AIBU to think it’s ok for my DD to walk school?

[alwaysgonnaloveyou]

I have been offered a job but my 9 year old DD (soon to be 10) would need to walk to school alone. It is a mile away. I would need to leave the house at 7.30 to get to work but the out of hours club provided by school doesn’t open until 8. I am a single parent and do not know anyone who would be able to pick her up from our house and drop her off at school. I have a 14 year old DD also who is super sensible but goes to a different school so she would be looking after him until he has to walk to school. Her school is in the opposite direction so she can’t walk her halfway or anything.

This should be normal, but it’s not

She could need to make her own way to and from school five days a week in 18 months time.

I think it's fine if no dodgy road crossings.

Back in the day (a very long time ago) I walked to school on my own age 7!!

So I probably have skewed views. I also walked aged 11 to secondary school every day in all weathers - 2 miles there and 2 miles back.

I'd say one a day is fine if your child is confident to do it? It won't be dark in the mornings at the moment.

*one day a week

I’d let her. There’s just things that kids of single parents have to do that other kids don’t. That’s just the reality of it. Sometimes single parents don’t have a choice. I’m sure she’ll quickly meet other kids walking the same way and have walking buddies!

I personally wouldn’t, due to the distance and being on her own.

I walked to school at 9 but it was on my street, although I was still attacked once by boys from my class when I was 10 on the way home.

I’m not clear on exactly what time she’d be walking to school. When does your 14 year old need set off?

It also depends on what kind of area you live in tbh.

Are there no other kids or parents you know that live nearby that could walk with her even if it’s even half way?

Those saying they’ll make their own way to school in a couple of years anyway, again it depends on the journey. I lived nowhere near my secondary school but it just involved very very short walks to bus stops.

Is she happy to walk alone? That's the most important thing. Can you do practice runs to get her used to it? Walk behind her at a distance and see how she does.

I'm not in the UK, in my country no parent would think twice about this unless the child had additional needs, most walk to school alone at 7 or 8.
When my DD started preschool at 6, I was unemployed so thought I'd be able to walk her but the unemployment office suddenly decided I had to do a work placement. If I didn't do it I'd lose my unemployment money and we'd be screwed so DD had to walk alone, just over a mile, at 6 years old. She wasn't the only one either, though the other child had a much shorter journey (if he cut through the graveyard)

Could you ask some for some flexibility on that 5th day? Most employers are accommodating.

If she’s nearly 10 then she’ll be in Year 5, right?

It’s fairly normal for kids in Year 5 to walk themselves to school where I am. My DC’s primary school allows children in Year’s 5 and 6 to walk home alone (if the parents give permission).
Most of the Year 5 kids I see walking to or from school with their parents are the ones where the parents are also accompanying a younger sibling or where there’s a dangerous road between their home and the school.

My Year 5 DC is one of the ones being walked to school and back, but that’s mainly because we live on the wrong side of a busy road with no pedestrian crossing that’s used by lots of HGVs.

So if your DD’s route to school is a safe one then she should be old enough to take herself.

Around here, kids walk themselves to school from about age 8-9, so I personally can't see an issue with the distance.

But she may not be happy to walk herself to school alone in the dark in winter, so you'll need a back-up plan for those months, I think.

I presume there are footpaths and streetlights? Would cycling be a possibility?

Although I agree that it’s up to people what they do out of hours, it can be fairly common for schools or even workplaces to have these rules when travelling to or from them.

Op have you at least double checked the school policy regarding this?

Those saying they’ll make their own way to school in a couple of years anyway, again it depends on the journey. I lived nowhere near my secondary school but it just involved very very short walks to bus stops.

I'd say meeting a bus is harder than walking a short distance like a mile. If you are walking and leave late you walk fast or are a bit late. If you miss the bus is there another? More to go wrong.

Taxi firm with DBS?

Don't know if anyone has mentioned, but you can claim a UC top up as a single parent with 2 dependents on your salary. I'm on a little more than you and get some help, and the 85% of childcare paid as well. Hate that I'm claiming but sometimes you do what you have to do.

Saying that, hypothetically, if we only lived a mile or less away I'd 100% let DD walk to school next year at 9.

Do what works for your family.

But schools do have a duty of care with regards to safeguarding, If they feel the behaviour is putting the child at risk of harm they are obliged to step in to see what can be done and to report it if deemed necessary.

Personally I think if you can stay on the phone to her the whole time and you believe them to be sensible then it's ok. 20 years ago and we all did it! Without technology. People saying your 14 year old would have too much responsibility surprises me, it really doesn't seem like that to me. I was perfectly capable at 14 and did much more than this. It depends on the child and you are the best person to make that decision. Don't let others on here make you feel bad for doing something to better your family and take reasonable precautions

I couldn't even fathom letting my 9 year old walk a mile to school. Absolutely not.

OP I'm a lone parent too so I really get how important this is to you in terms of pay.

If they are a sensible kid fine, load LIFE 360 app on your phones and you can track her and so can your other DC. Can she cycle? Is it a safe route?

Or you suck up the taxi cost once a week. Advanced bookings like that you might be able to get a discount.

I’m a teacher and the children arrive at 8.30. I have asked and it’s a ‘no’.

My daughter is 10 in April, we live 1.4 miles from her school (I just checked) and I walk her up until the very last bit where she usually meets friends and walks the last probably 3 minutes with them.

A few of the others in her year (5) do walk on their own but they are all much closer to school than we are. I will carry on walking her for year 6 as well, which is what I did with my ds.

I feel like a short walk is fine but 1mile plus is just too far alone at that age. I don't know about you, but we don't see many school families/children till we're much closer to the school. The kids who walk in year 5/6 at my school are the ones who join the busy flow of school (walking) traffic, not walking 'alone' as such.

See, I couldn't fathom not letting them, unless they were developmentally like a child of seven or younger.

I work in 2 primary schools and we have plenty of year 5s and 6s that walk to/from alone at both. I think it depends more on the child and whether they are sensible and Road aware. Also lots of ours have either a phone or a watch that can be tracked to ensure they get back safely. It’s not unusual and as it’s only 1 day, I’d just let the school know so that they ring immediately if the child is absent that day and check they shouldn’t be in!

Congrats on the new job!
could 14yr old walk her to breakfast club and then get a taxi to school themselves?

can your parents be backup if she is ill?