To think men prefer pale skin??

[Anastasia2]

Hi just a question to gather some opinions. Me and my friend went into the sauna this morning . A group of women were discussing fake tan & how it's useless as alot of men they've dated prefer lighter skin anyway..
My friend piped up - usually very opinionated and loud and said she's shocked as she's so pale and feels like next to me she looks ill.
(I am ethnic and my skin is a medium.brown shade)
Women proceeded to say about men actually prefer lighter skin, that its human nature and goes back to the eighteenth century.. i thi k these women were demographicallytaling about white males in their late 30s middle class as this seems to be the majority in the club were members at...Next thing a few men came into the sauna & they all got involved..they also said they neither preferred it they just didn't prefer "darker skin" it was a very uncomfortable conversation as I was the only one of colour 😂 but it did get me thinking if its true ..any thoughts?

Sounds like a pretty racist conversation tbh and I’m sure they were fully aware you were in the room and would be made uncomfortable.

And also, who gives a fuck what men prefer? Since when is that the standard we should hold ourselves to?

Everyone is different. Having said that, this is alien to me as I have very pale skin and have always been made to feel less than because of it. Men have still always found me attractive (and luckily my DH literally loathes the fake tan look) but as a child I was always asked if I was ill and the default seems to be that I can’t be happy being so light skinned. I also get more compliments and more male attention when I develop even a light tan in the sun, so it does seem to be tan=healthy/attractive.

Agreed.
I'm 100% white British but with a olive complexion. I was once told by a man and a woman (together) that I can't be an English Rose because my skin wasn't pale enough. They also said that men prefer the English Rose complexion.
Well I couldn't care less! I don't exist to be aesthetically pleasing to men. I don't actually believe me prefer pale skin anyway, but if they do its irrelevant to me and every other woman.

I'm asian, Indian and have an olive complexion. I'll be honest if someone was having that conversation around me I'd be uncomfortable and it does sound like a very racist conversation. Not all men prefer pale skin, just as not all men prefer blondes or brunettes or tall or short people. What a bizarrely colonial conversation going back to the 18th century, and that setting the beauty standard throughout the ages. I also think a beautiful woman is a confident one and of fake tan or a bit of holiday sun helps achieve that then so what.

Next thing a few men came into the sauna & they all got involved..they also said they neither preferred it they just didn't prefer "darker skin"

It's funny that the OP title for the thread is that men prefer lighter skinned women when the men literally said that they had no preference.
It was the women that was speculating that men prefer lighter skin, although it's hard to tell from the OP, whether that was in relation to fake tans or not.

The men were talking about dislike of fake tan. I wouldn't immediately jump to colourism assumption based on that conversation. There are so many mixed relationships out there, all sorts of combinations. It's illogical to deem men en masse prefer fairer skin based on a conversation by a few men, when you can open your eyes and see around you that it isn't the case. Men like who they like, be that dark skin or lighter skin. No different than women. & On the whole like tends to be attracted to like and that's fine.

@ItMustBeBedtimeSurely
And also, who gives a fuck what men prefer? Since when is that the standard we should hold ourselves to?

It isn’t exclusive to men, humans have preferences about pretty much everything. Women have preferences when it comes to men too, shaved or a beard, muscular or dad bod, different accents etc.

People aren’t usually restricted to their preferences and like other things, it’s just what they think is the best/most attractive option.

Women can also treat other women as lesser who don’t partake in trends with looks, such as lip filler, fake tan, nails done etc.

But you don’t have to hold yourself to anyone’s standard, regardless of gender.

I’ve used them all! I find mousse the best, Filter by MM is my fav.

Agree. And this post sounds like a made up BS situation, which I doubt ever happened.

I’ve had the opposite experience - men I know seem to prefer tanned skin over pale, freckly, blotchy blue/white skin! Which is unfortunately what I have. I was told by boys throughout school and university how unattractive my skin tone was.

DowntonAgain
It wouldn’t be the first time someone has made up a scenario which encourages the racists to comment. I’m not saying that is what this is, but it may be why a poster would question things

I thought same from the off. There was a post depicting a really improbable scenario about a White person blatantly displaying racism in front of the OP; of course whilst the racist scenario was unfolding, inexplicably OP had said nothing. & also barely commented on thread.

