Invited to hen but not wedding?

[Numnumnumnums]

That’s weird right?

friend is getting married. Invited to hen do (it’s abroad so paid my part, few hundred) received my save the date to the wedding, but not an actual invite to the wedding. Then saw on social media a post chasing people for their rsvp at the end of the month. Turns out I wasn’t invited.

no fall out, not an intimate family wedding. But that’s weird right to invite someone to the hen (especially a paid for one far away) and not to invite them to the wedding?

yabu-no it’s common
yanbu- yeah that’s weird and i wouldn’t go to the hen

I would usually not do anything. Some weddings are very expensive and a line has to be drawn somewhere. However, given the save the date, I think there’s possibly been an oversight so If I wanted to go I would actually ask this time.

Read the thread :)

not an oversight, not arsed about going and even if I was I would most certainly NOT be asking for an invite, that’s pretty humiliating

Why dis she send you a save the date for the wedding if you weren't invited?

I would absolutely not go on the hen do and if she didn't refund me any money I've lost them I would sever all contact with her.

I didn’t ask, i felt the message was clear when I messaged her and she was I meant to tell you, sounds like a decision was made to uninvite. I can’t be bothered to engage

I had this- paid for hen c £200 then just an evening wedding invite.

I realise now she used me to cut the costs of the hen accommodation

This is why I don't understand Save the Date

ie Make sure you make no other plans and hang around while I decide whether or not you're important enough to invite to the actual wedding