To think childminders don’t really offer a more homely and individual experience?

[Eatingmybiscuits]

Just musing over childcare options and this comes up a lot on the debate - that a childminder is more individual to the child’s needs and can offer a home based approach.

But when I think about it in practice, the childminders I know don’t, because they can’t. So for example they attend a little music group we go to in the morning, it’s really aimed at ages 18 months to two and a half but there are children ranging from 9 months to 4. The older ones are bored and the little ones can’t really engage.

Then if a child is feeling under the weather they can’t really just take it easy as the minder has to tend to other children and take them out.

I am not saying there aren’t advantages to this sort of childcare but AIBU to say this isn’t one of them?

More homely and individual than what?

Than a nursery? Yes, a childminder is more homely and individual than a nursery (generally speaking).

Than a nanny? No, a childminder is not more homely and individual.

You're not going to get 100% individual attention unless you have a nanny per child.

A childminder can generally offer more individualised attention than a nursery, but obviously not completely individual attention which would only be available in a setting where the ratio is 1:1.

Loved our childminder so much. She was brilliant. We were very lucky that she didn't need to max out her ratio so she never had more than three. I never felt he was doing things too old or too young for his age, cooking was amazing, his relationship with her own older children... I always felt relaxed and happy leaving him. A nursery didn't fit what we wanted for our child.

I think it depends on the child, my dd was easily overwhelmed as a baby and I felt a nursery environment would be too full on for her.

She went to a childminder from 7 months and it worked really well, she was happy going, her routine stayed much the same and it was the right mix of going out to activities and being at home playing or napping!

From 3yo she went to nursery and was ready for it then.

My childminder looked after my DC while also looking after her own kids, so my DC fitted in with what she was doing for her family, or when her own kids needed more attention DC was in a playpen, being the youngest. My DC got ill when her DC were off school with illness. Not a great setup tbh, despite the childminder being very good and well-meaning. She got annoyed if she found out I'd popped out to the shops or an exercise class during the day while DC was with her (I was paying her in a professional capacity, she wasn't doing me a favour).
Nursery was much better. DC got more attention, even with lots of other children around because the staff weren't looking after their own kids and didn't have to ferry other kids around. The sessions were more educational, probably subject to early years guidance/curriculum. Monkey magic etc came to the nursery so DC didn't miss out on those things. Obviously nursery cost more. So it depends what you want.

Our childminder was really good. She only took children for whole days, so no school runs to do, and all the children were under 4. Originally we had signed my son up at a local nursery, but he was a really slow crawler & walker - by the time I went back to work more than a year after his birth, he was still only commando crawling on his tummy. I was worried he would be stepped on in a busy nursery with lots of kids running around! 😂Childminder was definitely the right decision for him.

I agree, I felt more comfortable knowing there was a team of staff and they would not be going out and about in the car and also worried about being stuck if child minder was off sick or had an emergency. But the one I visited seemed lovely, apart from I wasn’t convinced by the setup of cots for naps but as many have said, it comes down to personal preference and circumstances. I don’t notice a perception of one being superior apart from a few parents that I’ve heard talk about them as if they were, but a small minority.

When I was a childminder, all my mindees were treated as family, I never maxed out on numbers the only school run was for my own children. We went out to various groups each week and meet up with other childminders daily. If I knew someone in their group was poorly I did not meet them as I did not want to get it plus did not want to expose my little ones to it either. All activities were based upon their interests. But if they were poorly and just wanted to sleep/ sit on the sofa all day then my stance was they were not well enough to attend so would need to stay at home. My policy’s stated they had to well enough to take part in day’s activities, I would not cancel my plans because xxxxx was not up to it / felt unwell as it would be unfair on the other little ones who would be looking forward to the activities to just cancel as xx was poorly.

Homely, yes. Family like, yes.
Individual experience, not necessarily any different to nurseries.
The biggest difference is that often children play with, and have to consider the needs of, a broader range of ages.

Sometimes they play the big sister, sometimes they are the little one and sometimes they see child minder's husband coming in for lunch etc. The set up is familiar but can offer surprises.

Activities are usually there to meet individual development levels. Kids hone a skill by teaching it to others so them choosing to play with a younger child, a game they liked years ago, is healthy.

Nurseries can offer continuity if the child minder is ill or has to attend a funeral etc. Do many child carers have backup, qualified carers to step in?

My childminder is an extension of our family. My girls love her and she loves them. I would be completely lost without her. She used to take them to various groups when they were little. During lockdown she used to let my girls walk her dog with her. I could get some work done, they saw her and the dog.
She has driven them to dancing exams during the day and all sorts. We are very lucky to have her around!

