To veto DH taking baby out on push bike?!

[Amidying]

We have a 19 month old son. DH has got it in his head that at some point in the future, he is going to take DS out on his push bike with one of those seats that go on the back of a bike! Now he hasn’t specified what age DS would be but it would be pre-school age by the sound of it. I have said no way will I allow it as it’s not safe. This is not an essential mode of transport either, so I totally understand that for some people there is no choice but to travel this way with their child, but we have 2 cars! This would be to ride a short distance on the road to our local park or beach which is about 10 mins, but I still can’t get onboard with the idea.

I said to him: We have just spent £300 getting the safest car seat we could afford and you want to take him out on a push bike before he can even ride a bike himself?! He reckons I am being the overprotective mother and it will teach him road safety and help him learn how to ride a bike responsibly. I reckon he is insane and we are at a standoff.

His argument is that his dad did it with him when he was little and it’s one of his earliest happy memories, which is all lovely but we have come a long way safety wise since then. When I was a kid people used to smoke next to me, car seats weren’t a thing, my cousins and me used to pile into car with some of us in the footwells! So where does it end? We have to move with the times surely?! I would prefer to teach DS to ride when the time comes and when he reaches the right age he can do a road safety awareness course or something, I dunno. I hadn’t really thought about it because for me it’s way off into the future!

UABU= chill sista, let them ride
UANBU= its insane and unsafe

There are no cycle paths. DH would have to use a small section of a B road to turn right and this is my main worry. There literally no other route. Well there is but it’s a busier one.

As lots of people have said. It is quite a normal, common thing to do.

That's why they sell child seats for bikes.

As a cyclist I don't make right turns like that unless there are no cars behind me and I can do so safely. I would suggest to your husband not to either - I just pull up to the pavement and cross when it's safe. Others may disagree - but for me, when I used to take my toddler out on the bike I tried to minimise the risks as much as possible.

If it makes you feel any better, I was expecting loads of replies saying "oh HELL no". I'm from London. It genuinely didn't enter my head that this is a thing outside the city

I'm surprised at the number of posters who think it is 'bizarre' that the OP is apprehensive about her child being a vulnerable road user - especially as there is a junction involved in the journey to the park (45% of cyclist deaths are at junctions).

I'm not saying that OP's DH shouldn't take her son out but I would want to be confident they know how to ride defensively and would also be prepared to change their planned journey if necessary.

As a horse rider the behaviour of some car drivers has honestly terrified me and I will always plan my routes / times according to when I think it is safest which can be quite limiting at times.

That’s actually a good idea I could suggest to him as a good compromise. I would be happier knowing he wasn’t doing that turn.

Interesting you say you would have less of a problem with a trailer. I had a trailer for DD but she hated it, much closer to the road, less control over it than you imagine, it bounces around like a bastard and it's a lot wider than the bike so you've got to be extra careful to not clip kerbs etc. I feel so much safer with the attached seat behind me. I can hear her shouting whee when we go faster and babbling about the wind / rain / car etc.

I take mine to nursery. She loves showing off her helmet to her friends, she's learned a lot about safety and traffic lights too. Motorists are definitely more considerate on the ride there with her on the back than the ride home, men definitely have a problem with a fat woman on a bike.

There is one quite busy road but luckily that's only 2/3 minutes of the ride, I wouldn't feel as confident on B roads.

Bike seats are lovely. Obviously you'd want to avoid busy and fast roads, but so long as your DH is a competent cyclist he'll be fine. We used ours a lot when DC was small.

To be honest now DC is five he's too big for the bike seat but too unreliable on his pedal bike, and I'll really miss going on family bike rides until he's a bit bigger. We can do the local park but I wouldn't allow a five year old to cycle on the road.

I wouldn’t have hesitated using a pedestrian crossing to do the right turn, slowly and letting pedestrians go first obviously, and did when my child was on the back or smaller with me. Of course you minimise risks as much as you can, and sure your DH will do that.

What? It makes loads of sense! If you have a slight prang in a car, you’ll be totally uninjured, the same can’t be said for if you are on a bike. I’ve noticed everyone castigating OP for being risk averse has recommended a well fitted helmet. Nobody needs these as either a pedestrian or a motorist.

