To think men prefer pale skin??

[Anastasia2]

Hi just a question to gather some opinions. Me and my friend went into the sauna this morning . A group of women were discussing fake tan & how it's useless as alot of men they've dated prefer lighter skin anyway..
My friend piped up - usually very opinionated and loud and said she's shocked as she's so pale and feels like next to me she looks ill.
(I am ethnic and my skin is a medium.brown shade)
Women proceeded to say about men actually prefer lighter skin, that its human nature and goes back to the eighteenth century.. i thi k these women were demographicallytaling about white males in their late 30s middle class as this seems to be the majority in the club were members at...Next thing a few men came into the sauna & they all got involved..they also said they neither preferred it they just didn't prefer "darker skin" it was a very uncomfortable conversation as I was the only one of colour 😂 but it did get me thinking if its true ..any thoughts?

I am brown and I could give two fingers what certain men go for... attraction works both ways and I doubt I'd look twice at any of those who deemed me unattractive solely due to my features.

Thank you for answering, I see what you are saying and I think you’re right. Maybe part of the issue is that I don’t think of myself being the older generation 😂

I also work in a very liberal / left wing field and mix with similar people so perhaps have a limited perspective.

I’ll tell that to my brother’s girlfriend who’s mixed race shall I? She’s married to a white man, dated my DB for several years who’s also white, and anyone she’s dated by preference has been white. I’m sure my DB and her husband don’t fetishise her as a mixed race woman by dating/sleeping with her for that reason. She’s got nothing against black men and has several as friends but didn’t find them attractive sexually or for dating in the past.

Exactly. You probably surround yourself with decent people, and if you're white you just don't experience it yourself on the regular.

Sounds like an irritating conversation when you just want to relax in the sauna, jeez.

For what it's worth I don't think men prefer the very pale English rose look, I think they like the lightly tanned Instagram model type.

Huh? Different men have different preferences, like everyone. Ignore it.

I always get compliments from men, when I have a light or medium tan, I’ve got a glow apparently! Not the same with fake tan.

Obviously I'm generalising. I'm not saying this applies to every man in the world. Just that those who do base their preferences for certain things on ethnicity do so because of things that are deeply culturally ingrained for numerous complex reasons.

Do you think all these celebs coat themselves in fake tan because it's been shown to make them look less attractive?

Bar a handful who don't.

My partner is white too, he loves my skin and wants me to be proud of my hair,skin tone and curves.

I’m really sorry you experienced that. If the people are generally decent, they may have been insensitive rather than deliberately racist. Sometimes people forget how loaded some subjects are, for some people.

I’m a ghostly white, blotchy, pinkish grey woman who can’t be bothered with fake tan, which remains blotchy of the skin below is blotchy.

I greatly admire darker skin tones. I especially love the way deeply pigmented eye makeup looks on dark skins.

I am completely white, rarely tan, brown hair. I find it hard ti get makeup to match my skin

I think men like a natural light tan if a woman is white or a brown tone for a woman of colour.

The amount of comnents I get from men and women if I wear a skirt in summer with my natural white legs Even my mother said to put fake tan on.

The amount of times I heard men say to me, you need to get sun you are SOO white. We are in Northern Europe snd don't GET sun.

We were all from this country when I was younger, not UK. The women who were most successful at gettung boyfriends were olive skinned or blonde with a light tan.

I do get what you’re saying but please bear in mind this isn’t always the case. I think a couple of black friends I know who are married to white men would be appalled if they thought it was a fetish. Having said that I do know a white man (mother white dad Sicilian) who openly stated he liked black women and is now married to one.

Wow! I can't imagine ever talking like that- ever, let alone when someone with darker skin was present. It's a classic example of casual racism where the group probably (hopefully) didn't make any of those comments maliciously but with had a complete lack of awareness of how their words might affect others. I think this is what we're up against today. Fewer people are overtly racist these days but this casual undercurrent and unconscious bias is still there.

Why is this necessarily racism? Sure in some cases it is.
In many it is literally a preference. People are allowed preferences.

I think people are fundamentally attracted to healthy bodies.

So naturally dark skin? Gorgeous.

Fake tanned skin of a unnatural shade? Less so.
Heavily sun tanned fair skin? Can look damaged so its another no.

Fairer skin with a bit of healthy glow from being outdoors in summer? Fab

Men don't like fake tan. They don't really care what colour your natural skin.

Ew.

that is both weird, rude and racist.

I would think they were all trying to make themselves feel better. Unfortunately they made you feel worse.

Mist people think an olive tobe or darker tone looks nicer than a snow white blue veinef tone. Because the majority of people are of the white blue veined, they will say this to make themselves feel better.

Extremely pale skin can also indicate health conditions (of course not always!!) - anaemia, vitamin deficiencies etc.

I can see why it made you feel bad and it was a bit racist of them too.

But I think men have as much variety in their tastes as women do. Only talking about white people, some people think tans are gorgeous and some think they look tacky. It's a matter of taste and personal preference.

There will also be some people who only are attracted to those of their own ethnicity. Which is a shame but not a lot that we can do about them.

I'm fully aware that not every white man on earth who is with a black woman, is due to fetishization. I'll use my parents as an example. You only need to Google it to realise.

It happens in all walks of life. My friend told me she wanted to have a baby with a black man once because she wanted an afro baby. There are dozens of Instagram accounts of mixed race kids with people commenting on how gorgeous they are (weird). And of course I've had my own experiences.

Of course it's not everyone, but it is a thing.

Should also point out there is a difference between JLo having a superbly applied fake tan, and Jane attempting a Superdrug home kit and turning herself patchy and orange.

Fake tan done well looks lovely. Fake tan gone wrong is not the same thing.

someone should tell the tribes of orange women that I see on the tube.
Usually with plastic spiders attached to their eyelids.