To think childminders don’t really offer a more homely and individual experience?

[Eatingmybiscuits]

Just musing over childcare options and this comes up a lot on the debate - that a childminder is more individual to the child’s needs and can offer a home based approach.

But when I think about it in practice, the childminders I know don’t, because they can’t. So for example they attend a little music group we go to in the morning, it’s really aimed at ages 18 months to two and a half but there are children ranging from 9 months to 4. The older ones are bored and the little ones can’t really engage.

Then if a child is feeling under the weather they can’t really just take it easy as the minder has to tend to other children and take them out.

I am not saying there aren’t advantages to this sort of childcare but AIBU to say this isn’t one of them?

Our childminder was amazing. And the kids loved going there. She used to take them all to groups, had a massive garden and a room in her house that the could chill in. They used to snuggle up on the sofa at chill time.

I wanted a family type experience for my child. Its normal for a child to be one of maybe 3 of different ages and not always get the "perfect" activity for their age. I was happy for them to be taken on school run and enjoy having the bigger kids around after school.

I didn't want them going to a nursery where my 3.5 year old was put in a different room to the 1 year old.

I wanted one caregiver. Its worked perfectly for us.

I used a childminder for my firstborn. She had the best time. Childminder was absolutely wonderful. I have absolutely no regrets. It was the right setting for her.

We went with nursery because I felt there were more checks and balances with more key workers and management in the room. I'd heard very bad things about several local childminders, like having screens on all day, feeding children food they were allergic to, being aggressive with the children and I couldn't afford to try 5 or so before setting on one. My DC have loved nursery, they've both had the same key workers 4 years apart and consider them like family, they're closer to the key workers than their grandparents who they never see and the key workers now babysit for us regularly.

Also im pretty rational about things.

In a nursery, a hell of a lot of the fee you pay is going to paying for an owner to make a return on their investment, for the rent or mortgage of a building, for furniture and toys. That means what's left over to actually pay staff is less, than compared to a childminder working from their own home, with the furniture they own anyway, and usually the toys they have from their own kids. This is why nurseries often have a lot of younger less experienced staff, because once those staff have a few years experience and their own home, they can earn far far more as a childminder.

Our childminder (18 yrs ago) was a pain in the arse. Had her own toddler at home too, was not flexible, went on holiday when she knew I couldn't (I'm a teacher) etc etc. Was delighted when she got pregnant again and we had to put ours in nursery.

The only thing that really put me off was that most childminders have a few weeks off a year and so they basically determine when you go on holiday. And the sickness. At a nursery, that’s their problem. With a childminder, it’s your problem. Not helpful if you’ve got a job you need to be at!! I’m also not a huge fan of my kid spending a lot of their day on someone else’s school run. It wasn’t for me.

It’s not the point Jannier.

One of my children went through a (thankfully very brief phase) of being distressed at drop off. It was horrible and the idea that someone would be sniffy about having to work or being stuck in traffic or yes wanting a break, is awful.

It's changed with nurseries due to staff shortages.

We met a couple of people we know whose children had random weeks off nursery due to staff being sick. The nursery couldn't find staff cover so closed the nursery down completely. (There are threads on MN of well children being sent home were the staff claim the child is sick. It's suspected there are not enough staff.)

The childminder we used was never sick herself.

With holidays we got loads of notice and to be fair once DD started nursery which also had holidays, one provider generally made up for the other apart from Christmas week.

I struck gold with my childminder but I think that is because she operates a bit like a nursery. She doesn't take the kids out at all (which I like) and has a lot of kids. Obviously it isn't just her, she has about 3 members of staff who work there too and they do loads of activities throughout the day. If a child isn't feeling it, they can just go and chill on the sofa.

But what you’ve described is an experience more akin to home - being in age appropriate groups with activities set accordingly is absolutely a hallmark of more institutional care. You also only have one main carer.

@May487 This is really helpful thank you for this!

It's not about being sniffly about working it's about parents not thinking that telling a child they will go home early then not updating the carer so they can distract the child with activities or feed them to reduce the child's upset. Most of us don't care what you do in paid hours as long as your contactable in an emergency but don't say to the child your coming early then not at least let us know things have changed....ideally keep it a surprise if this could happen.
How can you say your upset about difficult drop offs but the cm can not be upset about dealing with a distressed child who's parent didn't turn up when they said? .....I've known parents decide just to pop to the nail shop rather than the promised early collection thinking the child won't notice ....they notice.

One local nursery cancelled 18 funded sessions this year due to staffing and one boiler repair.

That sounds lovely!

@LucyLaundry you sound like a great childminder!