To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

[Rosebyanothername19]

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

He's rude and being really out of order to now refuse to do the minimal amount of household jobs that are his responsibility because of it.

I like this idea, do this every day indefinitely.

And if he refuses to do washing up just use plastic plates.

@pootlin I didn't say any of that. But that's not what the op asked. Don't really understand why you're getting so worked up about it.

No one’s worked up. Just making the point that you are missing the bigger picture.

the whole thing isn't ideal though. I wouldn't cook something i know my DH really doesn't like, but then he wouldn't do that for me either. And definitely making a fuss in front of the DCs isn't modelling good behaviour.

So I'd suggest to him that since he's fussy, he cooks 2 days, you cook 2 days and on Fridays you each take a turn with one of the DCs so they can learn to cook. Weekends you can decide how to handle it.

But the whole family takes part in meal planning. And the team that don't cook, clear up the table and the last bits in the kitchen (since you will be teaching the DCs how to clear up as they go)

It's not just children that don't eat things they don't like... most normal people don't eat things they don't like either.

If my dh did this he'd be cooking every other day from here on in.

There's nothing wrong with saying you're not keen on something be by the way you've written your post he sounds like he was being g plain rude about it.

So what if it isn't "cooking" according to your definition. You've entirely missed the point here.

I'd never cook for someone who was so spoiled they couldn't cope with beans on toast or the occasional pre-seasoned meal and was rude and dismissive when presented with it. Especially if I was working full time and also left with 90% of household and parenting chores.

He’s a grown man if he didn’t like the meal on offer he’s free to sort out his own meal.

He should have tried it at least.

Slow cooker is your friend on days like that. I had four kids. Swimming, football, dancing, music, French. athletics, riding, cubs, scouts, brownies and a DH that worked away more than he was home every month.
I used to be up early and put the evening meal on and prep the veg before everyone was off to school and I was off to work on days when things clashed or I was child minding. Then just potatoes or rice or cous-cous, pasta etc to put on.

I would also suggest he learns to cook. DH is a much better cook than he used to be. Practice makes reasonable and he makes a great roast now.😁

Served with cous cous?! Or was the original one? Honestly just try to get a couple recipes that take twenty minutes to throw together and as a rule he cooks half the time. You're noone's maid.

If you wfh I would eat a big meal at lunch, cook something for the kids in the evening, have a sandwich yourself and do nothing for the selfish bugger.

I have voted you are being unreasonable for the below

My partner would of been very respectful and tried his dinner if it was something he didn’t like he would of then politely declined to eat it, however I have the same respect for him that he has for me so would not of served him something that I knew he didn’t like last time

respect working two ways

as a child I was forced to eat and was told I would be fed with a tube if I didn’t (by the doctors not my parents) therefore mealtimes in our house are very much early morning chats of ‘what would you like for dinner tonight’ and visa Versa if he cooks

There are plenty of things I wouldn't need to try because I know I won't like it. If there's something in it I don't like then I know I won't like the dish.

You could

batch cook
use the slow cooker
prep the night before and pop in lower oven
your man takes to the club
he cooks

I’m quite stunned that there are votes for YABU. I normally cook but when I don’t if I am faced with something I don’t like I try to be pleasant about it and at very least taste. To be pissed off with you for not mind reading is just rude, entitled and spoilt.

I wouldn't say the issue is that he didn't eat it. It's the rest of his actions.

It was cheeky of him to pull a face when he expects OP to be in charge of food planning and doesn't take any real responsibility. He could at least have spent a few minutes pushing it around and not drawing attention to the fact that he wasn't eating it, rather than putting DC off. He also needs to come up with some ideas for quick low effort stuff, if the solution OP has found that suits 2 of the 3 people in the household doesn't work for him.

It was fine for him to not eat it if he didn't like it though, especially as there's evidently enough money for him to get something else.

Sounds delicious. I think I’d be saying ‘you obviously don’t like a lot of my cooking and I’m sick of thinking of ideas so from now on you can do X and Y days to give me a break’. Don’t get the ingredients for him and don’t help him out. My fussy kids returned from university a lot less fussy after having to cook for themselves.

I saw an old interview with the late, great Arteha Frankin recently. The interviewer asked her about her life and what had been the biggest problem she'd had to surmount. This wonderful woman who has fought racism and misogyny her whole life, said in a heartbeat, "Having to figure out what to cook for dinner...every...goddam...day!"

I think your husband was very rude, ungrateful and entitled to turn his nose up at dinner, without even trying it! In the future, I would go all passive-aggressive and not cook him dinner and when he asks why say, "What's the point, you're only gonna chuck it in the bin and buy pizza anyway!"

Precisely this!

It’s so hard to get children to try new things, eat a variety, etc, and one of the key things to do is make sure that they don’t have the option of “I’ll have something else instead”. Seeing an adult opt for a sandwich isn’t just this one meal – it opens the door to pissing about at every mealtime.

I was hoping you’d get 100% YANBU on this, OP. It’s fine for him not to eat something he doesn’t like, but ridiculous to sit there sulking. Not surprising DC copied his bad example at first. He should be a better role model.

Meal planning is one of the most draining of tasks you need a proper conversation with him about how it all works and how much falls to you. DH has done similar and I told him he either steps up and shares the meal planning or he eats what he gets within reason of things I know he dislikes
explain you thought he didn’t like the flavours not the concept (and maybe why) but on occasion healthy quick meals are needed

and start sharing more stuff

The issue is he needs to model to the children that ok this my not be my favourite but it is what is on offer so I'll get on with it. Obviously if its something he hates, hates and might make him ill, politely decline. But really he should just get on with it, I think his parenting as well as his manners are in question.

So now that you've got a big group of strangers on the internet to say hateful things about the man you're supposed to love, do you feel better?

You cooked something you knew he wouldn't like and then got narky when he got himself something different to eat. Weird.

I would stop cooking for him. He's rude and he doesn't reciprocate. Just sort you and the kids from now on. You have a full-time job, a full-on life and you're not running a bloody restaurant.

Presumably he knows where the fridge/nearest shop is. So he won't starve.