Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

The consumerism part is utterly excessive though. I am sure that’s the objection.

Many people are fed up with being guilt-tripped into making an expensive fuss when it used to just be a simple token of love and appreciation.

Never thought of it in these terms but this is an excellent take on it!

Yes, that so true

So Mother’s Day to me. I buy a card and gift (chocolate and wine) for both my mum and my MIL (who I love too).
I have two adult children. If they would like to spend the day with me ….. super. If not it is ok too. My eldest is a new dad. He is coming to ours for lunch, his DP is going to her mums with baby. My other son is at uni. Not sure he remembers it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow, but that’s absolutely fine, he is very busy. I may get a phone call tomorrow.
my DM and dad are coming for lunch, my sister is going to her mother in laws. My MIL/fil are busy so cannot make it.
mall very amicable, no dramas. I’m a mum 365 days a year I don’t NEED to be celebrated on this one day. Such a shame others don’t have such a good day.

I’ve had a few less than stellar Mother’s Days over the years. I’m sure for many of us it’s a bittersweet one. But I still appreciate the effort that the now (almost) adult dc put into it. I’ve been a single parent since the youngest was 7, and I’ve been happy with handmade cards, chocolate bars from the shop on the way home from school, simple, thoughtful gifts. I don’t need anything insta worthy, but I appreciate what I get and their choice to spend time with me on the day.

@Meowandthen but no one is forced to make the day all about consumerism if they don't want to.
Most people I know don't.
If people object to that - then they don't have to celebrate to day like that.
However if some people do want to do that - that's up to them. Their choice.

I like it. It's a good reason to buy the important ladies in my life some flowers and make time to visit and spend time with them. We visit DM DSM and MIL. I'm not worried about getting anything myself or having plans or going anywhere, a morning hug from DS and an 'I love you' ....and preferably no nagging or talking incessantly about football for the day 🤣
Seriously though, each to their own - it's only a drama if you make one

Homemade card, bunch of daffs, tea and toast in bed then off to church - keeps it simple. No meal out as it's too busy!

Actually this year (kids now grown) I got flowers send by one dd already, suspect other will have forgotten unless her father reminded her (we're divorced but he's good like that) and am going out for dinner with dsd but only McDonald's, does that count

@DinnaeFashYersel

Origins are a break from the strictures of lent half way through when domestic servants went home to family and attended their "mother church" and took a cake for their family. It is always the 4 Sunday in lent.

I agree. Lost my mum last year, have unsubscribed to lots of emails but can’t keep up. None of us need a Clinton’s card day of more pressure tomorrow. It seems to make single people and probs same sex couples feel weird too, not just those who’ve lost parents.

Well said OP! I’ve long since stopped taking any notice of hallmark holidays. I honestly couldn’t care less if my DCs acknowledge it or they don’t. They are kind and thoughtful towards me every day …that’s what I care about. Weirdly though when I divorced their Dad and access was being agreed it was ordered that Mothers Day to be spent with the Mother, Father’s Day with the Father …

I agree OP, I’d quite like to be saved from the disappointment. And I’d be easily pleased, a card would do :/

Yes it is ! It's origin's are Mothering Sunday and it's always The fourth Sunday of Lent

My elder son never ever acknowledges Mother's Day, but the younger son always calls me very early to wish me a lovely day. It was 2am today, and yes, I'm always awake all night, every night, so he knows it's fine to call me at this hour.

My birthday is in less than a fortnight, so it's always pretty close to Mother's Day, and only a week before Easter this year.

So, as my younger son lives at the other end of the country, he won't be able to see me until a few days after my birthday this year. He always makes a real fuss of me (meals, flowers, chocolates and gifts), so it'll be a bumper gift-fest in a couple of weeks.

I ran the question of not doing Mother's Day past my son a few years ago, and he said "No! You deserve to have a day that recognises what a fantastic mum you are, and just your birthday isn't enough, so no, I'm not cancelling Mother's Day".

I don’t know it seems to be the new normal to attack want to end every tradition that we have in the West- Christmas, Mother’s Day, Easter, Valentines Day etc.
Every culture has celebrations involving family, food and festivals but our homegrown Western traditions seem looked down on and sneered at as too consumerist.

Only on Mumsnet do people make a massive fuss about it! Not really heard much about it otherwise.

I agree. It’s such a shame. I really love my card and extra cuddles on Mother’s Day. Their little faces when they give me my present whatever that may be and they get so excited in the build up. Last year they made me little wooden key rings which I cherish :)

I think they’re a touch worse tbh.

Most of the ones moaning about it and saying they like small acts seem to not notice several of the posts where there is drama are from mums with young children who can’t just make a card for themselves or give breakfast with bed without the help of their father. In most of these situations it is down to a partner who doesn’t consider the mother of his young children whatsoever yet thinks she needs to celebrate and do for his mum only when he can do that himself or another sibling can.

From other complaints, again it is a partner who can’t remember what their own spouse likes after several years so the mums just say they don’t want anything so they’re not disappointed or continued to be disappointed.

Nope. I love Mother’s Day. I don’t understand why people on here are so dramatic about it. I’ve had a few nice gifts this morning and dh will be taking the kids to MIL for an hour or so while I have a bath then we’re all off out for a walk to the pub for lunch and will probably pop in to see my mum on the way back. The kids were excited this morning to give me the cards they had made which was very sweet and me and DH are looking forward to not having to cook as we don’t eat out much these days. It’s nice to feel appreciated and I will do the same for DH on Father’s Day. It’s no big deal.

Interesting debate.
I want to know why Catholics do not promote mother's day. They seem against it too.

I receive hand made cards from mine every year except this year Catholics told him not to.

I am lucky to have received a glass of water from mine today. Catholics tell him to do these things. Really odd and strange behaviour from mine this time.
I promoted it with my parents with kids.

Why are Catholics sending out this message?

Wrong!

It’s nice to feel appreciated and I will do the same for DH on Father’s Day.

That’s the thing isn’t it? You feel appreciated and you do the same for your DH for Father’s Day. Many of the posters on here complaining, do not feel appreciated nor get anything like cards or gifts hence it being a big deal to them and being upset.

@phoenixrosehere but that doesn’t mean it should be banned. I really don’t like NYE for personal reasons but I understand others like to celebrate so I just shut my curtains and go to bed early. I don’t want everyone else not to enjoy it or begrudge them for having their fun, I just don’t celebrate myself.

I like Mother's Day but I do feel it could be "quieter". When I was a child it was a case of a home made card and a few primroses from the garden but now people feel obliged to make such a big deal about it. The advertising doesn't help-businesses have hijacked the event, and made it all about big gifts and fancy restaurants. I don't personally feel the need for those , though I appreciate spending time with my children if they're around.

Which particular catholics?