My boyfriend of a year wants to fly to another state to visit his two female friends at college

[YourCoolCyanPeer]

Don’t get me wrong, I completely trust my bf and I know nothing is going to happen between them. I’m completely fine with him hanging out with his female friends when they’re all home from school and stuff, I just think buying a plane ticket and flying out just to see two girls is a little bit extreme. I told him I felt a bit weird about it and he got upset and said he doesn’t wanna see his friends only over breaks and stuff. He doesn’t fly out to see any of his guy friends at college, so why is he flying out for them? Again, this isn’t about trust, I genuinely just thinks it’s kinda weird. Am I being unreasonable?

If it’s not a trust thing why does it matter if they are male or female?

Know I'll be told I'm old fashioned, but personally I think if he's going you should go too.

Either you find it weird or you don't. If you don't then why not be OK with it? Would you rather they travelled to him? Hopefully they would do next time.

I have never had a BF with two very close female friends, so I don't know if I would be a bit weird with it. Not with someone I loved and trusted.

Is it a very expensive trip? Would it put you out in any other ways?

If he is fine with you doing similar to visit friends of either gender then I'd say it's cool.

I feel like I would be intruding on his friend group if I went. Idk I just feel like that’s a lot to ask of him to let me come.

It seems entirely normal to want to introduce your GF to the kind of friends you'd fly out to see, to me.

I have met them once like over a year ago. He said at some point I could hang out with them when they’re here but I feel like it would be a lot to ask of him. The two friends wanted HIM to come visit, not me AND him. I feel like it would be awkward for me to come.

I'd be annoyed he hadn't asked me to meet his friends and make it a holiday for us. Especially after 2 years.
Can I ask if it was a lads holiday would you feel the same? You say it's not trust - sounds a little like doubt.
In this case I can see your no trust trust issues

I have visited DH’s female friends from university before. But not flying out especially. More we are already going there and visit his old friends. I think it really just comes down to trust. Do you trust him? Do you think they are more than friends?

I would not expect to be invited along in this scenario. You don’t know them and you’d massively change the dynamic. What are their living arrangements? Would you even all fit in?
In the end either you do actually trust him or you don’t. You being weird about them being female suggests that you think he’s after one of them. If you do trust him then it’s no different to him visiting a another couple of mates.
My DH has a female friend of long standing that he occasionally (once every couple of years) goes to visit on his own. I trust him and therefore think nothing of it.

I would feel better if it was a lads holiday. I think it might be because when he’s at college, he only comes home to visit me on breaks. But he is going out of his way to visit them not on a break? Why can’t he just wait to see them over break like he normally does? I don’t want this to sound bad, but I feel like he is prioritizing seeing them over seeing me.

If it's not a trust thing why are you posting?

Need more detail really. Do they go to college somewhere interesting? Is this because he does indeed spend every break with you and this is instead of missing out on seeing you during a break?

I do trust him and I know nothing is gonna happen between them. I think it might be because when he’s at college, he only comes home to visit me on breaks. But he is going out of his way to visit them not on a break? Why can’t he just wait to see them over break like he normally does? I don’t want this to sound bad, but I feel like he is prioritizing seeing them over seeing me which I don’t think is right. I would never prioritize a guy friend over my bf.

They go to college in a town with a lot of bars. That’s it. He wants to go through all that effort just to see them and go to bars with them. And he doesn’t spend his entire breaks with me. It’s split evenly between friends, me, and his family.

But would you prioritise ANY friend over him?
The gender thing is irrelevant if you trust him.

Yeah don't do that. He's allowed to have friends and you trust him and you know nothing's going to happen.

So why would you anyway?

How long has he known them?
When did he last see them?
When was the last time he was with you?
How many of his last breaks has he spent with you?
I only ask as he may see it as he has prioritised you over them for some breaks if he has known them longer.

If he is spending his whole break there could you arrange to go for a few days of it? He sees them and a break for you both together.

Would he be okay if the shoe was on the other foot and it was you going in the same circumstances?

Sometimes in a relationship you have things that test it and trusting in trust is how it grows.

How long have you two been a couple OP?

Seriously? The thread is titled "My boyfriend of a year..." People complain when someone hasn't read the thread. You've not managed the first five words!

His time is split evenly between the people he loves, stop being unreasonable

If it's about going somewhere for a few nights partying as much as seeing these 2 particular friends, I'd not be bothered.

Only you know the story here though. When I was 17, against my better judgement, my boyfriend went to visit 2 "friends" about 2 hours away and by the time he came back one was his new girlfriend. On him, not me, but I should have listened to the vibes she gave me!

Relationships come and go, good friends are for life.

The thing is, he’s going out of his way to do it. He isn’t waiting until a break to fly down there. But he doesn’t go out of his way to see me. He only sees me on breaks. That’s why I feel like he’s prioritizing them idk. And also I don’t think he would be okay if I did that. Granted, I don’t have guy BEST friends to compare it to but still.

Bluntly, friends outlast romantic relationships a lot of the time. People are right to prioritise them. To me, it would be completely mad to sideline friends for a romantic relationship.

Your call, obviously, but my DH of 30 years flew out to Barcelona to see an old friend who just lost her father. To me, that’s a good thing.

I think if it’s not a trust issue then you are being a little controlling.
That said, maybe he doesn’t view your relationship in the same light as you do?