Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

My DS18 is on an apprentice wage so I’ve told him not to spend money as he doesn’t have any. My DM is going to be away (she didn’t realise it would be Mothers Day when she booked the holiday a year ago) so it’s nice and easy this year. We’re going out to dinner with MIL and FIL, we’ve booked the table and will pay, it’ll be very likely though, despite us telling them not to, that an unexpected transfer will hit our account. My DP laughs if off as that’s just what his parents do, but for once I’d like it to be our treat. Otherwise I’m expecting a nice day with no drama 😊

I think this comment is one that most people could agree with!

Infant feeding would be the first to go...😳

Along with DHs, most other family members...

It is not a christian festival. Neither are christmas, or Easter.

Just get a basic happy mother's day card or go for the jokey passive aggressive ones

Yeah, because that’s what people need and want - more stuff. The fact that you equated happiness with “stuff” in your post, is exactly the point people are trying to make.

I have no time for any of things therealcookiemonster mentioned either, not because no one buys me anything, but because I don’t actually need or want more “stuff”.

To be honest, no one needs more “stuff” and I think it’s batshit crazy that it’s completely normal for adults to expect other adults to make of fuss of them, and present them with gifts multiple times a year, for absolute made up shite.

Christmas and Birthdays, I have no issue with. Although we now do a secret Santa for the adults at Christmas to prevent the obscene gift giving that was happening every year.

But having similar expectations for mothers/fathers/Valentine’s Day etc is just pure greed and entitlement. And it’s completely normalised.

I’m more than happy with a handmade card from the kids but, to be honest, I couldn’t care less if the day ceased to exist. I’m just happy to be their mum.

I’m very happy with my life. So happy, in fact, that I don’t need acknowledgments or gifts - I already have everything I need.

It's all well and good when there are only 1 mum and her children, but mostly it's a battle to make everyone happy and fit everyone in, in one day.

me - my kids
my dd - her kids
hubby - mil
me - my mum

The only festivities that get such backlash are Valentine's Day and Mother's Day, both days where men are expected to do things for women.

Other festivities are not and though people may wish to do paired down versions or not celebrate at all almost everyone celebrates and enjoys some of them without decrying it.

I went for ban it OP, although as you say that won’t happen but it does seem to cause so much drama.
I’m a Mum, if my two sons remember all well and good, of they don’t it’s not a big deal, I know they love me and I don’t need a manipulated show of affection just to prove to the world and it’s dog that someone cares about me.
I’m happy for my DIL to see her mum, I appreciate she loves her Mum, I’m not jealous of that. I’m cooking a roast dinner, I’ll really enjoy it, it’s just another day.
Life is far too short for all this drama!

Unusual dinner to have, but if it makes you happy...😅

Not a Christian holiday but has religious origins. Mothers day was originally to allow those who'd moved away (usually children/young people) to visit their home or 'mother' churches - in the area that they came from.

Shrove Tuesday was the feast before lent, to use up food that would be given up (a form of fast) for Lent. Again, pancakes specifically are not of any religious significance but they're a good way to use up the things you are not going to eat for a few weeks.

The clowns that fall for these over commercialised stuff.

A few years ago, about 15, you never had fathers day

FFS, Halowwen

FGS, Black Friday

The sad fact is those that sell stuff know how to make feel guilty and miserable

The upsets you get on Mothers Day, not done this and the - the upsets on xmas day, he's not coming, shes not coming, their present was rubbish, etc etc

Make every day special, IE live a normal, happy and honest life and possibly if u want celebrate you birthdays and or wedding anv etc and your children's birthdays until the age of 21?

@DistinguishedSocialCommentator Father's Day has been around since 1910. American at first but soon crossed the pond.
It's not a new (or 15 years old) thing.

I would imagine that Mother’s Day is a slightly stronger version of whatever is normal for each family.

If you have issues with Mother’s Day, you have issues full stop. Or otherwise.

No don’t ban Mother’s Day just ban the threads about it.

Absolutely not. I love all the threads that consolidate my view that I'm better off (edit: and have a better relationship with my childs dad) single than a lot of people are happily married 😂

I definitely made fathers day cards at school, which was unfortunately a lot more than 15 years ago.

Completely agree! It’s a made-up day after all. My stbxh would rather die than buy my children a present to give to me.

It’s not the occasion, it’s people and their expectations that have got wildly out of control. A card and some daffs is more than enough for me.

Same. My dm loves soppy verses, and my brother panders to that (even though he knows she’s never been loving to us). I won’t though. I search for a card which just says happy Mother’s Day, and that’s it. I envy those who have close loving relationships with their mums, and obviously that envy is magnified on Mother’s Day.

I don't think any celebration should be banned.
Everybody is entitled to celebrate or not to celebrate.
Everybody can spend the day how and where they want to, and spend as little or as much money, time, effort as they would like.
Personal choice. Live and let live 🩷

I'm not one for making a fuss about anything. But I do remember my ex buying his mum a lovely bouquet and I got nothing. That hurt a lot. I think these things should be discussed within a family and the expectations surrounding it respected. My mum would always tell me not to fuss as I was a mum and deserved to have the focus on me now. I wish I had made more of a fuss of her. She was just the best.

I don’t think it should be banned but I will choose to ignore Mothers Day.

I love the homemade card from school and shit flowers from the garden. Husband plans a nice meal or sometimes I do, I can't care if he does or doesn't, I like to do a small thing like a meal to all celebrate each other so if it ends up me organising it I don't mind. Until the kids ruin it by being idiots in the restaurant, then my best gift is the hour I spend alone at home in my room afterwards while I listen to the carnage downstairs

Its nicer to give mothers and mother type figures surprises at other times of the year.. In a similar way to Valentines Day.

Plus the restaurants and flowers will be cheaper. Noticed that the flowers at work are a couple of quid more than the standard flowers.