To think DH should have come straight home today?

[rainbowsunsgold]

DH was working away Tuesday and yesterday and today would have been home for half five but he’s gone to give his mum a Mother’s Day present. Normally it wouldn’t have been a problem but we have an ill and very clingy baby and I feel like he should have come straight back to help. AIBU? (She’s away Sunday.)

Seriously, do you think you’re funny…

At the risk of being accused of being unpleasant again @TeaKitten , I would rather not talk about it with you as you aren’t asking out of genuine concern, are you?

It's the motherhood load. He's got no ties he won't understand.

It’s tough and I do feel a bit like it’s me and the children as one unit then he’s another unit. Probably haven’t explained well!

It’s not an accusation, it’s factual you are being unpleasant to people on here. You even said you were being rude. You’ve been rude to people who were being nice to you too as you don’t like being told you are tired.

And I was asking out of concern - it seems a little attention seeking to post you are phoning 111 as your baby is suddenly more ill, and then refuse to say wether you’ve phoned or not.

@TeaKitten rhe thing is you aren’t exactly being pleasant either.

I never see the point of coming on a post just to tell the poster what an awful human they are. Sometimes I open a post and think the OP doesn’t come over very nicely but I just leave them. In the same way I don’t interact with people who are unpleasant in RL. What is achieved by endless ‘you are unpleasant’?

The children have no clean clothes, but you have been on this thread for 3 hours so you could have gathered up the dirty clothes, put on the washing machine - a wash would be completed by now, and hung it up or put it in the tumble drier, even with a baby in your arms.
So why the dismay that the children have no clean clothes.

Well yes I could if I hadn’t had the baby.

It’s you who keeps saying it, I was responding to you. I asked if you had phoned 111 for your baby who you said was going mental, and you brought up the unpleasent thing and accused me of not asking out of concern, so I was responding to you. I was one of the first people to reply and discuss your post with you so I clearly haven’t come on to tell you you are an awful human. But yeah if you’re gona post about it talking to me, I am going to reply.

Il assume your baby calmed down and you didn’t need to phone 111 then as you are still posting.

I will leave the thread when I wish to leave the thread.

Ok 😂 Just FYI, saying your baby needs 111 and then staying online to argue with everyone and be nasty to posters who were actually trying to help you, isn't making you look great 👍

OP I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. My little one has scarlet fever at the moment and looking after poorly little ones is tough. I get that you just needed him to come home and help for a little bit. I’m sure he could have popped over there on Saturday or Sunday morning before she went out. Your little one should have taken priority today in my opinion. Hope they get better soon

What do I keep saying?

You keep telling me I’m unpleasant. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m just a twat with no redeeming features. What does saying that over and over achieve? Seriously, tell me?

@NestaArcheron

There is nothing I can do at this moment in time. All I can do is be with her and often cuddles and comfort. It is probably teeth but it was a bit worrying earlier when she was going a bit mental. I realise you weren’t laughing at that but just the same the 😂 is a bit misplaced IMO.

If his mum is away for mother's Day, she possibly isn't that bothered about it. I think he definitely should have gone straight home, the people that need him the most at the moment are there.

I haven’t said you are a twat at all, stop making crap up. YOU said ‘at the risk of being accused of being unpleasant’ for atleast the second time, and I responded to that. While you were being rude saying I wasn’t asking if you’d phoned 111 for genuine reasons. You could have just said no she calmed down thankfully, but you’d rather let people wonder if she’s ok. And have a go at me. Clearly you are enjoying taking your frustration out on people on this thread though so I hope it’s making your night better.

I didn’t say you did.

But you are endlessly returning to the thread with nothing more than observations on my supposed unpleasant character and I really don’t know what you want to achieve. Genuinely, what is it you want as an outcome to ‘you are unpleasant’?

And I’m actually quite calm just at the moment. I have some Haribo and DD is now snoring in my arms so I’m fairly chilled

given he’s working close to mIL place, if it’s a literally 5 min drop off at the door, I’d see no issue. But if he’s gone, sat down for chat etc instead of going home to see his kids and relieve his wife, I’d be pissed

So you're run tagged by three children, one of whom may need 111, yet you've been posting on and reading this thread throughout. If things were as bad as you claim, surely you wouldn't have been able to follow and read every post and respond as often as you have?

Maybe I’m just a twat with no redeeming features. What does saying that over and over achieve? Seriously, tell me?

Here is where you said I did actually.

And i am not, I returned to the thread a while after you’d said you were phoning 111 to ask if your baby was ok, how exactly is that making observations on your character? Then YOU brought up yourself being unpleasent and accused me of not being genuine while refusing to answer. How is asking after your poorly baby who’s taken a turn for the worse making an observation on your character?

The tricky thing is traffic. It’s fairly close on a straight run but as the traffic builds up it’s about twenty minutes opposite direction to us then stopping there then another twenty minutes gone up to thirty then another hour home which is frustrating.

We have had a difficult few weeks and I could really have done with a hand tonight. As a rule I’m not needy at all and I do think it’s ironic that I’m the one accused of having an irredeemably unpleasant character when some of the posts aimed my way have been just awful! Like a lot of women - and let’s face it it is almost always women - you have a baby and life is turned upside down while the partner carries on much as ever. It is frustrating but it isn’t forever and of course all this is a short window. But I’d have liked to think unwell babies do take priority. Anyway I do have food and a phone and a sleeping baby. Until my battery goes. And has anyone seen my remote control?

When my children have children I sincerely hope they go home as soon as possible after working away, especially if their baby is ill and their other half has been holding the fort, even if they are working near me and I won’t see them again for months because as much as I would love to see them I don’t think I should be the priority in that situation. They can call me and say I love you, sorry your card will be late, I have posted it, that is fine, it does not need to be hand delivered because otherwise it will be late. Or even sent at all if they would prefer to call or video chat.

OP it is fine to be disappointed in his decision. And you must be exhausted which makes everything worse. I can remember the awfulness of dealing with a three month old with gastroenteritis with a toddler hanging off me whilst my husband was away for work. Yes, I could cope with it and did. No I did not wail and ask for him to fly home early. But I would have not been impressed or felt supported if he’d delayed getting home by choice at a tough time. And his mum would have given him an earful if he’d chosen to see her over me and two young children which is the mother of adults I also hope to be. I hope your little one is better soon.

I am a mother and completely disagree with this

@TeaKitten you have made thirteen posts on this thread, and most of them have been somewhat critical of me shall we say.

You think I’m unreasonable, fine, noted. Thank you. Let’s move on 👍🏻

He should have come home. Often with an unwell young baby if you’re on your own you can’t even get a drink or a toilet break if they are really clingy and you need to have time to just have 5/10 mins in a diff room if baby is crying / distressed. He can see his mum any day you and baby come first