Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

Think it's nice to get a card and a box of choccies. Perhaps some people expect more?! To be acknowledged is nice.

But then... how will people know what you had for tea that night??

All these ‘Days’ are man made commercial nonsense, no one needs to buy into it, it’s sheep mentality

I find it most strange that mothers whose DC and DH put no effort into anything, are then surprised when the day of their dreams doesn't materialise on MD.
I've seen the Moonpig cards and parcels arriving over the last couple of weeks ( I could even make a good guess at what's in them). I know the restaurant is booked (just not where and what time) and I also know there'll be several bouquets of flowers.
Different things are important to different people. My family know Sunday means a lot to me. I'd be shocked and upset if effort wasn't made, even more so now DC are late teens to late twenties. DH always buys for me, too, as he has since DC1 was born.
My DC always saw me making an effort with DM and MIL and their DF celebrating. One year I was in a HDU in a city hospital and DM was dying in another hospital. I still arranged for gifts to be with her, My DH and DC visited her before driving to me, especially knowing it would be her last.
I set my stall out early when it comes to special occasions. DH could have walked away but by staying he knew I wouldn't accept Birthdays and Christmases to be no effort affairs. This opinion my not be very mumsnetty but it's never a day of disappointment, nor is it done for social media bragging rights. It's a day being spoilt by my family, one I look forward to.

No drama here. Flowers ordered and delivered to the two mothers of the older generation. A phone call over breakfast.
DH helps the kids get cards and a little something which I open in bed.
DD and I go to the Mothering Sunday at the church. She sings in the choir so is there every week. All the women (mums or not) get a lovely post of Spring flowers.
Home for Sunday roast and general loafing (although we are shaking things up and going out this year.)

It’s a shame it’s a drama of stress for some people. I can understand how hard it is for those who have lost mothers or children, for those who are child free not by choice, and kids who are care experienced. But there do seem to be quite a few Mumsnetters who could make a drama out of almost any event.

To be fair I’m surprised I haven’t seen a dramatic post about not being worshipped by DH/DP/DC for international women’s day today! 😁

but yes, Mother’s Day does seem like it causes a lot of faff and stress to some!

My kids get me a card and a gift they've chosen.
My mum is abroad so flowers sent and will see her during half term.
MIL catered for, there will be much angst, but zero shits given, it's not "her" day.

I will go to work, come home and they will give me said gifts and lots of kisses and hugs and we will have something tasty to eat. It's no biggie at all in our house, I'm just happy to have them ☺️

I've been getting annoyed with it this year too for some reason. We have always done something with my mum, grandmothers when they were still with us and then since I had my DDs (eldest is 12), it's never been anything crazy but enough like breakfast in bed, a bunch of flowers, going out for tea,
a card DDs have made in school etc but all of a sudden there seems to be loads of pressure around it - I really don't want my kids or DH to waste money buying me tat I don't need, like everything shops are turning it into a massive thing where there's pressure to spend money and ruining the day in my opinion

I've already got my mother's day present. A book and a packet of dark chocolate digestives. Ds is 18 and its the first year I've only had to drop a hint once. I'd be amazed if he did anything for me on the actual day.

I think the thing that should be banned is the men who do little throughout the year, and can’t even get it together to organise lunch and a card for one day. Worse are the narcs like my EXH, and men I read about on here all the time, who have meltdowns on special occasions. Ban those fuckers!

Also my 12 yo has a hockey tournament this Sunday, younger DD has horse riding, DH can't be in 2 places at once so am I supposed to be a diva and refuse to do anything so one of them misses out? No of course not, I'll probably get a quick breakfast in bed then back to reality sitting in the cold watching DD riding a pony!

Drama is because
1 people are grabby
2 people are selfish
3 people to materialist
4 people are entitled
The list goes on and on …………
mums should NOT expect gifts off of partners it for children to be nice to mum !!
And a good mum won’t expect anything anyway just being appreciated should be enough ! Keep it simple !

I don’t believe the answer is to ban it, I just think people have unrealistic expectations.

We have never really bothered with either Mother's Day or Father’s Day.

I expect I will get cards from my adult dses but that will be all and I really don’t mind. Some years I haven’t had cards, it’s no big deal.

I send my mum a card but that’s it, we aren’t geographically or emotionally close.

DH and I were planning to go out for lunch but I think it might be a bit much with people out for Mother’s Day so we may cancel.

Mother’s Day shouldn’t be banned.

Crazy, dramatic, OTT, Drama Queen “mumzilla” type mothers should be though 😂

As a single mum with no money and 2 young kids I get nothing on Mother’s Day, I can’t afford presents and the kids don’t do anything, I could quite happily live without it, it doesn’t make me feel special or celebrated it makes me feel envious and bitter that I’ll never have what my friends do. Like my birthday I’d rather they just didn’t exist.

I love it, I'm clear in my expectations - brunch out and flowers - very manageable and very much appreciated.

Mostly a ban on weddings and MILs!

I don't know I had a nice card in the post no drama. Happy with that I vote carry on with it.

I'm a single parent, so I had to make my mothers day card with my daughter when she was little, but she still loved waking me up with it, and then there were the cereal and milk surprise breakfast in bed years - had to be cold so she could manage herself, and by a miracle she never dropped the bowl over me.

She buys the brunch now, but for years I paid for it.

I don't think single mothers need to miss being celebrated on Mother's Day, they just have to help their kids to make it happen, and give their kids the chance to do something nice, even if it's a homemade card which you help make yourself, or getting to pick your favourite dinner, but getting to cook it too!

No because without fail every year I get a massive box of Ferrero Roche and I get to eat at least 4 in bed without any guilt whatsoever. I then generously and bountifully 😉share some with the kids.

That is the law in this house and thankfully, all children obey the law on Mother's Day.

I like it. The kids will present me with their handmade crap that I will treasure forever and we don’t plan anything except for lunch out and a walk in the woods. Both our mums are welcome to join us and sometimes they do. They’ll get a card and some flowers too.

I'm not keen on MD - my mum wasn't a great mum and I have to buy her card etc because she believes she was a great mum and I'm crap daughter. So, I buy a card and send it as to not hurt her feelings.

Same here. It's the only card I send her that her that I take some time over. It's really bloody hard to find a card that doesn't waffle on about being "to a great mum". I'm an awful daughter too apparently

Like everything it’s become excessive. It used to be that you got your mother a card, a small gift, spent some time together.

Now it’s become too much about dramatic gestures, expensive meals out, husbands buying for wives which is weird. Fair enough to help a young child make a card but it’s far too commercialised.

I agree. When I was little card and breakfast in bed was all my mum got (dad did cook lunch though).
Pretty much the same as I get now. We usually go out for lunch but DH and I have been super busy and totally forgot to book anything so DH will cook.
I don't know when it became such a big thing or why anyone would care so much. I know my kids love me, don't need a special day for that.

I'm only voting YABU because it's a recognised Christian 'holiday' (?). However, I agree all the commercialism/ expectations on the part of the mums should go... all these 'I got a Dyson hairdryer' comments - what?! They are several hundred pounds! I'd be very happy with a meal with my family and some flowers/ edible treats.