To think childminders don’t really offer a more homely and individual experience?

[Eatingmybiscuits]

Just musing over childcare options and this comes up a lot on the debate - that a childminder is more individual to the child’s needs and can offer a home based approach.

But when I think about it in practice, the childminders I know don’t, because they can’t. So for example they attend a little music group we go to in the morning, it’s really aimed at ages 18 months to two and a half but there are children ranging from 9 months to 4. The older ones are bored and the little ones can’t really engage.

Then if a child is feeling under the weather they can’t really just take it easy as the minder has to tend to other children and take them out.

I am not saying there aren’t advantages to this sort of childcare but AIBU to say this isn’t one of them?

I used to work in nurseries. I would not use nurseries.
There are good and not good childminders. But I think a good childminder is always the best option.

Absolutely this. Our childminder only ever had two at home with her during the day and they were around the same age so she could do age appropriate things with them - playgroups, rhyme time etc but also things like walking to the postbox and posting a letter. She was friends with another childminder down the road so they'd occasionally all have play dates together.

My youngest, who was with her before starting school and then for wraparound care once she did, still misses her - we go and visit for a cup of tea during the holidays and there is still so much affection between them. The kids did get that down time after school if they needed it and they felt part of the family. If you get the right childminder for you it can be brilliant. I never cared about having their EYFS book filled in - I wanted them to be able to have a cuddle if they needed it, and feel like they were at home - with access to a climbing frame, and to help feed the chickens, and a sofa to chill out on if it had been a long day. That's what we got, in spades.

I'm a childminder of 24 years. I'm home from home- which means I don't set up activities for the children to do, I follow their interest and we do things accordingly. I'm not a nursery and I don't set my rooms up like one. We go with the flow,and I follow the childrens lead. We're busy all day, we have outings and school runs, however some days we may have more chilled days, with a film and popcorn.....all depends on the children. Any activities we do are adapted to each child's age and ability. A lot of children prefer my setting to a nursery because they don't like bigger groups of children and get more one to one care.

My DC went to a childminder for a while. I liked how small-scale it was: just the lady and a few kids. The nurseries we looked round felt too big and I thought they might be overwhelming, although the facilities were way better.

It was a pain though, because when she was ill or one of her own children was ill she cancelled, which was a lot. So I think it is more family-like in the sense it is a smaller setting but a mixed blessing IMO.

Really really depends- I had an amazing one when my son was under 2 but it was almost like having a much cheaper nanny as she had 2 school age children pre and post school plus my son ( from 5 months) and the other mum was a teacher , so she only had them in drive and drabs in holidays too. She totally adored him and treated him like her own- did more with him than I would have done in all honesty too - she was a 40 odd year old Spanish mum and weaned him too all on hand blended food!

However I've known friends have some not great ones who it seemed a bit like a battery farm with, not always that reliable too - and in those situations I would rather they were at nursery.

How is a parent needing the reliability of childcare so they can go to work to earn money to feed and clothe their child not what's best for the child? Think a little.

I have seen a lot of childminders in my area because I attended lots of groups with my son before he started nursery. I was seriously unimpressed.

Lazy, not watching what children were doing at playgroups, relying on other adults in the room to look out for them, and worst of all seeing a few of them roughly handling children or talking to them in a manner I would never talk to my child.

You know the wrong childminders then, or you have unrealistic expectations of childcare.

I've worked in childcare for over 40 years. The last 25 of them at home childminding. The only type of childcare which gives individual care and bespoke experiences is a nanny. Otherwise 'group care' is always going to be less geared to individual needs.

I've always had a range of ages from birth to 15. Most children have come to me for their whole lives until they go to secondary education. I'm definitely more flexible than a nursery and I work 50 weeks a year. I can count on 2 hands the amount of times I've had to close unexpectedly in the past 25yrs. I cook all their meals, we all eat together at the table, there are activities for every age range. I've had plenty of children having a 'sofa day' because they are under the weather. I've had teens wandering up to mine for dinner after school then taking themselves home or hanging about for the company. When they were smaller we went to a few activities that we all chose and all enjoyed, or we went for walks and activities on our own.

They are nearly all at college or uni now, they are still friends with each other and my sons, I am still friends with their parents. The parents who have met here are also friends. The oldest child I looked after is now 27, still in touch, still comes round regularly and refers to me as his second mum. The youngest is in yr 9 and often comes for dinner after school and hangs around for a couple of hours.

In addition to childminding I help the parents. I take in parcels for them, I make appointments, help with homework, pick up prescriptions, take their children to routine appointments, feed the children a 2 course home cooked dinner and often give the parents some to take home for themselves. I am very happy to try and help make their working lives easier with less to do when they get home.

And I'm not unusual in my holistic approach to childcare, plenty of childminders do the same.

You have to find childcare that suits your child and your lifestyle. It doesn't actually matter what type of setting it is as long as it's the best for your child. I hate these posts slagging off 'all childminders' because they once saw a childminder doing something wrong.

A good childcare facility will allow your child to thrive and you to work without the worry of what your child is doing or how they are being cared for.

Mine went to a childminder as I wanted them to have care from more of a "mum" like figure in a homelike environment than a nursery could provide.

They both thrived and adored my childminder. It did them no harm to have to fit in with the daily routine of a household and it would be my preferred form of childcare even now.

