If you are overweight now do you think your partner still finds you attractive?

[penelopepinkbott]

So I know this seems an odd question but I've been thinking today. I found some old texts and a few naughty pics between my husband and me and looking at my old body I feel so fat. I am overweight (size 14-16) from a 10/12. I looked so good and now I really don't. Can anyone relate? Do you think you're still attractive/ as attractive? Im nearly 40 and I just think he can't fancy me at all.

My husband would find me attractive if I was larger, but I wouldn't. I think how you feel is far more important than anyone else's assessment.

I felt horrendous at a size 14 when illness piled the weight on. Dh said he still found me hot but it was irrelevant, I felt deeply unsexy. I do think lots of curvy women look amazing and it may be the confidence they have shows. I am far more confident at a 10 which is my 'well' weight. At the end of the day, dh fancied me when we met at a slim size and there are no guarantees people will fancy us as our body changes. One hopes they do though as we all age and change!

It very much can be on some frames.

Oh gosh this is something I think about a lot. I’ve put on 2.5 stone since my cancer treatment and I’m sure my partner can’t possibly fancy me any more 🙁

I'm 3 stone heavier than when we got married. DH definitely still fancies me but not as much. He found me more attractive when I was a bit thinner. He loves me just as much and would never say this out loud though. I can't complain- he's the same weight as when we married and if he'd gained 3 stone I would feel the same.

I’m nearly 50 and fat. My DH compliments me every day. I was fat at 18 when we met though so he knew what he was getting, I’ve got a reasonable face and I smile a lot which helps. I loathe my fat body and feel constantly at war with it (fighting a losing battle) but still get chatted up when I’m out. I dress to suit my body and I’m energetic and love going out. I think men are attracted to a friendly, pleasant face.

Loads of fat people are in happy sexual relationships so can’t be a deal breaker for everyone.

It depends on height. A 12-14 is not overweight if you are tall, especially if you are over 5 eight or so. A 12 on a woman of six foot is really slender and much smaller would be too skinny. I am five eight and while I personally prefer how I look at an 8-10, I am not overweight at all at a 12 or even a 14.

This. I used to be a 10/12 and I was thin at 6ft. I've put a bit of weight on over the last 4 years and now wear a 14, mostly because I like to be comfortable really. If you compare photos I look like I've put a bit of weight on but I'm not overweight.

What a silly, goady generalisation. Lots of people prefer a curvier figure, it’s just personal taste.

I said excess, unhealthy fat. Not curves.

I’m a 14 now and it’s overweight according to my bmi. I do look too big. for me 10 is healthy weight and 12 is pushing it.

I’ve been overweight and my DH didn’t say anything about it- still was complimentary and attracted to me
However I know now I’ve lost weight he is always saying how fit I looked so I do think he prefers it although says he doesn’t mind either wsy
I know that my DH finds slim women more attractive in general though- that’s just his type

In answer to your op, yes I do worry. I look back and I was really slim and pretty! But he loves me and I’ve curved out everywhere. The key is confidence and dressing well for you. Dh has aged too. How about yours?

Act Like you feel gorgeous and sexy and look up to beautiful women of that size/weight who wear great clothes.

Selena Gomez has put on lots of weight recently (compared to how she used to be - tiny!) and she is still absolutely gorgeous. There are much bigger women who are gorgeous too. Like Alicia Mccarvell.

I am 2 sizes bigger than I was when I met him. I am also 16 years older and 2 kids later. I believe him when he says he still fancies me but a lot of it is a confidence thing. If I was moaning all day long about how ugly and fat I am for example surely that is somewhat unattractive. I try to dress in my own usual style and look after myself whatever size I am.

He is about 2 stone heavier than when we first met and I still fancy him. In fact probably more so!

You have the biggest excuse and I’m sure he is so thankful he still has you ❤️

Still just personal taste.

Love this ❤️

No, he absolutely doesn't. However, I think it was more my pregnancy that put him off, which led to me feeling inadequate and insecure, which led to binge eating, which led to more weight gain, so it's been a downward spiral. DC is almost 10 now and I'm resigned to being overweight and ugly till he leaves me.

I'm a size 18 now and when me and DH got together I was a 8/10.
I've given birth to 3 of his kids in this time.
I'd like to lose some weight and feel healthier tbh and hopefully I will in time (have a newborn at the moment)
I do personally think there's no way he could find me as attractive as he did when he met me... but he has never given any hint of this and never made any negative comment on my appearance. He's still physically affectionate and we still have sex etc...
I don't personally feel as 'fanciable' but I trust that he loves me and I love him. I know that were he to put on a bit of weight I'd still be attracted to him and I'd still love him.
I mean neither of us are as objectively hot as we may have been in our twenties but that's the man I love and I think I'll always find him attractive regardless of his appearance.

I'm a size 18. We have been together 28 years and I was a size 12 to start with.

Dh honestly finds me just as attractive and can't keep his hands off me. I KNOW I've put on weight and I'm a bit 🤔 but he really goes feel like that so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oops, posted too soon.

I think that love and sex in a LTR is also about your shared life and how much you like the person as well as how much they look like a stud. There's much more that goes into physical attraction than looks!

Wtf? You have some agency here too. Are you happy? If not, change things yourself instead of waiting passively.

I’m 5’10 and look my best at 12/14

An average or short women is highly likely to be OW at a size 14. You're arguing the wrong point. The argument should be that it's perfectly possible to be both OW and attractive and that OW does not equal ugly. Claiming that people who say they are OW are not really OW just confirms the idea that's its a shameful thing that we should pretend not to be. It's also very unhelpful to women who are even larger and unquestionably OW. You're OK at size 14 because you're not really OW. But if you were size 18....
OP, if your partner didn't find you attractive, you'd likeky know about it. Your weight is just one aspect of your overall appearance and having a bit more of it doesn't stop you being gorgeous.

Calm down

I'm a 12-14 and I'm overweight.