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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

439 replies

Rosebyanothername19 · 06/03/2024 20:27

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

OP posts:
Timetogohome2 · 07/03/2024 00:10

I must admit, I've never tried the bake in a bag thing. What is supposed to be wrong with them?

We have not had them for years so they may have improved but to us they always had a plastic taste to them

To be fair it’s just as easy to throw a couple of chicken breasts and some veg in a roasting tin so I don’t really see the point in the bag

OP you were unreasonable to get something you knew that he wouldn’t like. Flavour may be different but it’s the bag that sounds like it’s the issue for him

NoisyDachshunddd · 07/03/2024 00:16

Its such a shame you feel you have to post on here about your partner.

I guarantee he isn't wringing his hands about tonight's tea.

There are loads of apologists here.

Put a good friend of yours in your husbands shoes. Can you imagine that friend speaking to you in the way you husband did, about food? No? Why??

Lucy377 · 07/03/2024 00:20

"Except tonight as he is annoyed with me for dinner. "
So he's huffing and punishing you by not doing his share in the kitchen.

Next time say to him 'it sounds like you think I did something wrong'

Fine he doesn't like the food, but he doesn't have to be rude to you about it.

He could have been gracious, understanding and polite. Not teaching the kids to speak to you like a demanding entitled little sod.

NoisyDachshunddd · 07/03/2024 00:22

I can't believe there are posts here about the objective merits of the Maggi/ boil or bake bake in the bag.. jesus

QueenBitch666 · 07/03/2024 00:30

He's an ungrateful knob. How fucking rude

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/03/2024 01:49

That would really piss me off. You’re running yourself ragged. Time for him to step up to the plate.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 07/03/2024 02:43

Rosestulips · 06/03/2024 20:48

Option 3

let him write a fortnightly meal plan, make a shopping list and go out and get ingredients. Cheeky fuck

This...

And my mum's rejoinder....

This is not a restaurant and I'm not your personal slave. If you don't like what I've cooked - please plan /shop/cook for all of us daily.

Codlingmoths · 07/03/2024 02:48

NoisyDachshunddd · 07/03/2024 00:22

I can't believe there are posts here about the objective merits of the Maggi/ boil or bake bake in the bag.. jesus

Quite. It could have been gluggy overcooked pasta with no sauce and it’s still a hell of a lot more than he cooks any night.

Autienotnautie · 07/03/2024 04:59

I think it's fair enough if he didn't like it. But he shouldn't have said anything in front of your child.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 07/03/2024 05:23

Very rude in my book.
I also hate the relentlessness of meal planning and trying to keep things interesting. DH never complains even if I run out of time and it’s a tub of soup with a sandwich. The kids moan endlessly but they’re both very fussy so they just get what they get and I try to make sure they like at least something on the plate.

I’m using Simply Cook kits at the moment- they’re just the flavour element of the dish (spice rubs, stock pots, garlic paste, herb crumbs etc) but they come with a recipe card and shopping list for the other bits and bobs so planning/shopping/cooking is much quicker.

We like the Greek gyros, all of the noodle ones (particularly indo-Chinese hakka noodles), the curries and laksas, beef stroganoff and chicken parmigiana. They work out at £2.50 a meal for the flavour pots.

here a code for a free box if you want to give it a go

simplycook.com/invite/YNQT44?t=cp&via=mb&pg=mr

pootlin · 07/03/2024 05:27

KestrelMoon · 06/03/2024 21:29

No, I am saying the solution to the situation is that the partnership between OP and DH become more balanced and equal. It sounded to me that you think the woman should do it all and be happy with displays of gratitude from her DH. That’s not a sustainable solution imho. The DH has to fake gratitude for things he doesn’t like (a form of deception) and OP still has to do it all until she hits burnout and has a breakdown.

