army. Laila.

On that final day, the speaker clicked and that rough voice announced, "your order is to kill it." A carboard box was slipped through a crack in the metal door. I rushed over and opened it with frantically shaking fingers. Inside...
Was a knife.

Honestly, it reminds me of the hitler youth caring for and then killing dogs. Just overwhelmingly disturbing, and not physically possible to be written by a 9 yr old.

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shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:16

Honestly, I find it truly disturbing. I cried for a good 10 mins after reading it.

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shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:21

ChatGpt's opinion:

Yes, this story could be considered disturbing due to its exploration of themes such as forced military service, human-robot relations, and the emotional attachment that develops between the protagonist and the robot child named Laila.

Even robots are disturbed by what 9 year olds write nowadays...

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Garlicking · 08/03/2024 21:24

Wow! A nine-year-old would know the words and could have the idea. It's extremely skilled writing, though, very compact. That's difficult for an adult; maybe the child had an editor (or is a prodigy!)

I think your point was the point. The story says humans are in a long war against robots, and this episode is billed as military training. It's about bonding, compassion, love, and the forcible destruction of all that in service of war.

shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:26

Garlicking · 08/03/2024 21:24

Wow! A nine-year-old would know the words and could have the idea. It's extremely skilled writing, though, very compact. That's difficult for an adult; maybe the child had an editor (or is a prodigy!)

I think your point was the point. The story says humans are in a long war against robots, and this episode is billed as military training. It's about bonding, compassion, love, and the forcible destruction of all that in service of war.

I still find it very disturbing, shocking and would absolutely not read it to DD9 or even DS12. Let alone assume that such a small child comprehended such themes and wrote this.

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Wenttomowameadow · 08/03/2024 21:27

I'd be trotting my 9 year old off for a psych evaluation if she wrote that and wonder wtf she has been exposed to and where.

ssd · 08/03/2024 21:28

The Scottish Gangsta is brilliant!

shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:28

ssd · 08/03/2024 21:28

The Scottish Gangsta is brilliant!

It is isnt it!

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saz85 · 08/03/2024 21:29

I have to say, I'm wondering if the 9 year old used GPT to write it in the first place.

It's very well written but yes, disturbing to say the least!

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BathTangle · 08/03/2024 21:31

I'm wondering if the 9 year old has seen Kingsman? It's reminiscent of the bit where they are asked to nurture and then kill their puppies.

shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:31

saz85 · 08/03/2024 21:29

I have to say, I'm wondering if the 9 year old used GPT to write it in the first place.

It's very well written but yes, disturbing to say the least!

Yep probably chatgpt. Though chatgpt often does not like these themes, and wont help to write disturbing material in my experience.

Agreed, it still is very well written

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shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:32

BathTangle · 08/03/2024 21:31

I'm wondering if the 9 year old has seen Kingsman? It's reminiscent of the bit where they are asked to nurture and then kill their puppies.

Possibly. Who would show Kingsman to a 9 yr old though?

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Trainstrike · 08/03/2024 21:33

If the 9 year old has read lots of books then it's not surprising. I was reading the Point Horror books at that age 😂

BathTangle · 08/03/2024 21:34

It was on TV at Christmas time, depends how much unsupervised TV there is in the house.

shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:35

BathTangle · 08/03/2024 21:34

It was on TV at Christmas time, depends how much unsupervised TV there is in the house.

Yep, probably that. or modern video games.

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shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:38

shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:35

Yep, probably that. or modern video games.

DD's mate loves to play GTA, similar scenes there. DD doesnt like to watch him gaming it though, too disturbing.

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shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:44

sigh

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Plannypops · 08/03/2024 21:46

Exceedingly unlikely any nine year old child wrote that. It is disturbing

shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:48

Plannypops · 08/03/2024 21:46

Exceedingly unlikely any nine year old child wrote that. It is disturbing

Yep seems to be the general consensus.

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ssd · 08/03/2024 21:49

Im wondering if a parent or big sister/ brother had any input? Its very grown up...

Stompythedinosaur · 08/03/2024 21:49

I think the author is very talented, and it's unusually sophisticated writing for a 9yo, but I don't agree that it's impossible for a 9yo to think up that level of creepy story.

goodkidsmaadhouse · 08/03/2024 21:50

I definitely don’t think it’s beyond the realms of possibility that a 9yo wrote that. A very talented 9yo but… of course they would be. I imagine all the competition winners are.

MixingPlaydough · 08/03/2024 21:50

I'm sceptical that it was solely written by a 9 year old too.

I also agree with the previous poster it reminded me very much of the scene in Kingsman.

shockedmama23 · 08/03/2024 21:51

ssd · 08/03/2024 21:49

Im wondering if a parent or big sister/ brother had any input? Its very grown up...

I am wondering the same. Not very common for children to have such sadistic thoughts/ideas, whether or not creative writing

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