To think men prefer pale skin??

[Anastasia2]

Hi just a question to gather some opinions. Me and my friend went into the sauna this morning . A group of women were discussing fake tan & how it's useless as alot of men they've dated prefer lighter skin anyway..
My friend piped up - usually very opinionated and loud and said she's shocked as she's so pale and feels like next to me she looks ill.
(I am ethnic and my skin is a medium.brown shade)
Women proceeded to say about men actually prefer lighter skin, that its human nature and goes back to the eighteenth century.. i thi k these women were demographicallytaling about white males in their late 30s middle class as this seems to be the majority in the club were members at...Next thing a few men came into the sauna & they all got involved..they also said they neither preferred it they just didn't prefer "darker skin" it was a very uncomfortable conversation as I was the only one of colour 😂 but it did get me thinking if its true ..any thoughts?

A guy at work (who I see three times a week minimum for full days) said to me “have you always been blonde?”… I had bright red hair for 3 years until last May and it was the first time he noticed. I’m not convinced many men have strong opinions/even notice.

My parents grew up in the whitest place in the world. Fair amount of racism about the unknown, but my maternal GPs were very egalitarian for their time (for any time actually). My paternal ones were reasonably OK.

My dad describes seeing my great aunt, who was South African, get off the train when he was a small boy and she had just married my great uncle. She was a woman of colour and my dad she was the most beautiful, elegant woman he had ever seen. I've seen pictures, she was very posh for small town Scotland!

There probably is an element of some people liking the familiar and some people seeking the new.

I cant speak for all men but i can say on behalf of my 2 adult boys and their mates.
They like real skin (their words not mine) they dont like fake tans massive brows and over made-up with makeup and long false nails and fake hair extensions.

Interesting though that you are in company that feel comfortable enough to say that they find lighter (or white) skin more attractive than dark skin in front of you. And you yourself hold these very same feelings - ie: preferring white men over black, Asian men etc.

Do you think this is all just the by product of you growing up or living in an area where white people make up the majority?

Maybe if you pick apart the reasons that you have these preferences, you might better understand why the men in your area hold the same views.

In my experience men prefer woman with darker skin, and women prefer men with darker skin too 🤷‍♀️ that said, there's nothing as bad looking as a bad fake tan

For reference I'm Irish

Sounds pretty racist to me, I’d assume most men would have other attributes higher up their list than how light/dark someone’s skin is.

That was very rude of them all but I do think that they were commenting on the fact that natural skin looks better than skin with fake tan, I think that fake tan no matter how carefully it is applied ends up looking dirty in a lot of areas like knees, elbows, ankles, neck and hands, clean natural skin no matter what colour it is looks better than that…..I’m pale but would love to be naturally darker but alas it will never be because I don’t even tan in the sun, I just burn

After that.
In the seventies and eighties people wanted a tan to look wealthy. In came sun beds.

I worked in a company with pretty much 96% first generation Indian and I remember being agog that when they talked about babies being so beautiful as they had such pale skin ! I was so envious of their beautiful dark skin given my Irish pale skin with rosacea !

Definitely not! Surely no one wants (and I say this as a celt-gael with practically no melanin!) pale as pale skin?! It's a nightmare. I can't go anywhere without burning in about 2 seconds and I'm sure my DH and my Xs were baffled by me basically having to cover up and wear factor 50 at all times. Am sure your friends are totally wrong.

I would have walked out. In a 1:1 conversation, a witty put down would have worked a treat. But a room full of racists? Sod that. I'd have just left.

Those were racist comments and designed to make you feel awkward and othered.

Imagine being with a friend and speaking like that about one of their characteristics and inviting others to do so.

Those are not friends and I’d rethink whether there have been other times they have done similar.

They sound like idiots op. Especially considering they said it in front of you. 🙄 I really wouldn’t take it to mean anything. Also people genuinely like different things. It’s like if they all said that men always prefer blonds (and actually a lot of men very much prefer brunettes!)
The reality is that a lot of men don’t like the ott fake tan look. They were probably just trying to make themselves feel better.

They sound pretty thick tbh

I wouldn't dwell on it op. Everyone likes different things and I don't think anyone can say men or women absolutely prefer one specific aesthetic. In the end, most people find someone to suit them. And if the majority of MN threads are to be believed, many women can be badly treated by men, no matter what their skin colour is!

Honestly to make a comment like that, in that context, sounds kind of racist.

My experience is that skin colour doesn't matter, aside from with racists, and preferences are cultural. Given a complete preference people might prefer clear and evenly toned natural skin, but I don't think how pale you are matters. People are drawn to striking features (when already beautiful women have them, anyway!) so I guess that someone very very pale would attract attention, as it's quite unusual.

Where I'm from (mediterranean country) there is a preference for natural tan over pale skin.

Clearly some people have a type (look at Rod Stewart’s wives) but not everyone does. Different people like different things.

In certain cultures, Chinese, Korean and Japanese light skin is seen as more desirable, see all those women of Asian descent with hats on when they go out in the summer, that’s what that is. Being tanned is linked with being a field worker and deemed lower class. I was raised to not get tanned, I mean I tan ridiculously easily. It may be one reason why Asian women tend to look younger, they have avoided those rays.

@Skiphopbump Your friend is certainly telling you the truth.

Obviously the incident outlined is dodgy at best racist at worst. But there is a world of difference between a white person with an awful fake tan and natural skin tones of every type.

Great news for me...... my Celtic skin takes two weeks in full sun to go from blue to white!

40 years to late, but hey ho!

I think every man is different. I've always had a bit of a thing for Dutch men that are tall with fair skin and light hair. I like the accent too. I don't imagine for one second that all women share my taste! 😅

So the weird thing about skin colour is that most people in the world are either too light or too dark for current fashion. Gingers get abuse, poc get abuse. The optimal colour seems to be a Mediterranean tan but even Mediterraneans only have that in the summer. So people dye themselves orange in pursuit of a fleeting shade. I’m not sure what the point of it all is. Why we don’t just accept everyone and ourselves for the colour they/we are.

Why are a group of women sitting round discussing what "men prefer" you aren't a range of Barbie dolls!!

How about you be yourselves and make your own minds up about who (male or female) is a great person to spend time with.

I honestly think it depends where in the world you are - in the UK/US the tanned/lightly tanned, blonde look is seen as most attractive.

In Asia there's a definite preference for very pale skin (I guess because it's rarer there). I am very very pale and people in the UK have told me to fake tan before/I look ill - whereas people I've met in Asia have told me my skin is absolutely stunning and been envious of it.

I live in the UK but I've decided to just ignore the fact milk white skin is unattractive here and go with the Asian beauty standard to make me feel better 😂

I’m pretty sure men don’t like my shade of pale. My husband says I’m blue. He definitely prefers it when I have a spray tan. Most people look better with some colour. I’ve been fake tanning since I was 15.

Fwiw I’m part Asian and I think very white skin is lovely I also like really dark skin. I don’t know why people make such a fuss about it all.