To think childminders don’t really offer a more homely and individual experience?

[Eatingmybiscuits]

Just musing over childcare options and this comes up a lot on the debate - that a childminder is more individual to the child’s needs and can offer a home based approach.

But when I think about it in practice, the childminders I know don’t, because they can’t. So for example they attend a little music group we go to in the morning, it’s really aimed at ages 18 months to two and a half but there are children ranging from 9 months to 4. The older ones are bored and the little ones can’t really engage.

Then if a child is feeling under the weather they can’t really just take it easy as the minder has to tend to other children and take them out.

I am not saying there aren’t advantages to this sort of childcare but AIBU to say this isn’t one of them?

This is why I decided to go for a nursery tbh. It's easier for them to offer age appropriate activities.

But I would say it is more "homely". It's more like a (big) family setup.

That's not the case with the childminders I know. They do go to some playgroups and activities but where there's something age appropriate for all of their minded kids. If a child is under the weather and needs to take it easy they shouldn't be at the childminders making all the other kids sick.

Yes,it's like a big family where everyone has to fit in around the other children, rather than being an only child where everything revolves around you.

In my (limited) experience, it is often quite regimented, needing to be to keep everyone safe and occupied..

No but that’s something I’ve seen a lot on here, that a child who isn’t 100% (but not really ill, just tired or similar) can ‘take it easy on the sofa.’

The same could be said for a family with several dc though when they go out together, lots of small children have siblings at school and they have to go on the school run even if a bit unwell, or to baby groups if there is a baby in the family, the world doesn't revolve around just them, that's life. It depends on the childminder too. Until recently I looked after 2 sisters, I didn't mind any other children and it was very much a home from home experience, I had to give it up for personal reasons but I was very fond of them and am still in touch with them.

I think it really depends on the childminder. We loved ours and the other children she looked after became best friends.

If you think about it, "homelike" would often include other siblings of different ages, and balancing everyone's varying needs, including occasional boredom or being at an activity that is a bit to old. It is at nursery that you have a cohort the same age, and activities designed for that cohort - great, but not homelike.

My son went to nursery because I needed rock solid 8-6 childcare 50 weeks a year, and childminders rarely provide that, but other than that I think they might be the best setting for children up to age 3.

I think having to go along to something that you're arguably too old/young for is a part of family life. As is going along to stuff that interests a sibling and in turn that sibling is dragged along to something you like.

Being only in perfect age cohorts, doing something that someone has decided is appropriate for that cohort does not bear any resemblance to real lives of families, and doesn't allow for individuality.

I agree, one of the reasons we prefer nursery is that the rooms are tailored completely for their age group and all the activities too. A childminders with a range of ages can’t do that.

It's literally in someone else's home.

How can that not be home-like?

If they are tired and there's no planned outing then yeah they can certainly chill on the sofa.

I don't think all of them do, no. We chose a nursery because it was small and homely and family run - on a farm with lots of outdoor space, forest school, etc. Very hands on staff who took a lot of personal time with each of them especially when they were settling in. My dd napped on the chest of her key worker for the first month at 11 months because she couldn't sleep without being held.

There admittedly weren't many childminders around us, but the one who did used to come to the school was always frazzled and shouting and dragging kids along behind her everywhere trying to do all the pick ups and drop offs. It always seemed so much more stressful. Never mind the added risk of walking about in the road/car parks and driving around in her car every day - I was much more comfortable with mine being where I knew they were in a secure space with cameras and controlled entry to randoms.

I know, it’s the same in my own family! But I’m not paid childcare.

I'd say it's homely in the sense that it's like being part of a family, with siblings etc. No everything can't revolve around one child the whole time but largely the experience is more tailored to the children attending rather than a generic nursery experience.

I'm not working today but tomorrow I'm taking 2 little boys on a train ride as they love trains and nect week ŵe're going to a rabbit rescue as the little girl I have is obsessed with rabbits. She's not fussed about trains and the boys aren't bothered about rabbits but we are a little 'family' and do things together.

No but that’s something I’ve seen a lot on here, that a child who isn’t 100% (but not really ill, just tired or similar) can ‘take it easy on the sofa.’

While that may vary form CM to CM (I knew one who only had older children after school, in the day she just had 2 very similar in age), it definitely would not be the case at nursery.

I love my childminder! She is amazing, my kids are at primary though. Wraparound care 4 hours a day. She is like a 3rd granny and does loafs with the kids....walking, picnics, cooking, baking, sewing, arts and crafts, gardening.
Previous childminder for my 1st born was great too. From age 1 -3. Very loving and nurturing.
But I also had a shot one in between who'd just plonk them in front of telly all day. They vary!
I am not even joking when I say I am buying a big bunch of flowers for my current one when I go shopping today as I appreciate her and couldn't do without her!

I took the children when they were sick too if their parents were stuck, there were days when they just lay on me on the sofa, I know that's probably not the norm though, I could do it because I only looked after children from one family.

Well you have said it's not homely but then just said it is like a home but not like paid child care. Well I know which I would prefer. Nurseries are a completely unnatural environment.

There's good childminders, so-so childminders, overwhelmed childminders and bad childminders
Good nurseries, so-so nurseries, overwhelmed nurseries and bad nurseries

Theres personal preference and what is more suited to an individual child.

There is no definitive answer over what is better. It might change at different ages.

I was put off childminders because of time spent in the car for example, for school runs... whereas the local nursery took them out for daily walks. Other childminders do the school run on foot, but that wasn't possible for the local one as the local school was a mile along a road with no footpath.
I also felt there was more individual attention with the 3:1 nursery ratio (for under 2s) than a childminder with a baby, two toddlers/preschoolers, plus the wrap around children. But personal preference.

To me, homely doesn’t literally mean in the home - it’s about a chilled, comfortable sort of environment.

If you know what you prefer, use it, no one is criticising your choice(s) (although you are criticising others, I wonder why it’s acceptable this way round?)

I also felt there was more individual attention with the 3:1 nursery ratio (for under 2s) than a childminder with a baby, two toddlers/preschoolers

I guess this is my feeling which is why I’m not sure why childminders are automatically seen as superior to nurseries for this age group.

Homely yes
Individual no

I used (at various times, for logistical reasons)
3 different private day nurseries
A child minder - full time and also wrap around.
A school nursery class
And later after school club.

The nurseries were variable to be honest, but I felt my daughter got the best and most individualised care and 121 time at our first nursery.
The child minder was great, and she did have several children that ended up in the same school year group, and she had an assistant so they could split the group, so that probably helped but there is a degree of fitting in with that days plans.

What's the difference in 3:1 under 2s, and a baby + 2 toddlers? Isn't that the same?

I think if you have nine children and three members of staff that’s less pressure on one person than one person and three children even though ratios are the same.

I do think it varies on the childminder and the temperament of the child.
My daughter has always been overwhelmed in big groups and loud environments so I felt a childminder would suit her better.
I’m very lucky that the childminder we have is amazing- goes above and beyond for me and my family. She has 3 children per day, and they are all in the same year as my daughter so all trips and activities are age appropriate. I do appreciate that this is due to luck and timing though!