To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

[Rosebyanothername19]

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

It’s not a partnership when OP is struggling with fitting in her full time job with his expectations that she does the house chores as well.

You just sound like you think the woman should do it all.

He was incredibly rude and acted like a sulky man child. He sees this stuff as women's work and doesn't value the effort you put in.

I'd not cook anything further for him until he has apologised. Not for failing to eat it but for his shitty attitude.

Thank you for your responses everyone.

I was also brought up in an eat what you're given environment so to not eat it at all I just found odd.

I also didn't realise that it might be the whole cook in a bag thing. I just assumed it was the flavours he didn't like before. Noted. I will resist all of them in the future! (Although my, clearly dreadful, palate really likes them!)

Yes, how dare he not like something 🙄
Saying it in front of DC was wrong, but he had already said he didn’t like that type of meal so it was a bit short sighted of the OP to purchase another.

My DH does most of the cooking - but I’m sure he’d stop doing it if I pulled a face and refused to try something.

Id make it clear that he needs to at least meal plan if he’s not going to eat what’s put in front of him. I, too, was brought up not to be fussy.

Well I had never heard of these cook in a bag things. Just googled and now I have something new to for my family to try. So thanks, OP. I also think your husband should have eaten it by the way. Mine would have, especially in front of the kids. I just wouldn't have made that particular one again.

I do too. I think no matter what, he needed to apply a lot more grace however he felt about it. My husband does all our cooking (I can't due to Health problems) and I literally can't Imagine being so disrespectful to his efforts. I would likely eat it and say I wasn't that keen or something diplomatic. But at the end of the day he needs to model better behaviour for the kids as well.

Her dh had already said he didn’t like those cook in the bag meals. I don’t think it’s that he just refused to try it. He had the cook in bag meals before and doesn’t like them. I don’t think anyone should be forced to eat food they know they don’t like

Not something I could or would put up with but I appreciate different posters feel differently

Has he been reminded he can make dinner if he wants to be assured he's having what he wants?

They are horrible! Totally changes the texture of the food. They are handy yes but unfortunately I hate them

Why don't you both sit together and come up with a list of short quick meals and longer prep meals. It's he's gonna be such a fusspot he needs to pull his finger out and put in some effort. Maybe try keep 2/3 emergency dinners in or on hand, such as frozen pizza but a "nicer" one. Omelette bacon and toast, baked potatoes and chilli (chilli frozen), fish finger sandwiches, toasties and soup (frozen if bought on offer or in advance). Dunno, obviously you need to suit your intolerances so that's where enough is enough. He clearly takes you for granted so he needs to chip in

The lazy fucker would be making his own dinner from now on.
you don’t get to be so picky with the menu if you literally refuse to cook ever.

I don't think an adult should have just eat what they're given. Discuss what you might be having for dinner, have things in the freezer for emergencies. I wouldn't like to be given something I didn't like, particularly when I wanted to come home and relax after a day of work. He shouldn't have said anything in front of the kids, but cous cous is very much a marmite, you either like it or you don't, and chances are the kids wouldn't have eaten it even if he hadn't spoken up.

No, I am saying the solution to the situation is that the partnership between OP and DH become more balanced and equal. It sounded to me that you think the woman should do it all and be happy with displays of gratitude from her DH. That’s not a sustainable solution imho. The DH has to fake gratitude for things he doesn’t like (a form of deception) and OP still has to do it all until she hits burnout and has a breakdown.

I've never seen these cook in a bag things. Intrigued.

I have occasionally bought the odd cheat meal and they're so disappoint dammit.

P.s. your DH was rude. He didn't have to eat it. But he was very rude.

Don’t stop buying them if you like them. Just say “DH we’re having the chicken in a bag meal tonight if you don’t want that would you like to cook something else for us all?”
give him plenty of warning so he’s got time to think of something and go to the shops

and then have a conversation about redistribution of labour because it sounds like you’re doing far too much and he’s not doing anywhere near enough

Sounds like it's about a whole lot more than a meal, OP.

It's not doing your marriage any favours if he's not pulling his weight in the family/home. It's hugely disprespectful to have done this in front of your DC.

Well whoop-de-doo isn't that grand of him. A veritable Mr 50:50 division of chores. Who does the laundry and the cleaning? Sounds like it's about time for a come to Jesus talk OP.

He's not 2, eat what you're given. Sounds a bit churlish all round.

I'd be very tempted to boil up some plain pasta for his dinner tomorrow and pop it in front of him with a flourish saying, "New rule, anyone who doesn't like my cooking gets to enjoy penne surprise."
I have done this before for XH who never cooked and complained at certain things. I won't lie, it led to an argument but it gave me some satisfaction that he had to source his own food somehow that evening.

I must admit, I've never tried the bake in a bag thing. What is supposed to be wrong with them?

That's very convenient that his job takes him away from school runs, cooking, bed time for DC. And he also doesn't meal plan or cook. Can't believe how many people are talking about a grown man eating one meal he's not fond of like it's a great tradgedy he needs to endure while OP is run ragged.

If you don’t like something you don’t like it
if you put a fish pie or a curry anywhere near me I wouldn’t go near it let alone try it

in the big scheme of things you both had reasonable points but in life we don’t get everything right .I’d just move on

Would he have eaten this if it had been cooked normally, not in a bag?

What exactly is his issue with it?

I'm in the yanbu camp.

I had serious conversations with my Dh that he needed to learn to cook healthy tasty meals the year we were married. I would absolutely not be ok with this behaviour when you’re the sole cook. I’d be saying that was poor role modelling for your children both in terms of trying food, and being Polite about something someone else has cooked for them. It was terrible husbanding when you never cook, so I am taking a cooking break and you will be responsible for shopping and meals next week. Every night, I will have nothing to do with it but i will , unlike you, be polite about whatever you cook, except for the night I take myself out.

I think he sounds rude and ungrateful declaring how he wouldn't eat it. However, it is not something I would care about if he hadn't declared it in front of the DC, he is an adult and can feed himself pizza. That said, what would he say if you declared that you hated the meal and were going out to get pizza. I don't think many Mum's behave like that and there would probably be double standards over that sort of behaviour if you did it.