To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

@Pipsquiggle absolutely agree with you, and indeed I would go further. I would urge anyone who is married and with children to seriously consider what they would like for their children should they die. Even if you trust him to do the right thing, making a will that your husband will inherit everything from you (fairly standard approach) means you lose control, potentially about where your "part" of parental legacy ends up. My husband's mother knew she was going to die and left all to her husband (his Dad) and fully expected that in due course her children would benefit from any legacy that she had some part in creating.

He re-married, was besotted with his new wife and sadly lost any sense of priority for the children that he had with his late wife to whom he was married for over 25 years. Lovely that he found such happiness. Not lovely that he didn't protect any aspect of his wife's legacy for her children.
As much as I love and trust my husband I'm making sure that has no chance of happening for our children.

Here’s my 2 cents:

• The money is generational wealth, created for their great-grandchildren. Your children.
• Your half-sibling is not entitled to any of the inheritance.
• 25% is VERY generous. You are offering to share 25% of your childrens’ inheritance with someone whose father married into your grandparents’ family.
• This person has said that the amount you’ve generously offered is ‘not enough’. Wants you to double it. TO GIVE THEM 50% OF YOUR CHILDRENS’ INHERITANCE.
• You have concerns that if you ‘only’ hand over 25% of your childrens’ inheritance, they will ghost you.

I have some serious feelings about this. I’d be interested to know what your therapist says.

Are you usually close? If you offer some and not what he's asking, will that actually prevent a rift?
It shouldn't enter into it but is either of you more in need of the inheritance.
I feel for you as sounds like you want to maintain contact with him

Her parents were never married.

She'd be choosing to share with someone who has zero link to her mother or maternal Grandparents.

The only link is sharing a father.

Then I’ll change it to ‘25% is VERY generous. You are offering to share 25% of your childrens’ inheritance with someone whose father had a child with someone in your grandparents’ family.’

Errr, no - what was left to you was left to you. End of story.

Wouldn’t give him anything personally. You don’t owe him anything. Money always brings out the worst in people and the audacity of claiming he’s entitled to your mums gift to you is unreal.

Just popping back to say GIVE HIM NOTHING.

So you have a relationship with him that you care about?

Right I have read your post.

And a few pages of comments.

So im sorry if I have missed anything out.

So his mother passes (not your mum) he inherits and doesn't share thats cool I wouldnt expect my half brother (paternal half brother - same dads different mums) to share as its not my maternal half brother (same mother different fathers).

Now your father dies (both your dads) but all he leaves is debt again that's cool happens sometimes nothing you can do unfortunately.

Now your mother dies everything she has now is hers as she obviously had to clear the debt of your father off.
Whatever she had is yours, but if she told him she would give him half then i would stick to my mothers wishes and give him half because there wasn't a will do you believe this is what she would have wanted if so then do it.

But wait this is where the story turns and becomes interesting...

Your grandparents have now passed on after their daughter your mother.

Now what your actually inheriting from here is maternal grandparents will (nothing at all to do with Your half brother) your mother passed before them so she doesn't inherit into her estate it goes directly to her descendants which is only you. So he's not entitled to anything as it was never your mother's to begin with...

Because in that will it would state...

I wish for XYZ AMOUNT to go to my daughter (your mums name let's call her) Betty but if for any reason she departs before us this share should go to any descendants of our daughter Betty.

So even legally it was never your mother's money. Its yours.

If you wish to gift him some then that's your perogative with how much, he should be grateful for anything that you may give but bot expect anything.

Hope this helps and clears up anything. Sorry if I have missed any details.

Hope this helps and clears up anything

So you rewrote the OP?

Not sure that’s helpful.

@Truthtalker just rewrote it and killed off the OP's father...

She wasn't his mum.

Don't you dare share it.

She wasn't his grandmother

So even legally it was never your mother's money.

So your mum promised him half of nothing.
Which is what he should get.
What did she promise him half of again?

And if she was never married to your father she was never his stepmum in any significant way. And is he older or younger than you?

I’m afraid through my own experience I can see into the future. I am certain your half brother does not love you the same way you love him and he will exploit you. He’ll walk out of your life no matter what you give him. Don’t trust what his father says either. I can pretty much promise you that later you’ll regret anything you give him. Oh and he’s lying about what your mother “said”. Your gran would not want him to have any! If 25pc is life changing for him then look suspiciously at his greed to expect half - from your gran’s money!

THIS ^. She may have told him that (or may be not) but after 20 years of estrangement and her dying before her parents, there is NOTHING for him to get half of.

Re my earlier post. If you feel you want to give him something due to your shared family history it should be for that reason alone and not as you have “little family left”. Understand that regardless of receiving he may not stay in your life esp if it’s not half. With resentment and bitterness these things can break families.

@Anonymouslyasking i wish you’d give us an update of what you’ve decided to do with it. I do hope you’ve taken the advice here and see it clearly that your half brother is taking you for a ride.

Except he didn't share with you when his mother died! Works both ways!

then you should do that.
But not so much that you think it is a lot.

I’m sorry OP but everyone in this day and age knows that if you intend someone to have something then you write it in your will. Your mum didnt included him and as such it goes to you. If you share anything then that’s on you but let’s not be stupid here, he is spinning a yarn and it’s BS! Keep your inheritance and live your life.

No , why should you share your Mums money when A) he didn’t share his mothers B) it’s nothing to do with him.
He’s just trying it on, just tell him No as it’s nothing to do with him…
Would your mother want her money going to her ex husband’s offspring from another relationship? I know I wouldn’t!

I think it is very unfair for a person to stuff like that about a person’s last will and testimony. This was the mothers wish to leave whatever she has big or small to the named person. I have seen it before where a will says something, and the family argue over it.
IT IS THE PERSONS WISH - END OF!!!!

It’s not from your mum; it’s from your grandparents. I have a blended family, but step and half siblings have never gotten any of the grandparents’ inheritance when they weren’t blood related. No one has ever had a problem with it. We’ve all inherited different amounts, from our variously related grandparents. Tell your brother none of it is his, but you’d like to give him some, but if he acts like a dick, you’re also happy to not give him any.