Depends. Dd1 hated nursery and totally changed personality. We moved her to a cm 4 weeks later and she was back to her normal self. Cm had her own dc who was a year older and looked after dd and another dc the same age. Very homely and lovely. Some cms run things more like nurseries and some are awful.

There’s no simple direct comparison imo.

A childminder with a small number of mindees can be a much more homely environment than a large nursery with a high staff turnover.

Equally a struggling childminder with a difficult mix of ages will be less homely than a well staffed nursery who can devote time to each child.

Childcare settings vary one by one.

For a small period of time my DD went to nursery 2 days and childminder other 2 days. DD loved both but they definitely provided 2 different types of experiences for her.

I was always under the impression that childminders gave a more tailored education and care for the child because of the group size... but I didnt find that to be the case. Though childminder took really good care of her, the 'curriculum' was very repetitive and basic. She wasn't really learning or doing anything new, a lot of that was coming from nursery. Though the childminder had a smaller group, there were varied ages, which meant acitivies were catered to all but at nursery shes in her own age group and is being taught accordingly. I also didn't really get that whole 'homely' feel but maybe that was just my childminder.

I think it really depends on the child and what their needs are.

We use a nanny - much more homely (actually in our own home) and tailored completely to my own children’s needs (it’s cheaper too for 2 or 3 children).

I adored my childminder. I did put my eldest (an end of July summer born) in a school nursery at 3 because I could as was in Mat leave, but I kept my youngest with the childminder until he almost 5. I loved that he went to playgroup 3 mornings a week, that he went to the supermarket and ran errands, visited her grandma in the old people’s home, went to her children’s class assemblies and dental appointments, the farm, library, MOT, other childminder’s settings for celebrations like Polish Christmas. There were a couple of other children a similar age on various days and my sons adored her. My eldest still talks about his time with her and has written to her. He was with her for almost 4 years minus the school holidays. She looked after him with a broken leg and chicken pox. I was a reception class teacher and Early Years lead and he got everything he needed and more from her. It was right for him and my circumstances and aligned with my views. You need to do what’s right for you and your children.

I think it depends on what parents value as to which suit them better.

For me the following were important

1. We have no family nearby and needed reliable childcare. Our nursery was open every day except bank holidays and the week between Christmas and New Year. And it had been running for years and had staff who had been there a long time. My kids went there from age 9 months to 11 years (the nursery did wrap around care for primary school) and there were many members of staff who were there the whole time.

In comparison childminders have their own holidays so you have to fit round those. They also don't always do the job for a long time, socially I know people who have done childminding for a few years while their kids were small then stopped when they got older.

2. I wasn't bothered about a homely environment, they were at home with me and DH for 4 days a week and got that then. At nursery they mixed with other children, did loads of different age appropriate activities, had access to a gorgeous big child friendly garden with a big climbing frame, sand pit, water play, veg patch, tarmaced area that could be played on throughout the year etc etc. The babies had their own section of garden. They were outside most of the time and played traditional group games like 'What's the Time Mr Wolf' and 'I sent a letter to my love'. They did day trips to the local theatre and library. It was an excellent nursery (it was graded outstanding by Ofsted while my kids were there) and they were able to provide a range of activities that could stretch the more able kids, several of the staff were qualified teachers. For me the professionalism of the staff and the number of staff with different strengths was the important thing. A single childminder would struggle to provide such an enriched environment.

Nurseries and childminders obviously do vary and it's up to parents to choose the childcare that meets their needs. Both have features that will appeal to some parents more than others.

Completely agree! Most childminders I’ve seen out and about at rhyme time/soft play have been like this. It’s worrying that this is how they are happy to be in public! I dread to think how some of the ones I’ve witnessed speak to children in their own homes. Last week at rhyme time I witnessed a childminder shouting (at no one in particular) for someone to watch three of their children (all 2+) whilst she changed one of the children’s nappy. Nobody responded (as we were all looking after our own children - I did signpost her to a member of staff to help) and she left them unattended in the soft play area anyway!! One 3 year old dived headfirst, shoes on, into the baby ballpit where under 1s were playing.

That’s not to say you can’t get good childminders but I do feel like there is more accountability at nurseries. I would only personally use a childminder if I knew them myself or they came from a close family/friend recommendation.

I’ve done both and now my girls are at school I see no difference in there learning to any other children.

Their happiness and if they enjoy going somewhere is more important.

