To think childminders don’t really offer a more homely and individual experience?

[Eatingmybiscuits]

Just musing over childcare options and this comes up a lot on the debate - that a childminder is more individual to the child’s needs and can offer a home based approach.

But when I think about it in practice, the childminders I know don’t, because they can’t. So for example they attend a little music group we go to in the morning, it’s really aimed at ages 18 months to two and a half but there are children ranging from 9 months to 4. The older ones are bored and the little ones can’t really engage.

Then if a child is feeling under the weather they can’t really just take it easy as the minder has to tend to other children and take them out.

I am not saying there aren’t advantages to this sort of childcare but AIBU to say this isn’t one of them?

So you have a blanket ban on cms?

But you shout bingo when someone says that in their experience nurseries are negative?

OK then...

Not intentionally. I’ve said that there are some great ones and some real advantages to this type of childcare. I just think the downsides aren’t acknowledged.

@TheTwirlyPoos huh? Sorry?

It isn’t my ban. The groups are nothing to do with me other than I sometimes go to them 🤷‍♀️

I was in a car, driving, I don’t use my phone when driving. I could have taken the call through my car but wasn’t good at making calls out on it, especially scrolling for her number whilst driving, even slowly.
And honestly it was a constant issue of paying for her to be there until 6 (I almost never left her there till then) and being pressurised to pick her up much much earlier all the time, especially when I couldn’t leave work until 5.

Ikwym op, but c/m’s will definitely offer a daily experience closer to a ‘home from home’ type thing. Ratios are smaller, most c/m’s go out with the children everyday to a playground or soft play. My c/m took the children to the city farm once a month, she also took them to museums a couple of times a year, it was a fantastic service I must admit 😄 Yes some do school runs but the parents who moan about that will need that service in a couple of years.
Having a child surrounded by 10 other children, in the same room ( no matter how big it is ) & hardly ever going out is not natural. But of course some parents prefer that nursery experience.
No one will ever know exactly what goes on all day every day at a c/m’s or a nursery - some children will be left to cry for longer than they should be yes, I’m sure that happens, but unless you stay at home with your kids until they start school you just have to accept that.

I much prefer a nursery setting. The routines suit my DS. I can't comment for all nurseries or all childminders but a few childminders I know of are also doing school drop offs so the smaller ones are bundled up and taken off. There is only the one adults caring for them so they don't get to know other people. My DS bonded well with his key worker but also had a very special relationship with one of the other adults at nursery. Nursery has more time to set up various varied play settings too.

Why not answer the question? Basically you were later than you told her, left your child unhappy and didnt support your child by updating the cm on your delay so she could distract her and offer her comfort that annoyed your cm and your annoyed because you have paid for the hours but can't understand the upset you caused in simply calling to say I'm delayed. And by the sound of it you also send in sick children. Get a grip and work in partnership rather than against your cm ....I've had parents arrive 2 hours after their contracted time but as they updated me they arrived to a fed happy child and a meal to take home.....but I guess you will say I'm lying because CMS are evil.

Next time pull over and call....I'm sure in 2 hours there was an opportunity

Around here, quite a few childminders run like small nurseries. They certainly charge similar amounts. They’re very popular with long waiting lists so I guess people like that sort of set up.

You can get CMS who work with assistants or cominders with up to 4 adults. You can also get ones who network my charges have 16 close friends they see 3 times a week at least and 3 other adults. We have group story and singing, meals, outings to woods for forest school that we do ourselves. In my home there is a home corner, reading den, light table, access to drawing, painting, cutting, glue etc. I always have a tough tray. When we are out the children take photos of things that interest them which we use in crafts, make puzzles, put into tough trays etc rather than a theme planned months in advance that all must follow regardless of interest.
My children normally stay to reception age and teachers comment how well prepared they are.

Oh I much preferred a CM for my son. It was like leaving him with a family member. He was 9mths when I went back to work so I wanted a more homely setting, the CM I picked had 4 grown up children and had been doing CM professionally for years. I was more reassured by that than letting a spotty teenager with just a childcare BTEC look after my baby.

She took him to the beach, to farms, to adventure playgrounds etc... whereas the local nursery just have inside and outside the nursery to explore.

She was better and more sensible with sickness too, my nephew was constantly being sent home from nursery at the first whiff of illness but my CM was like a propper mum and would give him calpol and see how he felt.

Ultimately, it's a good thing that we have a variety of childcare options in this country. Different things suit different parents, children and lifestyles/work patterns.

It's no different to me meeting a family sometimes and deciding that they wouldn't be a good fit for me or the children I look after, possibly due to different parenting styles or expectations.

It doesn't need to have a whole thread slagging of one type, whether that's childminders or nurseries. We can only select from the options local to us so it doesn't really matter what others choose.

Just pick the option that you like best and be happy.

When I go to a toddler group it's the one time in a week for me to stand back and observe the children in a setting I have not controlled. I watch what they do and how they interact. I will give support if it's needed but it's important to give them space and to allow some conflict resolution as well as for them to trip and get up just as they will at school.
So many adults helicopter their children not allowing any physical space stepping in to every activity especially craft telling the child stick that their, hold it like that etc. so no learning is happening. If you have a 3 year old in one area and a 4 year old in the other there maybe times you need to call out be careful etc....just like they do at Nursery.

You do know that was another poster? She told you what happened. She’d paid until 6, but the CM had a go at her for picking up after 5. You think that’s acceptable. I don’t 🤷‍♀️

So, you are the perfect childminder, providing perfect care for all ages and stages. It just becomes a bit hard to believe. I’m definitely not perfect at all times in my role.

