To veto DH taking baby out on push bike?!

[Amidying]

We have a 19 month old son. DH has got it in his head that at some point in the future, he is going to take DS out on his push bike with one of those seats that go on the back of a bike! Now he hasn’t specified what age DS would be but it would be pre-school age by the sound of it. I have said no way will I allow it as it’s not safe. This is not an essential mode of transport either, so I totally understand that for some people there is no choice but to travel this way with their child, but we have 2 cars! This would be to ride a short distance on the road to our local park or beach which is about 10 mins, but I still can’t get onboard with the idea.

I said to him: We have just spent £300 getting the safest car seat we could afford and you want to take him out on a push bike before he can even ride a bike himself?! He reckons I am being the overprotective mother and it will teach him road safety and help him learn how to ride a bike responsibly. I reckon he is insane and we are at a standoff.

His argument is that his dad did it with him when he was little and it’s one of his earliest happy memories, which is all lovely but we have come a long way safety wise since then. When I was a kid people used to smoke next to me, car seats weren’t a thing, my cousins and me used to pile into car with some of us in the footwells! So where does it end? We have to move with the times surely?! I would prefer to teach DS to ride when the time comes and when he reaches the right age he can do a road safety awareness course or something, I dunno. I hadn’t really thought about it because for me it’s way off into the future!

UABU= chill sista, let them ride
UANBU= its insane and unsafe

I'd argue it'd be safer for your son to be on the back of your DH's bike, rather than cycling his own. Kids on bikes have zero traffic awareness.

To clarify, you are vetoing one of these? If so that’s one of the most nuts things I’ve read on here!

I'm with you, OP. I think it's foolhardy.

I cycled to the beach with mine, around the area, to the shops, park, never went on busy roads. It was lovely. When baby 2 came along I really missed it.

That takes me back 💗

I think OP deserves credit for being willing to change her mind on this. Lots of people don’t.

Foolhardy? That's beyond ridiculous.

The child is nearly 2 - fresh air, exercise, risk awareness, fun, bonding with dad, teaching road skills early, there is nothing negative about this unless your DH was planning on cycling on the motorway.

Your DH could look into getting a cargo bike either which are fantastic for lugging around a young family.

OP your toddler is coming up to the age where you can get a balance bike that will fit him.

My DD started using a balance bike at 22 months. She then started riding a normal bike at aged 3. (She isn't the only person in my extended family who learnt to ride a bike at 3.)

So if you don't want your husband to take him out on his bike, then get a light weight balance bike. Make sure you can carry it with one hand as then it will be light enough for your toddler.

Glad I am not alone. I think I still have my city mentality. The road to get to the beach is residential but I wouldn’t say it’s really quiet. It’s by no means a busy street either but it’s the main way to get to the beach from our part of town. There is however a busy junction with traffic lights but once that is crossed it gets a lot quieter down to the beach.

I wouldn't be cycling on roads around here alongside my three year old I'd prefer them in a seat on my bike

Streets are residential but not really quiet as it’s the main route to the beach and there is a busy junction with traffic lights half way there. Once the traffic lights are crossed it does get quieter.

I biked everywhere with my kids, often one on the back and one on the front. There are dangers everywhere, and in my opinion the dangers of being anxious and vetoing outdoor fun are quite high.

Obviously YABU. He's not a baby. It's a short ride, and riding a bike is no less risky than riding in a car. And they are getting exercise, fresh air and not choking the planet. Surely he already rides a balance bike or scooter or trike? Mine had those for their 1st birthdays.

That's completely normal where I come from and that's how my parents did with me in the 80s. Wouldn't do it myself though.

Yes, that’s what he wants to get.

To clarify, am I being nuts to veto it or is the bike seat nuts? 🤣

You.

It looks like I’m going against the grain here but my vote is yanbu. I wanted to take mine out on a trailer on my bike but dh was really uncomfortable about it. It absolutely terrified him so I didn’t.

it’s not that he didn’t trust me, it’s that he didn’t trust every dickhead driver on the road.

Thanks very much. The reason I started this thread is because I’m aware that where I’ve come from and the family I’ve been brought up in is worlds away from doing outdoorsy stuff, so I want to know if I have to change my mindset and chill a bit.

Why do you get more say than he does?

Bike seats aren’t nuts. They’re a lovely part of childhood, IMO.

Don’t make being a “city girl” your excuse - we live in London and parents cycling with their children on rear mounted seats, trailers and cargo bikes is commonplace. Many people don’t have cars or it’s faster to cycle than get stuck in congestion. Not to mention avoiding adding to traffic pollution and staying fit.

Get a Weeride (you can get them on Amazon), front mounted cycle seat. My daughter had one on my husband's bike and we would regularly go out and about. My daughter absolutely loved it! She would also fall alseep on the padded front bit!

My other half takes our 20 month old on his every day! He absolutely loves it! My 5 year old still can’t ride a bike - you might be waiting a long time!

I'm amazed by this.

You say you have 2 cars so I assume that means you drive absolutely everywhere and your son is transported by car daily? Do you realise that in essence daily car travel is much more dangerous and more likely to have an accident than a short bike ride once or twice a week.

As I've often said you do get all sorts of madness on mumsnet.

Glad your having a re think took mine from a very early age on the back of my bike

good seat good helmet and just mindful of the route I took