To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

When leaving my previous comment, I thought there was a will. It's hard to comprehend someone not having a will, especially when a large sum of money is involved. Regardless, if you do receive all of the money, it's still your choice in regard to what you decide to do w/ it. She was your mum, not his. If you don't mind me asking, did they have a personal relationship?

How old are your children ?

Giving away 25% which is enough to buy a house you say - can impact them

half brother doesn't love you or he wouldn't emotionally blackmail you for the money

He may get 25% and never speak to you again.

Or ask for another 25% and then what ?

Bleed you dry

He didn't share his mums inheritance and this is from your nan. Not mum

Amazed mum didn't have a will eep if she knew her mum had a large amount of money coming to her

First of all, this is NOT inheritance from your mum, when your mum passed away, whatever she had at that time is her estate. Did she have a will? If so the estate would have passed in accordance with that will, if not intestacy rules would apply.

When your gran died, the same applies, either there is a will setting out beneficiaries or intestacy - unless your gran specifically mentioned your half brother in her will, there is absolutely no claim there at all. She is no relation to him whatsoever!

I don't know why you feel you should give him anything! Or why he expects anything!!

The other thing is, if it was a large sum of money and it had gone firstly to your mother then to you quite quickly, you would have been subject to two lots of IHT

I think the question is not where did mum's money come from (it has been established that it was from her parents) , but if dad has passed away and had money, where did it go?
Has this been answered?

Tell him you'll give him the same percentage of your inheritance as he gave you.

Give him nothing!

Dear OP this sounds pretty straight forward to me, your mother died before your grandparents, it was not ever her money .
Your grandmother left the money to you.
No further discussion.

Please don't feel bullied Into giving any to your half brother. He sounds incredibly opportunistic and how cheeky to claim money you inherited from your grandparents, not his.
And if we want to get petty , let's not forget he didn't.share his inheritance with you did he.
Money brings out the worst in people doesn't it, you sound very kind to want to share something, but please don't, I feel he doesn't deserve your kindness.

It has been answered.

Try reading the OP's posts.

Definitely a no from me! He's being greedy, illogical & unfair in my mind.

However, I'd say it does depend on the relationship, upbringing and a number of other factors although your mum has stated she wants you to have it and this should have been implicitly written in her will.

If he's had inheritance from his mum (regardless of value) and not shared it then I'd say you can site that when talking to him about it.

Would you consider giving him a small percentage to keep the peace... Not that I feel you should but it's just a thought.

This is so sad. It seems like, give the family dynamic, this relationship is already broken because no amount of money will resolve your brother’s pain and issues. If you give in you will feel resentful and exploited. And he will always feel hard done by. He may even have contempt for you and he transferring his feelings about your mother (assuming he feels emotionally abused and neglected) onto you. It’s really difficult. Family therapy? Money won’t solve this.

Your brother is awful to even ask you this. That money has absolutely nothing to do with him. Do not give him a penny. After he has asked you this, your relationship with him is forever ruined anyway so by saying no will make no difference. Keep that money for your DC. You owe your brother NOTHING.

Also, just to add. So your mum died and then your gran, you inherited directly from your gran. It doesn't matter what your brother claims your mum said to him (it sounds like a lie anyway) as you inherited from gran.

So sad it comes down to money at the end of a life. Much trouble is caused in families, resentment ect...
You did make a point of reference re 'half brother' he has been the beneficiary of his late Mothers estate, so why should he have any of your entitlement. Stands to reason really, very black and white. People make us feel guilty when there is absolutely no need. This is life and we are grown ups! Take great care!

You don’t need to share. Follow the law, which means you get all as next of kin and main beneficiary. If your Mum didn’t leave a will then she can’t have meant to leave him any money, otherwise she would have left a will stating so. Point him towards the law, and if he wants to try and contest that….well good luck to him. You don’t need to fall out over this. Just plainly state the facts and sympathise with him that your Mum may, or may not, have said something and not followed through on it.

This is spot on! 👏 he will disappear for another 20 years, once he's got his mitts on some money!

if you want to give him some money I’d go and speak to a solicitor, make sure it’s done properly so there is no come back down the line to money he thinks he’s entitled to.

“I am going to honour my GM’s wishes, which were to look after the future of her GGC. I love you and always will, and as you are well aware, I am grieving for two close family members. I ask you to accept this so we can move on”.

Although sadly I doubt you’ll hear from him again for quite some time.

You say you love your brother very much and want to help him. And that is admirable. But you have children. And you must absolutely put them before your brother.
This money is not from your mum. She left nothing. This is from your grandmother. Who was nothing to do with your half brother. He had an inheritance from his own mother which he did not share with you. And that is very fair. So there is a precedent…. There is absolutely no need to share your grandmothers money with him.
Your children will benefit enormously from that money. And remember, you won’t get another inheritance so use it wisely…I suggest you speak to a solicitor about putting money away for each child to enable them to buy property when they are old enough.
Your brother is being cheeky. Your mum left nothing, and he needs to be told that. Nothing at all. This money is from your grandmother. And that is no concern of his. If he chooses to distance himself from you when he hears he isn’t getting anything you will see his true colours…..
You could treat him to a small amount as a gesture of goodwill. But make that very explicit. If it was me I would give him £1,000 as a gift once the money was sorted and had been put into funds for the kids.
He’s being very cheeky. Your grandmother wanted the money to go to you not someone who is no relation to her at all.

Whatever was in your mums will was what she wanted. He should respect that. Maybe there is something personal of hers that he would like??
An I would definitely be asking if he was willing to share his own mothers inheritance, assuming there was anything?

@TruckerMother - @Anonymouslyasking‘s mum left no will. The inheritance was left specifically to the OP in the grandma’s will, and as her mum predeceased her grandma, the mum’s wishes only apply to her estate at the time she died which does not include the inheritance from her grandma.

Did his father leave his money to your mother? Many fathers do that without thinking of the rights of their birth children after they die. If that is the case then morally he may have a claim although legally he does not.
It would not be able to comment without knowing what the financial situation of all of your, and his, parents was during their lives and when they died.

Well, if you read OP's posts you'd know the financial situation!!
And the fact her father is still alive...
And the fact it was inheritance from her grandmother NOT her mother.

Try reading more than the first post in a thread that is almost hitting 900 posts 🙄

Oh dear, the problem with inheritance!
As it has been clarified that the inheritance came from the grandparents, your brother isn't entitled to any of the cash.
Whilst I appreciate that he didn't give you any of his mum's inheritance, I am unsure of your relationship with his mum. If your brother (note,I refrain from using the term half) had a relationship with your mum, I think a portion of money might be worth considering ?

@Anonymouslyasking Managed to read some more of the over 900 comments & it turns out this inheritance isn’t even from your mum is it from your grandmother so NO your half brother is absolutely NOT entitled to any of it at all & he is tapped in the head if he thinks he is or if he thinks you are being unfair to not share. There is nothing to share as he is not entitled to any of it so do not give him a penny of what was left to you BY YOUR GRANDMOTHER **

Your mum is not his mum so he is not entitled to anything she left you!
Ask him for half of what his mum left him - she is not your biological parent - & see how he responds to that request because that is what he is asking you to do!
If it was your dad who had passed it would be a different story as he is a biological parent to you both so you would, hopefully, naturally split the inheritance equally.
If your mum wanted this to happen she would have changed her will or expressed the fact to you.