If you are overweight now do you think your partner still finds you attractive?

[penelopepinkbott]

So I know this seems an odd question but I've been thinking today. I found some old texts and a few naughty pics between my husband and me and looking at my old body I feel so fat. I am overweight (size 14-16) from a 10/12. I looked so good and now I really don't. Can anyone relate? Do you think you're still attractive/ as attractive? Im nearly 40 and I just think he can't fancy me at all.

Same, but husband still cant take his hands off me 😅

I mean we met when we were young, i was 17, now 38 and 3 children later and im a size 12/14.

I can honestly say he doesn't care either way, i do fluctuate and it doesn't seem to make a difference.

He fluctuates also and i really dont fancy him any more/less when he does.

a size 12/14.

This isn't overweight

I'm a size 16 makes no difference to DP

Depends on height surely.

I’ve gone from a size 8 to a 12, back down to 8 and am now a 14 in the 34 years we’ve been married. He still loves and fancies me.

Do you feel he’s still attracted to you? Do you have sex and other physical intimacy? It sounds like this is more about your self esteem rather than how he actually sees you.

I was less attractive when I was three stone heavier than I am now. I mean that is just fact, rolls of fat are not attractive to me. I don't doubt that my OH thought the same, although he was polite enough not to mention it.

Yes this is how I feel. He says how he feels hasn't changed but who really finds roll of fat attractive.

Intimacy/sex hasn't changed much. Bit less frequent due to young kids but he's always still up for it. 100% my esteem is rock bottom. I know this is mostly due to the 3 stones I've put on.

It probably is slightly

If you want to change OP then you need to do it for you, not for anybody else.

Yes, losing weight made me more attractive imo, but it also made me happier - and a happy person is an attractive person, whatever size they are.

It can be depending on your height

Im just 5ft and im overweight when im a size 12/14

You are not your weight. Your body is only a small part of who you are and who your husband is attracted to (unless he’s a shallow twat, which he doesn’t sound like). It’s your own issue with self worth and linking your worth to your weight that you need to tackle… nothing to do with your husbands attraction to you…

Yes, definitely. I could do with him finding me less attractive, frankly! I'm early 40s and a size 16, though I'm a similar size to what I've always been (size 14).

Dh is not the size he was when we met either 😂back in our roaring 20s. And I still find him as attractive as ever.

I'm a 12/14. I'm not remotely overweight. But I'm 6ft. I work with someone who is 5ft 1. If she wore 12/14 she would probably be a little overweight

@Babla it often is. I’m a size 14, at 5”2 I’m about 2 stone overweight at this size.

a happy person is an attractive person, whatever size they are.

This. We all get older and 'lose our looks' in the very limited way that society's standards of attractiveness dictate, but sexual attraction and love go way beyond such limitations and people of all shapes, sizes and ages are attractive to their partners. Most men are less hung up on body image than women too, generally speaking. They like a shag and find the prospect of one attractive, rolls of fat are neither here nor there, or they actively might like the feel of them. You need to either get more broad-minded about what's attractive or to think much less about it and try to not define yourself by your weight or shape. I'm a size 16 in my late 40s and feel more attractive than I ever have because of confidence and life experience and knowing what I enjoy. Enjoying sex is pretty attractive too, so worry less about what he finds attractive and focus on feeling good about yourself.

I don't know, dh has put on a lot of weight and I don't really fancy him at all.
I love him and I'd never leave him but I don't find him attractive to look at anymore, although when you've been together a long time looks are just on the outside and it's who's inside that counts and he's still the same man it's just he is 3X bigger than he was and his hair has gone.
So yes I love him dearly and will never go anywhere but would I look twice at him if I met him today no, but I'm glad I did fancy him and marry him because he's a lot nicer than some of the guys I hear about on here.

I'm overweight and my partner fancies me.

His hair's going grey and I fancy him.

I don't think most people.are really looking for a perfect body, are they?

Yes I’m 5ft 1 and I’d be 100% overweight at 12-14

Ah here. Dh is bald now. I still fancy the pants off him. Im defo not a young wan either but he sure does make me feel like i am.
As beautiful south say, time takes its toll but not on the eyes...
He still thinks im fabulous.

I don’t think anyone looks at fat and thinks it’s attractive as it’s not, but that’s not the same as finding your partner attractive still as attraction goes more than skin deep

Yes he does
But maybe if he didn't I wouldn't have got so fat?
That's not to blame him but I would have liked him to notice.

Honestly, I don't feel he can however, we are in love with each other, he makes all the right sounds and gestures, Valentine's cards with thoughtful messages but I feel part of the excitement in our mid 20s was due to the infatuation with each other and both not being able to resist each other due to how we perceived each other's looks! He based his first interaction with me on looks as he asked me if I wanted him to buy me a mojito, he didn't know me so he was attracted to my looks. However, that was 18 years ish ago and we still have elements of that intensity, we are quite up and down though which is not a visual attraction, it is personalities that clash enough to keep things exciting but also a connection that is impenetrable (I think).

An average or short women is highly likely to be OW at a size 14. You're arguing the wrong point. The argument should be that it's perfectly possible to be both OW and attractive and that OW does not equal ugly. Claiming that people who say they are OW are not really OW just confirms the idea that's its a shameful thing that we should pretend not to be. It's also very unhelpful to women who are even larger and unquestionably OW. You're OK at size 14 because you're not really OW. But if you were size 18....
OP, if your partner didn't find you attractive, you'd likeky know about it. Your weight is just one aspect of your overall appearance and having a bit more of it doesn't stop you being gorgeous.