Show quote history

Really don’t get how you thought from my posts that I think the woman should do it all.

anywherehollie · 07/03/2024 05:28

Ffs he's an adult, just eat it! My husband eats whatever I put down in front of him and is grateful, and vice versa. Picky men are so off putting.

araiwa · 07/03/2024 05:36

I'm an adult. I'm not eating anything I don't like

Especially when I've already told whoever is cooking that I don't like it.

I don't like mushrooms and would find it very rude to be given mushroom risotto when they know I don't like mushrooms.

Also I don't live in the 1950s so a boil in a bag meal is not for me

solarised · 07/03/2024 05:49

Boomboxio · 06/03/2024 23:45

That's your opinion though.

If everyone thought that they wouldn't be in business anymore.

Show quote history

No its not, I like them. The husband thinks they are shit clearly

pictoosh · 07/03/2024 06:35

To be fair those Maggi bag things are notably unappetising. Tried one once...watery and flavourless, mushy wet chicken. No one here finished it.

I can imagine my stomach broiling at the thought of eating it so I reserve the right, along with that of anyone else in my family to go 'bleuch' at being presented with a plate and opting to have something else. A sandwich would be much preferable.

Sorry if that's being an apologist or whatever but no, it's not nice food.

Lennon80 · 07/03/2024 06:42

Catapultaway · 06/03/2024 22:36

Why would you sit and eat something you don't like 😂

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Because I’m not a child

Codlingmoths · 07/03/2024 06:43

pictoosh · 07/03/2024 06:35

To be fair those Maggi bag things are notably unappetising. Tried one once...watery and flavourless, mushy wet chicken. No one here finished it.

I can imagine my stomach broiling at the thought of eating it so I reserve the right, along with that of anyone else in my family to go 'bleuch' at being presented with a plate and opting to have something else. A sandwich would be much preferable.

Sorry if that's being an apologist or whatever but no, it's not nice food.

If you wanted to be fair, you could point out he has two hands and a brain and could cook for himself or even <horrified gasp> for his family.

Scottishshortbread11877 · 07/03/2024 06:48

Italian food with cous cous?

Zanatdy · 07/03/2024 06:50

I think he was rude. I’d be giving him responsibility for cooking 2-3 nights a week, including shopping for it.

CurlewKate · 07/03/2024 06:52

So chicken with oregano type herbs and cous cous? How can that be so awful you can't eat it?

Zanatdy · 07/03/2024 06:53

Scottishshortbread11877 · 07/03/2024 06:48

Italian food with cous cous?

OP said it was the serving suggestion. I guess it’s just Italian herb seasoning but really it’s just chicken & peppers

TerfTalking · 07/03/2024 06:55

I always cook, and by default that means we always eat what I want 😀

MamaGhina · 07/03/2024 07:02

He works full time. You work full time. Yet because you don’t commute (and presumably don’t hide in an office pretending to work as soon as you get home), you do everything else while he gets to opt out?
Nah, I wouldn’t be having that.

Yes he is BU to complain about a meal he didn’t chose, plan or cook in front of the DC. Of course they would turn their noses up too.

This isn’t about cooking chicken in a bag!

He gets home around 4/5? Then he can take on half the dinners. Why wouldn’t you insist on this as a minimum? I bet he wouldn’t be so quick to complain then.

pictoosh · 07/03/2024 07:07

Codlingmoths · 07/03/2024 06:43

If you wanted to be fair, you could point out he has two hands and a brain and could cook for himself or even <horrified gasp> for his family.

Show quote history

Bit of an overreaction to him not liking something which is pretty unpleasant. I DO cook for myself and my family and I wouldn't serve or eat it.

Picklestop · 07/03/2024 07:12

I can’t even imagine what a cook in the bag meal is but it sounds dreadful and he has already said he doesn’t like this style of food. I would like to think I could say I am not eating something that DH served up if I don’t like it and particularly if I have already said that I don’t like it. This would be like me saying I don’t like eating pot noodles so he buys me one a different flavour and insists I could just try it.

Obviously, if he leaves you to do all the cooking and housework then there is an issue here, a much bigger one, but I still think an adult can decline food they don’t wish to eat.