It depends on the childminder. My mum was a childminder for many years and it wasn't like you describe at all. She didn't have a mix of ages so any activities/outings were suitable for all the kids.

Then if a child is feeling under the weather they can’t really just take it easy as the minder has to tend to other children and take them out

But that would also be the case if a child was at home with siblings! The parent of an 'under the weather' two-year-old can't drop everything for them to take it easy if they also have a baby and a four-year-old.

If they're so under the weather that they're not well enough to go out, they shouldn't be in childcare that day at all really. Most childminders won't look after a sick child, any more than a nursery will.

More so than it use to be due to having to do the same planning, reviewing, developing paperwork as nurseries and preschool. Not to mention policies and risk assessments. There's definitely less opportunity to be spontaneous

Children do typically get more opportunity to visit different environments - groups days out etc. whereas in nursery they are largely stuck in one place.

Our Childminder is fantastic so in our circumstances we’re very happy with our decision. She has 3 children at most at a time, is flexible for us, and is able to get out and about with them to days out and trips a lot. Fewer children at a time mean they all get activities that work for their age.

Swings and roundabouts, I suppose.

I love that when DS is there, the whole family treat him as one of them. I have built up a friendship with the person who cares for my child at a young age.

Yep, I've thought. Still think the same.

I can only comment on my childminder who had been a CM for 37 years, and a regional ofsted supervisor.

She was fab. usually had 5 children and always managed to have age appropriate activities for all of them, but she had obviously spent a lot of time developing mixed-age activities where each child could take part at their own level.

She also provided a very personal kind of care, knowing her children so well that she could adapt as necessary. She was the kindest person I have ever met, even keeping ds with her until 9pm once when I got stuck in London when there was a terror alert.

As a single mum I would not have managed without her. ♥

We opted for Childminder for a home from home approach. Has been brilliant. Each child treated as an individual, older children and younger children mucking in with each other and learning to get along regardless of age or ability, individual food requirements dealt with... and easy transition into nursery, then school and then secondary school as they all knew each other having grown up with each other.

I wouldn't swap it for the world. It isn't nursery but it is certainly a lot better for those children who need a more nurturing environment

It depends what you mean by individual attention. I'm a cm and I know the children inside out, I know if they're feeling under the weather, know exactly how they like to be soothed and I also get very close to the families so you know what is going on at home. If there's a stressful situation I can reassure and help the family and offer advice. I can be flexible around the child's daily mood. I can chat with a parent during the day to find out how their child slept as they've been a bit cranky and be a bit more flexible than a nursery if they're under the weather or have a temp, runny poo etc. Wouldn't get any of that with a nursery. Obv there are decent nursery staff out there but you certainly wouldn't get that level of individual care.

MN childminders put me off using them. They always insist they are amazing and fabulous. So much better than those nasty nurseries.

Like the above childminder who has ‘chilled days with films and popcorn’ - sounds lovely doesn’t it? Until someone chokes on the popcorn and you rephrase it as kids stuck in front of the TV all afternoon.

Mine did. She was amazing, and years on we still maintain a close friendship with her. She juggled the kids needs like you would in a family of children, and my child adored her and loved spending time there. She was reliable, and great with the children. It's possible, and I would have chosen her over a nursery anytime. It was the best experience of early years child care for us, so it's possible to do.

I had a terrific childminder. She used to run a trading floor in the City. Extraordinary woman and she made a wonderful place for the children she cared for. It was better than a nursery, imo.

I suppose it’s more homely in the sense that they do day to day stuff like the school run twice a day. But I agree, much preferred nursery where they could do activities tailored to their own age group. Different things suit different people.

@Eatingmybiscuits I would not be keen on kids watching TV, but plenty of nurseries do this too. I would be fine with popcorn though.
If there are enough childminders in your area though, you can choose someone who is closer to how you want to parent.
So I hate the over involved parenting that does not leave children to play without constantly being followed about and interacted with. I do not think it is good for children. I would not want a childminder that does this, and nurseries never will as they can't.

Completely depends on the minder - my son’s childminder was the absolute best, she was like a second mum to him and a big sister to me… she didn’t go to any toddler groups, every day was either at home or occasionally park/coffee shop.

My youngest is now in nursery and although they’re great, it’s not a second home for him at all, more like a school for toddlers.

Depends what you want out of a childminder. I used one because I wanted my kids to go to groups, have fun days out and enjoy the nice homely feel while i was at work. They were always crafting, playing outside and doing messy play. They started preschool at 3 to get all the educational bits, i would rather they had some lovely experiences before they’re plunged into the world of education for the next 15 years.

I disagree, we love our childminder, she is amazing when she does activites she provides for all age groups, she is very flexible and it's definitely like a home from home. She takes them to restaurants, national trusts, nursing homes, farms, zoos, shops and community events/groups.

We went with her after a bad experience with a nursery.

Our nursey never let a child sleep/chill on a sofa if they were not themselves they would just send them home.

Our childminder offers a holistic approach, baby wears and excepts reusable nappies. She also recently received outstanding on her recent inspection.

I would be without her and she has a long waiting list, so others obviously think the same.

That is exactly what you describe though. A home from home experience means fitting in with the family. I loved the fact mine had to walk along to the school run when they were tiny. The childminder knew them all individually. It wasn't like nursery at all. It was much more like being with siblings of different ages at home. It was good for them, in my opinion.