To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

It isn't his inheritance and he has no entitlement, legally or morally. Whatever % you give him under 50% wouldn't be enough to satisfy his greed. You'll regret giving him any % whatsoever, more than giving him his dues i.e. nothing.

He has no bloodline entitlement, it wasn't left to him, he didn't share when he inherited previously.

@WhizzWoman Well if they both share the same father then when her step bother was left an inheritance by his mother surely he should have shared half with the OP by your way of thinking assuming the father has passed away of course. As it happens the OP has stated that none of the inheritance has come from their father.

I wonder if the posters who seem unable to keep up with OP’s updates, realise it is possible to see these with a click without the necessity to read every single post in a very long thread! Try it and save the thread from irrelevant posts.

Try reading the thread. The legacy is from the grandmother, not the mum, and yes there was a will. There was no estate from the mum. And no, the half brother was estranged from his step mum (OP's mum) for 20 years.

Another who can't be bothered to read the thread. Dad is still alive but with diminished capacity. OP has to take care of his affairs including paying off his debts. He will leave no legacy.

On the off-chance you're still peeking at the thread, Op, and as harsh as it is, what your mother wanted (or 'wanted') is irrelevant. It was not her money to give and your brother needs to understand that. It is an inheritance from your grandmother. It is not an inheritance from your mother so whatever conversations he had or didn't have with her are meaningless.

The guilt, the feeling like you need to compensate him for your mother's mistreatment, all of it, has no bearing on the morals of it at all. It wasn't your mother's money to offer nor for him to demand. It was your grandmother's. Had things gone another way, your mother could have inherited and blown the lot and neither of you would have seen a penny.

Your grandmother wanted you to have it. Focus on her wishes, and on grieving. Two losses so close together is difficult enough to process without this added stress.

If you want to give him anything, it must come from your own sense of generosity, not a sense of obligation. This money is yours and it is also your children's future. You cannot give it away because you feel pressured and blackmailed.

I really don't see the love from for you or your DC from your brother here, OP.

My parents died when I was a child. Due to biology and legalities, my (half) brother got twice as much as I did when the compensation and inheritance was paid out.

But it never once crossed my mind to tell my brother what I thought I was entitled to (although he did give me a sum once he was old enough to receive his money, which I very much appreciated)

That's because I love my brother for who he is, not for what he can give me.

Do you think your brother can say the same for your relationship?

Your half brother is not related to you mother, you owe him nothing, your inheritance comes from your material grandparents. He cannot prove that your mother said that she would leave him half of her estate. If you want to give him something, offer 10% take it or leave it and good luck to him trying to get more.

OP's inheritance comes from her grandmother as her mother doesn't appear to have any estate to leave. Her paternal half brother has only rocked up now her mother has died, they didn't speak for 20 years. His mother died and he didn't share his inheritance with his half sister, so pleased explain why she should share anything with him let alone her inheritance.

@GoldEagle how about you explain where I said she should give him anything?

Actually there was no will. But 3/4 is moderately good reading comprehension, to be fair.

Yes, this. Ignore my last.

Thanks for the marking - do I get a sticker?

The mother didn’t leave a will but the implication is that the grandmother did, as the legacy is coming direct to the granddaughter and not via intestacy proceedings:

Skiphopbump · 08/03/2024 13:40

Assuming this is all true, did your mum leave a will stating her wishes? Did she state her money was to be left to her husband, you, your brother?

OP: My parents were not married and there was no will

All these people saying it depends where the money came from, should be ignored. If she wanted him to have half she would have told you herself and made sure she had a Will. She did neither of those things, the money is yours. End of discussion.

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Read the OP's posts again. She inherits from her grandmother in intestacy, as the only living relative.

Toughen up!

Your mum told you she didn't want to leave the money to him, especially as they had a tumultuous relationship!

Your grandparents wouldn't want their money go to him as he's not related.

He will be getting his money from his mother.

I wouldn't give him anything!!!!

100% give him zero, nil, nothing!

Then that answers your question, your grandmother left him nothing for a reason. All this inheritance is yours.

If you get this far into the thread op, please remember it sounds like you will be supporting your dad, not him. So think of 20% of the money as gone already for your dads care. Then your 4 children. I wouldn’t give him much if any, he didn’t talk to your mum for 20 years and it wasn’t your mums money anyway and it wasn’t left to him.

What he says your mum told him is of no importance. If her raising of him was "tumultuous" as you said, and he hadn't seen her for 20 years, he apparently had no interest in improving the relationship. He had no relationship with your grandmother, and your inheritance is from her. He's not happy with your offer of 25% and insists on half even though you have 4 children and he has none, and it sounds like your father's care will be your expense for his remaining years. I assume you're both middle-aged or thereabouts. His feelings for you seem to depend on how much money you'll give him. Your love for him is wonderful, BUT... it's time for you to put it on a back burner and accept that he more likely cares more about himself than you, your children or your mutual father. Since you already made an offer of 25% which, I think, was unnecessarily foolish, write him a check and close the door on him and his greed. Your future relationship is up to him. If he wants none, just add his name to your list of losses and concentrate on those you still have.

Yes! Logic always helps.

Sorry but your brother sounds sketchy. I'm sure he cares for you but it seems like greed is driving him at the moment. No one is 100% good and no one is 100% bad, it the people closest to you who can do the most damage - trust no one.

THIS ^

Your Dad's care may well eat into your inheritance.. Your brother is very unlikely to contribute. You could say that you will be paying his contribution.

Your grandmother didn't promise him anything.
She wanted you and your FOUR CHILDREN to have it.
It may seem like a lot but your children will have all kinds of needs in the future, deposits on housing for eg, cost of support during studying etc...Costs which you may not be able to meet because you gave a large chunk of your inheritance away. You should think of them FIRST, not your brother.

Your brother is resentful and blackmailing you. This is not someone who is going to be a support in your life. You don't blackmail the people you care about.

I don't think OP mother brought up her half brother at all, he hadn't spoken to her in 20 years, just suddenly rocked up wanting money now OP mother has passed away.