To think men prefer pale skin??

[Anastasia2]

Hi just a question to gather some opinions. Me and my friend went into the sauna this morning . A group of women were discussing fake tan & how it's useless as alot of men they've dated prefer lighter skin anyway..
My friend piped up - usually very opinionated and loud and said she's shocked as she's so pale and feels like next to me she looks ill.
(I am ethnic and my skin is a medium.brown shade)
Women proceeded to say about men actually prefer lighter skin, that its human nature and goes back to the eighteenth century.. i thi k these women were demographicallytaling about white males in their late 30s middle class as this seems to be the majority in the club were members at...Next thing a few men came into the sauna & they all got involved..they also said they neither preferred it they just didn't prefer "darker skin" it was a very uncomfortable conversation as I was the only one of colour 😂 but it did get me thinking if its true ..any thoughts?

Well this must be a nice post for dark skinned women to read.

Haven’t read the whole thread (is it full of racist shit yet?) but they sound like racist arseholes. Their opinion doesn’t matter imo.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone has made up a scenario which encourages the racists to comment. I’m not saying that is what this is, but it may be why a poster would question things.

For example, the poster that made up a scenario about her rescue cats name. Pages and pages of people believing the scenario, a couple of posters questioned it and it was deleted eventually as a PBP who had made up similar before. It happens. Again, not saying this is what this is, but I can understand posters questioning things.

Tanned skin used to indicate you worked in the fields, untanned meant you didn't need to work.

That was until the industrial revolution when you could be untanned because you work in a factory.

Then the last Russian Czar was trying to find a husband for his eldest, all the girls sat in the sun in the belief tanned skin would put the suitors off.

There is definitely a bias for lighter skin in people of colour in film and on TV. The likes of Jodie Turner-Smith are rare, and she has amazing skin.

I don't know if that is overt racism or not.

I think it’s interesting to pick apart what people mean when they say they have a type.

There is always a reason for people’s ‘type’ that goes beyond just physical attraction.

It isn’t a conscious thing necessarily but it’s nature vs nurture. As in if you were you but born in a completely different country around a different demographic of people, your ‘type’ would be different so it’s good to recognise the factors that have resulted in you having a type.

I am brown. That group sounds vile
Don't let people talk to you like that. I would have said" I don't give a fuck what men prefer". And walked out. They were dissing you.

All skin tones are attractive to different people. But that wasn't an appropriate discussion to have.

I would say yes unfortunately generally the world views lighter skin as more attractive but also caucasian Euro features or seeming ethnically ambiguous if you are brown.This is definitely due to colourism and racism.

Some white men will like pale skin,some don't care and some prefer a tanned white woman. When a white woman is tanned she still looks different to a naturally brown woman. There are men who actually like that orange fake tan look and even use fake tan on themselves such as the Essex clan.

Asian and African men generally prefer lighter skin tone.

White men generally prefer white women. I think cultural prejudices and genuine differences in background puts them off approaching non white women because it's just more complicated to date. A lot of darker Italian men for example love pale blonde women. Italy is known for colourism against Southerners. So maybe they want to spare their children colourism by mixing their genes with a light woman or feel it proves something about their worthiness and acceptance if they are with a pale woman. In many countries you're fussed over and treated so well just because you are born lighter and or with coloured eyes.
It's very sad.

@drumbeats

It went way beyond typical attraction , I used to be told constantly how pale my skin was, how they can't believe it, they've never seen anything like it before. In pretty sure it's NOT common nor typical sex behaviour for men to insist on comparing arms and leg colour with you and to vice how nice it is to see the contrast between the colour of your genitals while they inside you. I literally said it felt like I was fetishised. That's not typical.

Would you be so dismissive if I was a anything but a white woman, talking about white men treating her that way in bed?

I am non white mid 30s in London and I have only ever heard 'Ethnic' from white racist people referring to non white people. I have never heard a brown person call themselves Ethnic. Everyone has an ethnicity. The op does smell fishy, intention might have been nefarious but it was an interesting topic nevertheless.