That post/thread eventually kicked off horribly as far as I can remember. The racists landed. Im glad to see this one hasn't gone that way and people arent turning on each other. But I can fully understand some posters questioning as tbh I immediately thought when I clicked on this post 'uh oh, s/he's back with the dogwhistle, here we go again' . The writing style is the same too.

I think they were talking about fake tan as most of it looks orange and most people would love your skin tone.

It goes back a lot further than the eighteenth century. Look at Ancient Egyptian art - men are depicted as much darker skinned than women. It can be a class thing as much as race, because until tans started to be pushed in the 1920s or so, a woman with tanned skin was likely to be doing outdoor work rather than being indoors most of the time.

They’ve made ridiculous assumptions there - everyone has different preferences, regardless of gender. Both preferences for different types of natural traits and positive/negative opinions of make up/tan/boob jobs etc.

It’s no secret that a lot of celebrity fame is about sex appeal (not meaning to disrespect the talent and hard work that actors, musicians etc have - just recognising the media circus that exists). If we all had the same tastes all the famous men and women would come in one type only - and they don’t.

Just to be more clear what the words were It wasn't based on fake tan or even tannned skin naturally
The group ofw"mid-late 50s" women put it to the men if there were two identical women just different skin tones who would you be more inclined for physical attractiveness" One said probably lighter but the other male said he wouldn't know until he physically saw this with his own two eyes.
And also said he did not prefer dark skin usually..The other 2 didn't actually.answer but sat agreeing with the women.

I would have taken it this way too.

I think (a lot of) men don’t like the fake look, so they won’t like fake tan but might like someone with a tan if you see what I mean? Equally the same person might like someone with really pale skin if it’s their natural look. A lot of the time it’s really obvious when someone has a fake tan.

Many people are racist and if they think our grandparents didn't know anyone with dark skin they're talking nonsense as my grandma was born in the 1930s and married a black man, older people aren't/weren't any more racist as this conversation makes clear! If you include the significantly racist or privately bigoted population then yes, pale skin is more attractive but who wants to be with someone who says things like 'i don't find darker skinned people attractive' I'm sorry that you had to hear such rubbish. I'm a white assumed mixed race person and it's amazing the things people feel comfortable saying when they think they're in the 'right' company. Of course colourism is also widely spread in all ethnic groups too.

You didn’t answer my question before.

As a black woman, I obviously don’t agree with this at all - but if you say your type is only white men then don’t you share their opinion?

What is the difference?

What? People are allowed to have types? It doesn’t make you racist, colourist, or any other ist to not fancy someone who isn’t your type.

people CAN be racist/colourist but that is completely separate to this conversation.

op asked TWO men whether their type is dark or light skinned women - TWO?! One said it would depend and one liked light skin as a personal preference.

Im white but men with “brown skin” is my type usually. Does that make me racist to white men? Does it make me racist to black men? I don’t feel so? I just happen to like a particular look. I also don’t tend to fancy blondes? Colourist? I also don’t feel any animosity toward them - can find them beautiful, just tend to lean towards my type.

honestly this is silly. No other country to people spend so much time of accusing one another of being bigots for no apparent reason!

Obviously not, at least not here in northern Europe where people spend so much time trying to tan.
It was also proved scientifically on a programme with one of the van Tullekens where they analysed preferences on dating websites.

Paleness symbolised wealth in the 19th Century, but now being able to get a tan symbolises wealth. Fake tan is a bit different, but I think if it's natural looking, it's popular. We tend to think people look better and healthier with a tan.

This actually shocks me as a pale redhead.....I've never ever been seen as attractive in any way at any point in my life In fact when I was younger I was bullied and teased due to my skin and red hair. So to me men prefer darker skin tones.

DH is half Italian, gorgeous olive skin, hazel eyes and black hair. I look like I’ve been using the arsenic laden make up of a Victorian lady! DS2 has his dads colouring. DS1 has mine, he refers to us as having ginger skin!! 😂