To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

[Rosebyanothername19]

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

Have what you like. How did what your grown husband eats become your problem? You're not responsible for his nutrition.

Haha?!?!

No way I would be joking about this - he was so rude and disrespectful AND in front of your child. He expects you to take on all the mental load of meals like he’s a giant man baby. Honestly I think you should use this example to say that he has to sort out his own meals for a while. You do not have the capacity for dealing with his attitude / fussiness so you’ll just sort you and your child out. I may not like everything my husband cooks (yes this has happened) but if he’s gone to the effort of making me something, on top of his busy day, I’ll damn well try it. Or at least suck it up in front of the children and discreetly leave most of it 😅

Well, one thing we do know is he eats pizza. How about getting some in the freezer for emergencies (and he can cook them!).

wow he stacks the dishwasher and sometimes washes up. What a catch!

I could sit at my desk all evening and pretend to work but I don’t because I have a family, I have responsibilities and I’m not a selfish twat. He is either not working efficiently in the day or opting out of family life and conveniently working whilst you are running around doing everything. If you both work full time you should be sharing chores and given how fussy he is sharing the cooking should be first on your list. We sit down together on a Sunday evening, meal plan and share who is cooking which night , do the food order and that’s the week sorted save for any last minute changes. And we both clear afterwards.

As for his behaviour at dinner time, what adult can’t pretend to eat a meal or come up with a polite excuse for not eating and then discretely make something later. Rude, entitled and dreadful modelling for your DC.

Normally I'd say he should have eaten it. I liked your suggestion that "He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again". However you've trapped him. "We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them" so in other words - it's more polite to eat it and then say he wasn't keen, but you totally ignore the not being keen if he eats it. So you've basically trapped him into either being rude and not eating it, or being polite and eating it and being fed it over and over again. Did it occur to you that not eating it, might be an attempt to actually make you polite enough to listen to him, which you appear to be struggling with?!

I don’t get why so many people are suggesting ways for the OP to enable this man-child. The OP can get some pizzas in the freezer, the OP can get a slow-cooker, the OP can ask him to meal plan.

Or he can grow the fuck up, show some manners and cook at the weekends. I love working from home, but I think one of the worst parts can be it undermines the respect a partner can have for your role, god knows why the OP is picking up so much of the load at home.

Bet he’s not even working when he comes home, is sat watching YouTube or is on mumsnet.

It’s hard being responsible for ALL dinner decisions though. He never decides what they eat.

Maybe she was just fed up and lacking inspiration, plus she likes what she chose and she’s also entitled to have a dinner she likes?? If he is that bothered by what he eats, he should take over meal prep a few days a week 🤷‍♀️ Plus he didn’t even try it which is just childish in my book. Not to even have one forkful?

👏👏👏

Honestly, it sounds rank. Just get a home delivery pizza and everyone tuck in instead?

For me the issue is that you are burdened with the mental load and physical load of planning, shopping and cooking for meals. This is on top of you doing the run around for little one on top of your job.

I think it’s time hubby planned 50% of the dinners and did the shopping - if he’s not around to share the cooking load.

In this house you can decide how the task is done and do it, or you can shut up. You don't get to expect someone else to do the task and they complain about how they did it.

Same in this household. If you you relinquish responsibility for buying and cooking food, you eat what you're served by the person who takes on that responsibility. I'd be incandescent if my partner went and bought a pizza all for himself once the children were in bed. Particularly if money was tight.

I would never contemplate a relationship with a fussy eater or someone with food phobias. Having to prioritise someone else's needs and seek to please them every day would kill any attraction for me.

absolutely. I definitely would have expected him to at least try it!

It's not about the bag meal, is it?

You need a fair division of labour (and this probably wouldn't have kicked off if he actually took some responsibility for shopping, cooking and meal planning).

Op you don’t have to cook every night you know. If you’re really busy or got no food in or whatever then just get a takeaway or frozen pizzas.

dont feel like there has to be a cooked meal on the table every night! No one is gonna wither away

The way he handled it was very childish, especially in front of the kids. I have no patience with fussy adults. It’s food, you don’t have to love it in order to eat it.

Let him do his share of picking up DC and taking to after school clubs, plus shopping/cooking. Then see if he minds if you sit with a face on, after modelling bad food behaviour and bad manners for your child.
I can't be doing with picky eaters, especially not adults who've had the thinking, shopping and cooking done for them.

Them bags are rank all you can taste is salty plastic

Why do you not know what he eats?

Me and DH have opposite food requirements so never eat the same thing, neither of us would ever force the other to eat something we know they don't like or can't eat.

My husband is a fanny when it comes to food so I no longer choose what to eat and let him do it all. He is fussy to the point where he will not eat something one day and then the next day he will enjoy it. There will be a (made up) reason why he enjoys it one day and not the other (ie. The potato was cooked then reheated and he can’t eat reheated potato). He cuts bits off his meat where there’s “fat” so that most of it goes in the bin. It’s exhausting. YABU, he needs to grow up.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

This is incredibly rude and disrespectful.

From now on, let your DH make his own sandwiches/dinner. Do not cook dinner for him again.

He sounds like a dick - why do women put up with this shit?

A lot of these responses are wild.

This man-child does none of the parenting, housework, shopping or cooking and sits in his office until ‘mummy’ calls him for his tea, only to make a face about what she’s cooked and then refuses to tidy up afterwards because he’s so cross with her… And people’s response to that is that it’s op’s fault for cooking him something he doesn’t like or to give suggestions of how she could do better?

Did people miss the part where the man is a shit partner and does nothing to help? Has my Time Machine worked?! Are we back in the 1950s?

This.

If he turned his nose up without even tasting it, he would have been wearing it as far as I'm concerned.

Had he tried it and said "Sorry. - this isn't to my taste. I'll just make myself a sandwich" then fair enough.

What was it, just as a matter of interest?

Hes just rude. Tell him to cook himself then. You are doing 2 jobs one employed and one running the home and looking after the children, i would not cook for him anymore or do anything at all for him

OP says it was 'Mediterranean chicken with peppers, courgette and carrots done in the bag (so juicy - if you get my meaning) with Cous cous'

I mean, even if that's not your favourite thing in the world or the best ever version of it, it's hardly offensive, is it.