To veto DH taking baby out on push bike?!

[Amidying]

We have a 19 month old son. DH has got it in his head that at some point in the future, he is going to take DS out on his push bike with one of those seats that go on the back of a bike! Now he hasn’t specified what age DS would be but it would be pre-school age by the sound of it. I have said no way will I allow it as it’s not safe. This is not an essential mode of transport either, so I totally understand that for some people there is no choice but to travel this way with their child, but we have 2 cars! This would be to ride a short distance on the road to our local park or beach which is about 10 mins, but I still can’t get onboard with the idea.

I said to him: We have just spent £300 getting the safest car seat we could afford and you want to take him out on a push bike before he can even ride a bike himself?! He reckons I am being the overprotective mother and it will teach him road safety and help him learn how to ride a bike responsibly. I reckon he is insane and we are at a standoff.

His argument is that his dad did it with him when he was little and it’s one of his earliest happy memories, which is all lovely but we have come a long way safety wise since then. When I was a kid people used to smoke next to me, car seats weren’t a thing, my cousins and me used to pile into car with some of us in the footwells! So where does it end? We have to move with the times surely?! I would prefer to teach DS to ride when the time comes and when he reaches the right age he can do a road safety awareness course or something, I dunno. I hadn’t really thought about it because for me it’s way off into the future!

UABU= chill sista, let them ride
UANBU= its insane and unsafe

Perhaps a lot of my worry does come from the fact I’m not a confident cyclist and wouldn’t feel safe on a road myself. DH is a competent cyclist.

Maybe it's because the roads where we live are too busy but there's no way in hell I'd put my kids on one of those. People drive like dicks and those seats give me the heebie jeebies. But clearly I'm in the minority!

yabu. I took my DC out on one of those seats. what actually is your objection? What a bizarre post?

but car accidents happen too yet you are happy to drive your DC around in a car. makes zero sense

You and me both! 😂

I don't understand this argument. Being hit by a car while in a car and being hit by a car while on a bike are not the same?

I wonder if your DH may be able to find some quieter routes by bike than you usually drive? Might not be the shortest but less traffic. I would also want him to be practiced cycling on his own before trying the child seat.

A man zoomed past me going downhill on a pushbike with a toddler on his lap yesterday. I wondered if the child's mother knew her child was in that situation.

I wouldn't let mine go on the back of one. It makes me cringe when I go past them. Luckily my husband can barely ride a bike!

Calling my post bizarre is just… well bizarre 😂
If you read any of my updates you might get the jist of my ‘objection’.

I'm with you, OP. Somebody up the thread saying they're in London and see loads of people with kids in trailers etc. Yes, so do I (in London)... and I always think they're taking a hell of a risk. I have seen several genuinely horrendous accidents involving cyclists in London... and one of my work colleagues was killed. It is entirely different to being in a car... cyclists are so vulnerable sharing road space with drivers, some of whom are careless and/or reckless. Bit different if you're just taking them along cycle lanes etc.

By that logic you shouldn't even be out and about as a pedestrian. You wouldn't even wear a helmet when the car mows you down! it's cycling, not free climbing 🙄

Yes, car accidents happen all the time is exactly my point. Sometimes cars hit other cars, sometimes they hit cyclists. I know which position I’d prefer to be in.

Thank you!!!! I keep saying this but everyone keeps acting like I’m lying 😂

guess you are not taking walks then with DC either as, alas, a car could hit???

Again, not the same. I tend to walk on the path.

Loved taking my little ones out for jaunts in the bike. I live in suburbia and sometimes went on busier roads. It’s a lovely thing to do. So, I think you’re bu.

There is literally no other way to get there other than that road unfortunately. It’s a B road.

Push Bike are obviously unstable; they do not stand upright on their own. When you stop at a road junction for example, you have to put your foot down.
They only become stable by riding and moving.
Taking a child on the back - toddler maybe is OK, I have done it myself. However, as the child gets older, their weight can make the bike unstable, (as I discovered), so the younger they are, from a weight point of view, the better.
That said, I am (was) not a very good bike rider, and a busy suburban or city road, definitely No, but a smaller track, without cars, or only a few cars could be OK. I would hesitate, tho.
After I doscovered how the weight of my DC made the bike unstable and heavier, by leaning it over, etc, I did not take DC again.

@BirdsofPrey1
Pedestrians don't share the road with cars. Bikes do. Crucial distinction.

Exactly. I really don't understand why people are comparing. Taking your kids along the road in a bike trailer is broadly the equivalent of pushing them along the actual road in their pushchair. Which we all avoid as much as possible, using the pavement.

I am taking walks but my walks don’t involve me standing in the middle of a bendy B road trying to perform a right turn with my child in tow!

I think on quieter roads it’s fine

on busy roads (often see this on the south circular) is dangerous not only impatient vehicle drivers but pedestrians stepping out, others on bikes plus the pollution is awful

I'm really surprised there's not more support for you OP. No way would I have allowed this.

Where exactly is your husband proposing to go op?

When we used to go out we mainly stuck to cycle paths and quiet roads. You might be surprised at the cycle routes that are around if as you say it isn't really your thing.

I can understand feeling you're a bit vulnerable on a bike, but you're vulnerable as a pedestrian, in a small car.

I do think cycling is a positive thing, it's getting the child interested from a young age.