To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

[Rosebyanothername19]

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

YANBU. Certainly in my house, cooking for 4 including 2 fussy kids means that there are very few meals that won't get a complaint from someone. Even a meal that everyone loved will get "but we have this all the time" a fortnight later.

Sometimes it's DH that gets something he finds bland, to suit the kids. Sometimes the kids get things they don't love, and have to leave some. They just pile on the hot sauce (DH)/add toast(DC), and put up with it though.

I despise cooking. I'm certainly not cooking multiple different meals.

I'm not sure. I eat 3 meals a day & no snacking in between & I would be pretty peed off if DH (who cooks in the week) served up something I had said I didn't like.

Just don't cook that meal for him again. Neither me nor my DH would be keen on anything with couscous. He eats really, really plain foods, like no gravy, no sauces, no veg except cucumber ad raw peppers. I'm very used to him not wanting my food as I can't always only cook the boring stuff he eats. But he would not be rude about it, saying "I'm not eating that'..etc. He would just decline it and have something himself later on. So it's the delivery, in front of the child that's the issue rather than that he didn't like your meal.

you both work. It blows my mind that women are still cooking for their husbands every day like this.

Have you missed the bit where they both work full time, and she does all the cooking, child care and house stuff? I'm honestly shocked how regressive so many posts are here.

Yes, this was what stood out to me too.

Sounds like you're running around doing everything.

yes, you do, so that’s different. He never does. He chooses not to do anything for parenting and cooking. He expects to sit down to a meal every night from his wife who is not a sahm. So he should suck it up no matter what level of utter bilge the op wants to serve up. She works and does everything for the dc and if he was my husband he would be gone. It’s not a relationship if you have to do everything and work.

Exactly. MN is fill of grovelling women serving up food to their ungrateful shit husbands. And they think it’s their job 🤯🤯🤯And advise each other on how to make better meals🤯🤯🤯

The. Actual. Meal. Doesn’t. Matter. Here.

It is about his petulant reaction at the table in front of the kids (there are other ways to decline a meal) . About how he sulked afterwards. About how they both work but they both accept that the OP does all the cooking.

It makes me depressed for the next generation when so many women accept and condone inequality. It actually turns my stomach.

Another example of WFH meaning the husband gets a housewife who has responsibilities for all the house chores and another full time wage into the house. Yes he was rude. Yes he should have tried it (it sounds fairly innocuous). But no he didn't have to eat it if he didn't like it. Probably a bigger issue at play here about you feeling like everyone's servant. I know I do as dishing up food for the millionth time in a row. On a more practical level. Could you get meal prep boxes and get him to cook when he gets in before doing more work later after dinner.

I'd put money on that "work" consisting of a hefty portion of messing around on social media and messaging his mates. If the criterion for doing the house chores is being at home rather than the office, fine. He's at home from 4-5 pm, plenty of time for him to cook, clean, and help with the children.

How is an overreaction? This man sits at his desk at home whilst OP works full time, do the food shop and the school pick-up, take the kids to after-school clubs and then cooks dinner.

I used to have this from my husband, not as rude as yours, but I'd suggest stuff I might cook for tea and get a muted response.

This hacked me off big time.

We had a chat, and also there I just made myself unavailable to cook, had a gym class, late back from work etc. So he had to step up, do the thinking and cook.

I had many months of fish chips and peas till eventually even he got bored of that and started with fajitas, and stirfries etc.

We are about 60/40 cooking now, I do a bit more as I actually like it so will happily spend some time making soup or something a bit special. Whereas he is more of a cook to eat person.

Not particularly Italian? 😂 But I agree that he reacted badly and set a bad example to your son

Exactly, she does all the house stuff because she's work from home, but he can't do any house stuff because he's working from home. Interesting!

In any event I'd be shocked if he's not just playing call of duty on his phone.

Really rude of him, and such a bad attitude to have in front of your children.
if he really didn’t like it (after at least trying it) he should at least say “thank you for making this, I’m not too keen on this meal, but I appreciate you making it” (something along those lines). He can make his own food from now on.

FFS in a country where people are missing meals because they are so broke.

Appreciate what you are saying, OP, however, your husband is not a child to be told what or when to eat.
I think we all endured this to some extent before adulthood.

I've never had one and wouldn't really want to eat something cooked in plastic but I think OP wasn't being unreasonable because what her DH did was childish and rude. My DH would never behave like that over a meal I had planned, bought and cooked for him. He'd at least try it but I don't think there's ever been anything I've cooked that has been inedible to him luckily.

@Rosebyanothername19 trying to think of new meals was the bane of my existence my DS14 can never think of anything he wants but knows he doesn't want anything that's ever suggested. DP would think he was doing me a favour by saying just cook whatever I wanted or was easy for me but then they'd both moan they had the same thing week in week out.
About 6 months ago we stopped asking DS altogether and started following food pages on Instagram there's lots of people who make quick, easy, healthy dinners and things I wouldn't have thought to have on my rotation. Now whenever one of us see something that takes our fancy we send it to the other and save it and on a Sunday morning (our weekly shopping day) we have a look through select the menu for that week and shop accordingly.

So totally not the point, but anyone who struggles with meal planning, there's an app called "Cherrypick" (formerly Lollipop) where you can select meals from their database, and it automatically populates a Sainsbury's online shopping basket. It's not perfect, but it really takes the stress out of meal planning! My DH also has the login, and is welcome to add any meals he fancies to the planner. If he doesn't then he eats (without complaint) whatever I add to the planner. We share the cooking, with him doing the majority as I do the majority of the planning and the shopping.

This

However, he did not have to pull a face imo

He'd already said before that he didn't really like them and you're annoyed he told you again and sorted something out for himself??

Have you missed that this man sits at his desk at home whilst OP works full time, does the food shop and the school pick-up, takes the kids to after-school clubs and then cooks dinner?

Very well said. The double standards are shocking.