I have been a childminder for 20 years and I can absolutely confirm that for very young babies and children, we are the perfect choice of childcare for families.
Smaller ratios, out and about every day at group sessions, community events and activities, woodlands, parks, local places of interest, our allotment, visiting residents of a local care home, forest school activities etc, close working relationships with families so that each child has the best individual care based on their interests and age and stage. We follow the same curriculum as nurseries and preschools, have professional training, are sometimes more qualified than nursery nurses and many are mothers ourselves so have added experience of understanding child development. We are key adults in the children’s lives, providing a constant for them, not ever changing key workers. We are able to offer a home from home environment which is cosier, more relaxed, less busy and chaotic and much more condusive to allowing the children to learn through play and prepare the them to be lifelong learners at school and beyond.
They will have plenty of years within a classroom environment when they go into the education system. Childminders can offer an extension to home for little people and with much more ability to manage the children in smaller groups.
I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the jist! 😁
I have to say that I am very lucky that in my area, we have a very strong childminding group and so I have access to all of the activities that we organise for the children, meeting up with at least one other childminder every day so that the children are able to form social circles of friends in larger groups and I have support when needed.

I think it all depends on your opinion.
I'm a childminder. I offer home from home care. Yes, sometimes the points you raise around activities not being solely for the age is correct but generally we only have 2-4 children a day and most of them are between 9 months and 3 turning four.

Personally I design my week with certain days I've got bigger kids we go to a soft play, if I've got mainly smaller ones we might go to a role play center. We go out every day and there's always a way to include everyone.

I don't take poorly children probably on similar guidelines to a nursery but I'm probably less strict around temperatures, teething and general low level unwell than a lot of the nurseries I know locally.

The plus points are I know my children inside and out, I know their behaviour, their way of communicating, they see me as an aunty. I get face times and phone calls when they aren't with me to show me things they're doing, calls from parents for advice late at night if something is wrong, we become a little community and form strong bonds that stay long after the child has left me. In my opinion it's so much more than the activities and education side, and that's the main difference to me.

And I'm much cheaper than my local day nurseries 🤣

I wouldn’t go to a childminder, I go to playgroup and the childminders there are really not nice, I hear them gossiping and talking about kids mums, also not very patient with the children. Out of 4 or 5 of them that go to the playgroup there is only 1 lady who I would trust, she’s lovely and you can tell how good she is at her job. I can’t believe the others, they sit on their arse drinking tea with poison oozing out their pours. Honestly just not nice people. All middle aged woman who just seem fed up of their jobs.

I was put off childminders when I was on maternity as well, some were okay but some were awful. I had a friend who was a CM for a few years, she was extremely popular and had a big waiting list. She disliked the children enormously. Im sure the same could be true in a nursery, it was just knowing it.

I did use a CM for wrap round for the last few years of primary. DD hated it because of the small ones and endless baby films and she couldn’t get away from them. She was great in lots of ways but she never ever took the children anywhere apart from the school run. She did do flexible care for a nurse including overnights which was nice.

She also really pushed for you to pick children up early, I had aimed to get DD early once but there was a major crash and it took me hours and hours to get there and I got there at 6 on the dot and she was very unhappy because she wanted her ‘weekend to start’. Nursery wouldn’t have had an issue - you pay for the time it’s yours!
I also left DD there late when I was painting her room and she was rude about that too. Luckily we left shortly afterwards

It depends massively on the minder IMO. I went to groups with my lot but did a lot of other bits depending on the day/kids/individual needs. The minder I used for mine when I relocated and switched jobs was amazing and didn't attend any groups, they were mostly out in the community, hanging out with other minders out and about and being in nature most of the time. But I wouldn't have used the minders I knew when I was minding as the vast majority of them just went to the same toddler groups 5 days a week, morning and afternoon before going on the school run and heading to their houses.

There's conflicting evidence on this and obviously not every situation fits every child. This is particularly the case in children with disabilities.

https://www.hanen.org/Helpful-Info/Articles/Does-child-care-make-a-difference-to-childrens-de.aspx

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/children-nursery-home-parents-study-develop-oxford-london-school-economics-a7420986.html

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/02/nurseries-childcare-pre-school-cortisol

What we do know is that children with high quality childcare have better outcomes than those with low quality childcare. I'm pretty sure that includes parental input too.

@BestBadger that research is based on asking parents if their children have developed certain skills such as cutting up paper, and then talks about the benefits of various activities that nurseries often do.
Children from about 3 need to be around other children. And children need to develop physical skills and other skills. But the conclusion this means children are better off at nursery is not true.
It is true where parents are neglectful or overwhelmed then nurseries are often recommended for children.
For under 2.5/3 the research shows a good childminder is better.

I also wonder if the not so good childminders are the ones going to every parents and toddler group every day as it is easier?