To veto DH taking baby out on push bike?!

[Amidying]

We have a 19 month old son. DH has got it in his head that at some point in the future, he is going to take DS out on his push bike with one of those seats that go on the back of a bike! Now he hasn’t specified what age DS would be but it would be pre-school age by the sound of it. I have said no way will I allow it as it’s not safe. This is not an essential mode of transport either, so I totally understand that for some people there is no choice but to travel this way with their child, but we have 2 cars! This would be to ride a short distance on the road to our local park or beach which is about 10 mins, but I still can’t get onboard with the idea.

I said to him: We have just spent £300 getting the safest car seat we could afford and you want to take him out on a push bike before he can even ride a bike himself?! He reckons I am being the overprotective mother and it will teach him road safety and help him learn how to ride a bike responsibly. I reckon he is insane and we are at a standoff.

His argument is that his dad did it with him when he was little and it’s one of his earliest happy memories, which is all lovely but we have come a long way safety wise since then. When I was a kid people used to smoke next to me, car seats weren’t a thing, my cousins and me used to pile into car with some of us in the footwells! So where does it end? We have to move with the times surely?! I would prefer to teach DS to ride when the time comes and when he reaches the right age he can do a road safety awareness course or something, I dunno. I hadn’t really thought about it because for me it’s way off into the future!

UABU= chill sista, let them ride
UANBU= its insane and unsafe

I couldn't have borne it when mine were young. Just too risky, and there are plenty of other ways to exercise with babies.

YAB massively massively U and you need to ditch the cotton wool.
Your DC will enjoy it and get a taste for cycling and hopefully be a healthy adult who is happy to take appropriate risks and not be overly anxious
Get a grip.

You are massively over reacting. We took both our boys from 12 months in a wee ride seat at the front. By 19 months they graduated to the back. We use off road trails and paths and wear helmets for us all

I’m with you OP, but the roads round here are really dangerous.

Assuming the roads are 30mph limit, I am surprised people are comparing the risk of a toddler being knocked off a bike to the risk of a toddler in a car seat in a modern car being involved in a RTA. One would probably be very much more lethal for your baby than the other.

I am super anxious and worry about a lot but I would be fine with this (unless the roads were really bad). Do you have a bike? Could you all cycle together? Or encourage your DH to get a balance bike for your DC and use that instead if you would feel better about it?

In the country where I live, this is how most 1 year old gets to nursery (and everywhere else).

I think it completely depends on the roads

Depends on the roads. DH used to take out eldest out like that. By 3yo she wasn't strapped in as he had a tandem-style attacment. She loves it and still does now she's 7. But he takes her on roads with good visibility and never at school run/commuter times as people are more likely to be tired and in a rush.

Given this post I’d definitely say no. My aunt lives on south Kent coast unsure of speed limits but last time I was there and driving there were 2 separate accidents along the coastal roads.

I'm 100% with you, I think they're death traps on roads , I'm in central London though and have seen a fair few accidents and plenty more near misses, the way people ride with toddlers on the back of bikes and in boxes on the front of bikes round here makes me cringe, I'd only allow it in a park or along a sea wall, not even a cycle path ...

I don’t have a bike but I’m a terrible cyclist. I wouldn’t enjoy cycling but if it’s going to be a big part of DH and DCs life I may have to get better and join in at some point. DC already has a balance bike but isn’t fond of sitting on it yet!

My DD has only been on a bike a few times but it was all before she was 2 and she loved it! 70% of the kids at nursery arrive in the back on a bike!
FWIW my dad had an accident whilst cycling with a trailer with my brothers where the trailer overturned, but never had any issue with the seats

No way. Ever.

It’s a very very normal activity, and not or. I would class as outdoorsy or adventurous, it’s just different to your upbringing and area you seemed to grow up in. We went in then from babies/toddlers and so did my DCs and all my friendship group, I personally preferred the trailer when it was me cycling though.

It never concerned or bothered me at all - but I find it far more nerve wracking once they get on their own bikes!

He won’t need to learn road safety now though? He’ll just be sitting there. He might copy a few of your DHs hand signals but that’s about it.

I’m with you OP, I wouldn’t do it nor let my husband do it.

but I’ll also RF my kids til they are at least 6

I said that because road safety was one of DH’s arguments for it. It’s not how or when I would choose to introduce road safety education. Maybe he just said it to try to sell me the idea!

Sounds like you’re on the same page as me. I’ve just forked out on a Swedish plus tested ERF car seat and DC will be rear facing until he reaches the weight/height limit after the age of 4. I find it ridiculous that we’ve gone to great lengths to make him as safe as possible in a car and then we go and stick him on the back of a bike just for fun?! 😂

dont worry you’re not alone!

to me back of a bike, might as well chuck them down a mountain, or go free diving with great whites. Hard pass. Fundamentally accidents do happen, not even cars but your husband could take a fall and there is no protection for the child. The child might like it, but my kids would also like to sit on my lap and drive my car, am I going to let them? No.

id also never rent a car seat and take my car seats on holiday.
Maybe I’m crazy? But I can live with it.

I have said no way will I allow it as it’s not safe.
There.
That's where you said it.
Allow? So you allow him to do things with his child?

lol - try coming to Cambridge

HRTFT but I cycle to work. Not in a million years would I let this happen. I’ve had so many near misses and could give you plenty of examples of people I know who have been hit including very sadly, one fatality.

🙄 gosh there’s always someone that has to unpick every detail of how you explain something. I didn’t say it in those exact words but it was along the lines of I’m extremely uncomfortable with this idea and if I could choose I wouldn’t have my child on the back of a bike. Really and truly, I do not remember exactly what I said to get the point across but my DH certainly got the jist.

I live in big busy city and see this alot .I hold my breath at times when you see how quickly an accident could happen especially at rush hours. Its not just cars either its other bikes, pedestrians, people opening car doors without looking etc. I ride a bike myself to work now and again but i wouldn’t put my kid on it. It’s different I suppose in quieter country areas with lots of bike paths but still.

Find it baffling that people will jump down your throat if you mention forward facing your kid in their car seat below the age of 4-6, yet so many are apparently totally fine with them going on a road on a bike with precisely zero protection.

😂 this is so true!