I don’t even use childcare at the moment so I don’t know why you’re accusing me of sending in ill children. This is where I wonder. You’ve made up a load of stuff following my posts. How do I know you’re not making up what the reception teachers say too? (And how do you even know …?)

I love our childminder- years after they left! She still sends them birthday cards. They went to her from 6 till 13. Her home was a home, but her I suppose dining room space was a craft and play area. Her garden had allotment areas and they could garden as well as play.

She understood how kids work. Picking them up from school she knew they'd be tired and she let them decompress. She taught them how to make samosas and how to make origami storks.

But for me, the benefit of a childminder over nursey or after school club was that they grew up with her, near our home. My daughter went on to do work experience with her in year 10. Both children pop over regularly to say hello because they love her. I can't think of a higher accolade than a 16 and 17 year old still popping in to have a cup of tea with their childminder.

Sorry to derail the thread but I think it's somewhat relevant.

As you are someone with experience in several nurseries of varying quality, would you please mind sharing what clues one might be able to look out for to get an idea of how good a nursery is when deciding where to send your child?

I know a lot of it is just perhaps a general vibe you get but are there any specific red / green flags you'd be looking out for yourself that parents might not think of?

Of course.

Your instinct will more often than not be correct. I would visit at multiple times of day. A good nursery should allow it. Go in the morning, go in the afternoon.

1. Staff turnover. How long have the staff been there? Do they seem happy? Look for a mixture of ages

2. Do the adults wear outdoor shoes inside, or do they change to slippers? Much better if everyone has ‘indoor shoes’ as outdoor shoes are unhygienic for crawling babies.

3. Listen to how the manager talks. Do they seem to really know the staff and children?

4). Ask how often the babies go outside, and what kind of trips they go on.

5. Did I say visit? Visit, visit, visit. Visit each potential setting 3 times if you can at different times of day.

I would pick a smaller setting over a bigger one if possible for a young child. Busier ones can be quite overwhelming and overstimulating. OFSTED ratings can be accurate but you conversely find that the ones that have got required improvement or good (depending on what for) are often the ones trying the hardest. Outstanding ones can sit back on their laurels and become quite unpleasant cultures. Not always, but sometimes. Hope this helps. Xx

Thanks to where I live I've seen poor nurseries in action and outstanding ones. I also know parents who used one of the poor ones.

I managed to find a good CM for my DD and also used a good nursery for her. She went part-time to the childminder starting as a baby, and then went part-time to both from age 3.

The childminder cared for children from babies to 11. She had her own grown up large family of children. The nursery only had children 2-4 years old. The nursery staff were all over 21. There was a high turnover of those under 40 but luckily most of the staff were older than that.

It is interesting to see what different skills and learning experiences they both gave DD.

The downside of nursery was the large number of sickness bugs they gave DD. At the CMs even though there were children who attended school present after school she was sick about once a year.

My DD also found nursery boring after a year of attending. However she never complained of being bored at the CMs.

Both providers were good at not instilling gender stereotypes into DD. The nursery had male staff and the CM is good at fixing things.

As my DD is now at reception I think going to the CM helped a lot in allowing her to relate and play with children younger and older than herself. Part of the ethos of my DD's school is they help others including those who aren't in their age group. DD is one of the few who instantly doesn't have a problem with this.

Ex-early years inspector here. If I had my time all over again, I'd always 100% opt for a childminder.

I apologise for mixing you up with the other poster.
I know what the teachers say because the parents tell me and the teachers tell me when we are working in partnership.
Obviously over the years there have been times when as part of my self reflection I decide I could have done better but I'm telling you how my days in general work.
You obviously have decided for your own reasons that any nursery would be better than any childminder regardless. People have their own reasons and that's fine. As I said there are good bad etc in all types of settings the only difference is nurseries are hidden behind doors so can be harder to spot and people assume that a ratio applies to each room not over the building thinking 3 members of staff will always be working in each room for example or that the 17 year old apprentice who left school last month will have a pair of eyes on her constantly.
You have to have trust in your setting and select it carefully not just by a lable.

Yanbu. The childminders I saw at baby classes and toddler groups really put me off. I used to have a weird neighbour who was a childminder with giant dog and seriously dodgy boyfriend.

Kids get far more attention and support at a good nursery. They can have 1 to 1 time when needed.

You obviously have decided for your own reasons that any nursery would be better than any childminder regardless

No. I’ve said throughout there are brilliant childminders. But there are downsides, just as there are to nurseries.

I would be really upset to be judged for collecting my child on time.

Nope.

Depends on the childminder and nursery.

My DD had her CM to herself for about 3 months on one day she attended. The reason was that the space was filled but there was a delay in the kids starting. (In fact she waited 6 weeks before my DD started. )

The CM would wait longer than she was legally required to before she took on another under 1 when she had the space.

But you've ignored the suggestion that it wasn't about collection time but about seeing the de-stress of a child expecting being collected early and not knowing if they should be fed, start an activity etc I bet the poster would have been mad at being made to wait while child spent 30 minutes finishing say or had been fed if she were planning a dinner.
Your thread does not read like you think there are any good sides

My childminder only had three dcs ( my 2 and one other) and didn’t do school runs etc. It was a lovely home from home for them and she is still part of our lives as are her children. She took them even when they had chickenpox. My friends had their children in a nursery and were called so many times to come and pick up sick kids that it became unsustainable for them to work full time.