If you are overweight now do you think your partner still finds you attractive?

[penelopepinkbott]

So I know this seems an odd question but I've been thinking today. I found some old texts and a few naughty pics between my husband and me and looking at my old body I feel so fat. I am overweight (size 14-16) from a 10/12. I looked so good and now I really don't. Can anyone relate? Do you think you're still attractive/ as attractive? Im nearly 40 and I just think he can't fancy me at all.

My weight has been up and down a bit due to pregnancies. DH definitely didn't stop fancying me, because he fancies my personality, not my belly. If you are asking whether he prefers me to be more trim I'd say yes he probably does, but I think it's a small preference rather than anything important.

If it had been long term weight gain and significant enough to affect my health, I'd expect him to speak to me seriously and kindly about it from a health perspective. I think if the positions were reversed and DH put on significant weight, I wouldn't stop fancying him because of what he looked like, but I might struggle to respect him if he didn't care enough about his health, his longevity, and his family to rein it in. (This applies to DH only, who has no issues with food and had a good childhood - in HIS case weight gain would be a choice. I'm not speaking about other people's situations).

I do. As attractive as no roll of fat.

Ive had girlfriends of all shapes and sizes- skinny with big boobs, andro straight up and down, ‘curvy’ size 14’s etc

My wife is a size 24 at least and just as attractive to me as my girlfriends who were ‘heroin chic’ skinny.

Ive been everything from a size 6 to pushing a size 24 in the corse of my marriage (disability/medication related), and my wife has fancied me the whole time.

It absolutely does. I am not tall enough for my weight. I should be about 7 foot 2.

Odd answer to an odd question, OP.
I'm 44 now and never let myself become overweight. For my own benefit, not for men to find me attractive or not.
And, it's a great feeling to actually stop caring about that!
Btw, you are not "fat".

🍔

16 years together and 1 DD, and I've gone from a size 18 to a 28/30 and he reckons he still fancies me - I don't believe him and I'm hopefully having weight-loss surgery soon because I hate the way I look/feel and wish I was in better shape for both him, DD and me

Obesity is a disease

Answering the other way round my OH is 2-3 stone heavier than when we first met and I don't see it at all. It's like he hasn't changed at all in my eyes. My attraction isn't tied to his body being a set shape size etc.

I however relate to you in that my body has changed after 3 children and its difficult for me to feel attractive. We can only believe our partners (mine struggles to believe me and points out his rolls, but I am honest I still find him attractive) whilst working on our own confidence. I am exercising but need reconstructive surgery that We can't afford so it's a real struggle.

Depends how much your face has changed tbh.

Overweight is not the same as obese. Just a bit over normal bmi looks fine on many people.

Well said.

I’m a size 22 (feel gross and am on my own weight loss journey). Was a size 18 when we met three and a half years ago. DP is ten years older than me but works out and keeps himself in good shape, but literally just told me he was “definitely punching up” with me.

Why don’t you believe him? Has he stopped wanting to have sex with you? Being affectionate? Telling you that you are beautiful?

Im just wondering if this stuff comes from the partners or from people themselves

My DH absolutely does fancy me more when I am slimmer than when I am bigger.

I think he loves me the same but is more attracted to me at a smaller size.

It is okay to prefer yourself being slim.
It is okay to only find slim people attractive.

It is NOT okay to make blanket statements about how no one finds bigger people attractive.

Some of the comments on this thread are vile.

There are plenty of people who PREFER bigger bodies.

Anyone who can't see/understand that is just showing themselves up as rude, judgemental and fatphobic.

Your preferences are valid.

Saying that your preferences must apply to everyone else is NOT valid.

Being overweight isn't healthy. Slightly overweight is may be fine but the toxic 'super fat' 'body positivity' movement is total bollocks.

My husband would find me attractive if I put on a bit of weight, I am BMI 19 so would have to put on a lot to be overweight. However, I would not like to be alarger size myself, so it's moot.

Me and my husband have both fluctuated in size. But we still fancy each other whatever our sizes!

Which countries have you lived in if you genuinely believe that to be true?

I am size 24 and absolutely smoking hot and DH agrees! He worships the ground I walk on, and we have been together ten years now.

Your self loathing is more unattractive 🤔

I'm a 12/14 and definitely overweight!

Given I was told the other day "you're so fat you'll probably be dead from a heart attack in 10 years" (I'm a size 14) I'm assuming not

@ohatefiftyfor As a Gen X who lived through that heroin chic phase in my teens, I agree that glorifying either extreme (underweight or overweight) is toxic for younger people.

My dh says he still finds me as sexy (size 18) as he did when we first met (size 10), his actions back up his words

If humans only founded one specific body type attractive the whole human race would have died out by now. The most unattractive thing to my partner is when I complain about the weight I have put on and say I'm sooo fat, I'm not I'm just a bit heavier than I was in my 20s. He loves me, he fancies me and I am slowly learning to ignore the fake crap media and influencers sell us and believe him.

And after all many people groups find different body types attractive and so did Ruebens!