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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To HATE my dog

238 replies

Blossomo · 04/03/2024 16:11

We have a 7 year old pug who literally drives me nuts, he comes upstairs whilst we are out pisses on the banister. I am so sick of cleaning/re-painting. We have quite a big garden and all he does is chase passers by barking constantly. I know a dog is for life and everything but since having kids I really do not have the time and every time I look at him he just annoys me. It is really unfair to him as he could be with a family who love him, dont get me wrong, the kids LOVE him so I could not get rid but he just really gets on my nerves. I used to love dogs, we got a cat a year or so ago and he is amazing!

OP posts:
SomersetTart · 04/03/2024 20:33

@BoobyDazzler
Battersea are going to be biased in their differing opinion.

Their professional opinion is obviously going to be based on the 160 years of work they have put into caring for unwanted puppies and dogs.

I'd still love to hear from any vets on the subject of the value or otherwise of neutering.

ttcat37 · 04/03/2024 20:37

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Caroparo52 · 04/03/2024 20:38

My rescue dog wasn't toilet trained. I rushed her outside each time she weed or pooed inside and it took a while but we got there . I praise her for going outside and have a trigger word for the whole toilet procedure.
I realised she wasn't going to read a manual on toilet training it was up to me to teach her...

SaladIsShitAndWeAllKnowIt · 04/03/2024 20:40

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This!!!

FFS op.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 04/03/2024 20:44

You need to clean it properly, get an enzyme cleaner and start training again from scratch.

The kids give the dog love at least. I can see your frustrated by his peeing and it would drive me nuts too.

penjil · 04/03/2024 20:50

Pugs are the most irritating dogs going.
I've known 2 separate people to have one, and I would never have one, despite my immense love for dogs.

What benefit is there to having a pug over any other dog?

KomodoOhno · 04/03/2024 20:50

A stairgate will immediately stop the going upstairs. He's too short to jump over.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 04/03/2024 21:02

Advertise him on borrow my doggy and find a local borrow person who can take him sometimes - he'll be spoiled and you get a break

BlueMonday1977 · 04/03/2024 21:08

What a nasty thread full of bullying comments! Fucking hell this site is such a cesspit of bitches sometimes.

puzzledout · 04/03/2024 21:10

BlueMonday1977 · 04/03/2024 21:08

What a nasty thread full of bullying comments! Fucking hell this site is such a cesspit of bitches sometimes.

You don't think making a post saying I HATE my dog is going to get HATE responses?

Of course it will, people feel very strongly about this sort of thing.

Justifiably in my opinion!

Ap24 · 04/03/2024 21:16

penjil · 04/03/2024 20:50

Pugs are the most irritating dogs going.
I've known 2 separate people to have one, and I would never have one, despite my immense love for dogs.

What benefit is there to having a pug over any other dog?

I can see why people find pugs irritating. All breeds have different character traits. Pugs are very needy, they were bred to be lap dogs so they crave constant attention. But surely that's the point of researching the breed before you get one.

Stopsmotheringmeeeeeee · 04/03/2024 21:16

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Lol

SomersetTart · 04/03/2024 21:17

BlueMonday1977 · 04/03/2024 21:08

What a nasty thread full of bullying comments! Fucking hell this site is such a cesspit of bitches sometimes.

There were also a lot of really helpful advice and suggestions in response to an original post that was completely negative and bound to produce strong emotions from the outset.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 04/03/2024 21:19

Always been a dog person and I don’t hate my current dog but since getting cats I have definitely become a bit of a kitty convert!

You don’t give much information as to whether the urinating issue is new or if you can identify a trigger. If it is new and you can’t identify a trigger then I would start by having him vet checked including supplying a urine sample to rule out medical causes. Make sure you are cleaning the area with a biological washing agent or professional cleaner otherwise he will still be able to smell where he has been even if you can’t which will encourage his return. If the dog is only urinating upstairs then the simplest solution is to put up a gate to try and break the cycle. If needs be confine him to a room with hard floors when you have to go out so if he does pee its easily cleaned / disinfected.

People seem to be overly focusing on neutering here but if an un-neutered dog has reached 7 without issue before this behaviour starting then neutering isn’t going to address the actual underlying cause and is unlikely to solve the issue unless its related to something medical like an enlarged prostate for example.