I don't know why you are "going back to the 18th century" It goes back half a million years. Why do men or women prefer anything in the other sex? Mostly because it makes successful reproduction more likely.

In a temperate climate like the UK, women with pale skin and blond hair are more likely to have a successful pregnancy, as they are more able to absorb sunlight and make vitamin D which is needed for the bones of the foetus.

In a hotter climate women with dark skin are more likely to have a successful pregnancy as they are more protected from dangerous ultraviolet radiation.

These ancient primitive responses may or may not be incorporated into modern day sexual preferences, but only as one aspect among many thousands of other conscious and subconscious considerations

I'd be finding new friends if I were you.

my husband is middle eastern and i know lighter skin is preferred. women use lightening cream constantly. I think beautiful is beautiful regardless of shade of skin

There are many discussions about colourism to be had. But a sauna wasn't the place to have it.

I don't want to say what race I am because of previous posts I have made..afraid of outing myself..Well I am not white/English..is that better?

Whatever they meant, OP, I imagine you are very beautiful. I grew up in a very white part of the UK and wished I had dark hair and beautiful coffee coloured skin like the one girl in my school who was of a different ethnicity (she was adopted). I don't even tan - just burn or get more freckles 😄 I don't understand this idea that the minority is the less attractive option - surely that's the wrong way around? Perhaps my opinion doesn't count, as I'm a woman 😂

Freckles are somewhat rare where I am - not completely unheard of but rare enough that I only knew a few people with freckles when I was a child - and I used to be rather envious. I really wanted those freckles! 😂

Just goes to show that we tend to prefer what we can’t get / don’t have.

And I do agree that some “rare” features or traits tend to be viewed as more attractive…

Fake tan is fake it stands out a mile I am 99% sure of dh type and fake tan is nowhere near it thankfully its awful stuff

I think there are men who have preferences for dark skin, pale skin and everything in between. Just like there are men who have preferences for blondes or brunettes, blue eyes or brown eyes and so on. There will also be men who don’t care either way.

I agree that they were likely suggesting natural skin tone is preferable to fake tan as that’s common.

I’m glow in the dark and look ill pale! When I first met my DH, he told me he had a preference for Latina women with tanned skin! We had a (somewhat lighthearted) conversation as I was slightly offended 😂 But over the years he constantly compliments my ‘milky’ skin and hated it when I got spray tans. He now doesn’t have a massive preference either way tbh, I think taste can also change with age.

Of course racism.

"Women proceeded to say about men actually prefer lighter skin, that its human nature and goes back to the eighteenth century."

This is cultural not "human nature". On the 18th C in Europe lighter skin indicated you didn't have to work outside for a living therefore sign of status.

Chanel managed to popularise the tan when being able to spend time outside was a luxury.

This thread is batshit! So many people declaring categorically what men do and do not prefer. Really weird.

Sorry, I'm not sure what is "allowed" to say.
In my experience, OP, yes. And slim. Glad that
I don't care anymore. 😊

Colourism definitely exists, as does racism. There's probably someone out there who actively seeks out a tangerine bottle tan too.

These people sound awful OP, but as a fat, brown, middle-aged woman, I can confirm that it never really affected me when dating.

Yeah I'm starting to think this now. I'm black and hate the term 'ethnic'. She may well just be a bit ignorant on the topic.

Does anybody feel like a number of issues are being conflated here. I don't know if colourism in the BIPOC community and white British men preferring lighter or darker skin in white women are the same thing. Particularly since in Britain, most tans come out of a bottle with varying degrees of success.
I think the racism came more from the conversation assuming that white is the "default",and not considering that other people exist.

Men THINK they prefer women who are not "done" - no fake tan, no lashes, no brows, no fillers, no botox, etc. Low maintenance they call it. Little do they know... :)