To HATE my dog

[Blossomo]

We have a 7 year old pug who literally drives me nuts, he comes upstairs whilst we are out pisses on the banister. I am so sick of cleaning/re-painting. We have quite a big garden and all he does is chase passers by barking constantly. I know a dog is for life and everything but since having kids I really do not have the time and every time I look at him he just annoys me. It is really unfair to him as he could be with a family who love him, dont get me wrong, the kids LOVE him so I could not get rid but he just really gets on my nerves. I used to love dogs, we got a cat a year or so ago and he is amazing!

innocent animal, Christ. The deranged thing barely knows it’s alive and is fed on demand, walked and has its shit cleaned up after it, but poor dog. You do have to question what this dog is adding to your life other than issues. Get him rehomed,

He needs a vet check, late onset marking in male dogs can be caused by prostate issues. Just like older men, male dogs’ prostates can become enlarged in later life, causing urinary issues. If it is that neutering would be curative. This happened to one of my rescues. He came to me entire and wasn’t neutered on veterinary advice. He started weeing in the house aged about 7 and turned out to have an enlarged prostate. He was neutered and it fixed the problem pretty much overnight.

Alternatively, it could be anxiety, especially if he only does it when left alone at home. This is also worth discussing with your vet and a behaviourist would be able to help you/him.

Shall we start with your comment then?

This might be an unpopular opinion but I treat my dog like the ANIMAL, yes ANIMAL that he is. I do not love him like I love my children and to think that is a possibility I think is slightly unhinged. I know lots of people have huge bonds with their dogs and treat them like humans, but realistically, all they care about is where their next meal is coming from. I feed him, walk him, clean him, and he gets lots of love from my children. My SIL treats her dog like an actual human and in all honesty, I think it is quite sad.

I care about him and would not want any harm to come to him, yes, since having children my opinion has changed as my responsibilities changed and ultimately they come first!

Ok @Blossomo , but your dog thinks you are family and thinks he is family. So do the kids.
And the breed you have chosen is designed to be family!

You have a responsibility even if he is an animal to put basics like a stair gate in place.

I wish.

Does your SIL's dog wee in the house? I think it is really sad that you have a dog who you hate.

No but she has become an entitled little thing who barks and growls at other dogs, she even attacked mine.

If you're using ANIMAL to mean "thing" then you're a total idiot. You do realise animals are sentient beings with emotional lives and needs, especially when you bring a dog into a family?

"I treat my dog like an ANIMAL" sounds like code for "I don't think my dog's needs are important because he's ONLY a dog and therefore I shall treat him as an inconvenience now his needs are beyond minimal". Nice, OP. This is exactly why people shouldn't own dogs. You have a duty of care to your "ANIMAL" whether you like it or not, and you know it. You just don't want to be bothered.

This. You need to take your dog to the vet if you haven't already.

It's most likely a sign that something is wrong as dogs don't just start weeing where they shouldn't for no reason.

How strange that you are both having trouble with your dogs.

Are you using a cleaner specifically designed for pet urine?

I think it’s clear from your last reply just how much contempt you have for this poor creature. Let him go. Someone upthread has given details of the Pug rescue. Please let him go and give him up for someone who will treat him how he should be treated, with kindness and respect as a living creature not just ‘AN ANIMAL’ as you so nicely out it ffs!
And please, never get a dog again.

There is good advice here in why your dog does this and how you can help his behaviour
but the best thing you can do for him is to re-home him. Do it via a breed specific rescue, there will be pug rescue, contact them now. Poor miserable, bored dog.

How old are your dc op? And when did this behaviour start? Any particular event coincide with it like moving house or youngest starting school?

He sounds like a lovely dog btw but he and your family are mismatched because he probably needs more one on one with lots of attention and you need a dog who is more aloof and independent.

The peeing is probably stress related due to separation anxiety.

~ vet check to rule out physical issue and discuss castration if he is entire
~ put all emotion like hate or frustration out of your mind and treat your dog’s unwanted behaviour as a communication signal - he’s not doing it to upset you personally - his behaviour is telling you something
~ video his behaviour when he is alone and you are all out (easily achieved using cheap indoor security camera)
~ ask behaviourist to help
~ buy the book Calming Signals by Turid Rugaas
~ stair gate
~ allocate an older kid to be his main number one person if you have a child over eight or nine years
~ give him his own little secure area within the home such as a (very large) crate with blankets, toys, where he can hear radio, and put some old jumpers of yours in it that has your scent on it or the scent of his main “person” and some chews
-once pee issue solved ask behaviourist to work on barking and sort area in garden that he doesn’t feel he has to constantly defend.

Honestly, I don’t usually suggest this, but if none of the above strategies work then I would consider re-homing him and getting your dc Guinea pigs instead or no pets! I think that is preferable to living in a household for another seven years where he is seen as an inconvenience and no one has time for him. Good luck! If he is sociable and friendly out on walks that is giving you a big clue.

Good luck op.

Knock yourself out if that floats your boat.

Absolutely this.

So are people tbf

Poor dog. He's probably picked up on your hate and annoyance, add his shit life to that and you have stress soiling.
If you're not going to spend the time and money on him and hate him then you should do the right thing for everyone and rehome him, you're not setting a good example to your kids either.

Too late to edit but meant to add to list of “to dos” :

~ start “look at me” training, keep part of his dinner back and use that rather than loads of extra treats and reward him if he looks at you, come to you etc on your command “look at me”. Do it frequently throughout the day for a couple of months and when on walks too. You can add on sit and stay later. And substitute food element with strokes and affection later.

^^ this is foundation of all training and will help you with recall and diverting his attention away from barking in the garden (give him something more interesting to do like dig area or toys) and eventually, when you remove stair gate, away from stairs.

Why didn’t you get him neutered first thing, esp as you did your cat?
I don’t know much about dogs but I’m sure that you should neuter them too.
And training is also v important- h have many friends who have dogs and know they take them to be socialised/trained.

Get the dog neutered - it reduces leg cocking in inappropriate times.

Make sure the dog isn't bored and is getting plenty of stimulation. Walks are great and sniffing uses LOTS of mental energy so 30 minutes very slow shuffle round the neighbourhood sniffing every 5 feet makes the dog more tired than a 30 minute jog. 2 walks a day is ideal and some other company / activity in the day time.

Babygate to stop dog going up stairs.

My male
Dachshund was very hard to train he's 1 now and much better it's not that we didn't put the time in to train him he was just very very stubborn probably the worst dog to train too! I would say get him neutered, put a baby gate up at the bottom of the stairs, as with the barking when he's outside play with him with his toys in the garden, hide treats so he can sniff them out, or put his Kong outside so he can be distracted from just barking.

Anyone who has ever had a bond with a dog will know that 'all they care about is where their next meal is coming from' is absolute bull.

There is something between hating 'the ANIMAL' and treating a dog like a human @Blossomo. Animals need properly researched care for the entirety of their life not just until your eye goes off the ball because you have adult responsibilities and a new cat.

You yourself said, "It is really unfair to him as he could be with a family who love him" so why don't you do the decent thing and make that happen.