I had a similar issue regarding inappropriate urination with my dog not that long ago, Pomeranian, similar age (9) no apparent trigger, neutered, many tests and medical issues ruled out. I came on here (dog boards) for advice and just found people super unhelpful, just like how everyone on this thread has done nothing but fixate on neutering, everyone just fixated on the fact I dare leave him home alone to go to work. I don’t / didn’t hate him but the behaviour is definitely deflating and highly stress inducing especially when its on carpets and soft furnishings. In my case the affected areas always seemed to be the sofa, the upstairs carpets and my bed, I professionally cleaned everywhere and literally put a few very small steps into place such as a cover on the sofa, a stair gate on the stairs so no unsupervised access to upstairs / carpets, no coming onto my bed and (touch wood) the behaviour stopped as quickly as it started. We’re on 5 weeks now and the last couple of days I’ve just started letting him back onto the bed with me in the mornings for a short while.

A trainer will be able to offer advice on tackling the barking, in the meantime if he barks at people you make him come straight back in, if he's not out he physically can’t be running up & down barking at people going past.

Stopsmotheringmeeeeeee · 04/03/2024 21:20

MarjorieOsborne · 04/03/2024 16:23

Very well put. 👏

Jesus wept.

Penda85 · 04/03/2024 21:22

My lovely dog (departed now) was neutered and he pissed on absolutely everything I owned his entire life. I never managed to stop him doing it in the end I put him in a dog nappy. He would get this off sometimes but usually just piss in it too. He was a happy lovely dog with a lovely home and so loved and STILL PISSED everywhere. Never big wees - just small territory marking wees. He just enjoyed it I reckon. No amount of training or banning him from rooms helped. I just could not stop him! He would trot into any room and just do it in front of me! He loved him dearly but he gave me grey hair that dog

Pigglyplaystruant99 · 04/03/2024 21:22

OP I used to work in a welfare capacity for a pug charity . It's not my place to judge albeit you will be thrown to the devil on here. Please be honest with YOURSELF. If you have no bond with him and feel the way you do, please contact

pugwelfare-rescue.org.uk/surrendering-your-pug/

PDWRA are an excellent UK charity who have been established for many years and ensure each pug is rehomed to a suitable forever home. In my experience, pugs are usually happy in a new home within 48 hrs , (or until next fed!) and they adapt very, very quickly. Please, please, do not advertise anywhere online like Facebook and Pets4Homes. With those behavioural traits, he needs a behaviourist to help and if you rehome him without that help, he could ultimately end up being passed from pillar to post for ever. You owe it to him to give him his best life. PDWRA will help him.

Frequency · 04/03/2024 21:23

He sounds understimulated and untrained. This is 100% on you, OP and 100% managable.

Have him neutered. Crate train him for when you are out/unable to supervise. Go back to basics with toilet training. Establish a good routine for him including mental stimulation along with physical exercise eg scent games or clicker training and seek help from a qualified behaviourist.

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/03/2024 21:27

Castration isn't an automatic for a male dog - it carries risks and downsides too. However his marking would be enough to warrant investigating it, but I would be far more inclined to try chemical castration first to see how he copes with it. He needs training too.

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/03/2024 21:28

And my dogs aren't castrated. They do not display maladaptive behaviours.

JanetareyouokareyouokJanet · 04/03/2024 21:40

Poor dog. He deserves much better.

PurpleClovers · 04/03/2024 22:30

BlueMonday1977 · 04/03/2024 21:08

What a nasty thread full of bullying comments! Fucking hell this site is such a cesspit of bitches sometimes.

Perhaps don’t come on saying you hate an animal you got before your children were born especially in AIBU? AIBU has always been a board that people can give their opinions and you can’t post asking for opinions without being able to take the good advice with the bad.

Challenge comments that you feel are bitchy. I do! Otherwise, here’s the link for Netmums for you. Tattle Life is good too…

https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/

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Join the chat about parenting and family life in the Netmums forum. Whether you're trying to conceive (TTC), pregnant or

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Busby88 · 04/03/2024 22:34

How old are your DC?

My dogs don’t piss everywhere but I have found how I feel about them has massively changed since we had kids, especially our second for some reason. I wish I loved them as much as I did pre kids but the barking, hair shedding, general dog behaviour (which I absolutely do not blame them for) is really triggering for some reason with babies, especially since we had our second. My youngest isn’t yet 1 so I’m really my hoping this fades over time as I feel like a terrible person.

PrincessZelda89 · 04/03/2024 23:02

I literally detest people who whinge they haven’t got time for their pets anymore after having kids. That poor dog. It sounds like you aren’t even willing to try any training or even a vet visit to try and solve the issue. The dog deserves better. Rehome it.

Crikeyalmighty · 04/03/2024 23:11

We do borrow my doggy and all the dogs we have had so far were bought in lockdown- they are all cute looking dogs and nice personalities but in my opinion not one of the 4 we have had is very well trained. Many People seem to have abandoned proper training in the rush to get a dog that filled the lockdown void

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