Yabu I took my eldest out on the back of a bike when he was a toddler. Was great fun!

Everything has a risk - even driving to softplay or anywhere fun. A trip to the park. Football or any sport. According to your logic all that would be off limits too?

I broke my arm badly while playing on the sofa and I was 6 so I guess no fun on the sofa either?

Life is short, I'm with your dh.

I never got a proper pushchair with my eldest, I had a bike with a seat on the back and we used to ride everywhere, on all the main roads/busy roads, it is very safe, get a helmet for your child

Yes everything has a risk but some risks are greater than others and some risks can be mitigated against.

Mine has cycled to school since the beginning of reception. At the moment the 2yr old is in the pram because he’s so slow but I fully expect him to be cycling the school run with us at 3. If your DH is a keen cyclist I wouldn’t be surprised if yours are quick to pick it up too.

I took my son out a lot younger than yours.
First i had a back chair but the old vintage ones not a plastic one it folded down.
then when he got bigger i had a seat that went on my cross bar he loved it .

I also have some very fond memories of bike rides on the back of my mum's bike. She's a very confident competent cyclist and was a very anxious driver. We both had helmets and the bike was sturdy with good lights and she was a stickler for the rules of the road. This was in a large suburban commuter village. She avoided the road wherever it was allowed and as a result we whizzes about everywhere in no time. With the right equipment and depending on the area YABU. If you live in a busy city famed for cycle accidents maybe not.

No. Because as I've said in another post, roads road here are lethal

I could ride a bike before i could read a book.

Well they could, but walkers generally go on the pavement or check the road is clear before crossing. Cyclists are sharing the road with cars which is different.

Ok so you can’t say that it’s worse for cyclists then with any authority, having not experienced it? I’ve been cycling for twenty years in London and would say it’s safer. There’s more cyclists. LTNs, reduced speeds, more awareness. Yes you meet many, many poor drivers and phone distraction is a real problem, but with so much congestion, cars are often not going that fast and a competent cyclist can anticipate most of the rubbish behaviour and mitigate risks, Sure there’s roads and areas where it’s not safe and yours might be one of them but blanket statements like it’s getting worse for cyclists discourages cycling and the more cyclists there are the safer we are and the more infrastructure will be built.

I’ve never been in an accident involving a car on my bike, I know people who have but I also know people seriously injured in car accidents.

I miss those days with my backpack and my bike.
Id go miles.
I could never drive so got a bike never looked back.
My child had a bike was on mine until he got bigger.
We would wizz around the place in flash had helmets on pack lunch towel set of spare shorts in summer river swimming how he learned to swim.
Nothing beats a bike hes 21 now still has bike.
I have loads of photos of our days out.
Time flys.
His first bike trip was to the local park at 6 months old.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/jun/12/children-risk-air-pollution-cars-former-uk-chief-scientist-warns#:~:text=“Children%20sitting%20in%20the%20backseat,all%20the%20vehicles%20around%20you.”

you'll put them in a car though, without a second thought

I have a bike seat for my DS, who is about the same age as yours.

I think waiting and crossing with pedestrians at the junction is a good compromise unless the visibility is really good.

Tbh I haven't used the seat as much as I thought I would (although hoping for more use this spring/summer). I find the weight of DS over the back wheel to be quite unwieldy particularly when dismounted and pushing the bike. It's hard to maneuver it into a safe position to get DS out, or to bump it off the kerb to set off. I also really struggle to get the harness clip undone in the cold because it's very stiff (so it's reassuringly secure I guess). Those things mean we've only done a couple of solo rides since this time last year, plus a few more with my DH.

I suggest your DH practices first with something about the weight of your DS first, to see what it feels like to do the fiddly bits at the start and end of the ride where you have to jam the bike up against a bike parking stand, lean it against a wall, or straddle it facing the rear seat to get your kid off and on. Perhaps I'm just slightly too uncoordinated to manage it well, but that's the bit I find harder than the actual cycling, which DS and I both love.

I’d be the same… deffo not on the road but cycle paths etc fine

Over here (Germany) it's not unusual to have one kid on the back & one on the front!

I had a trailer for my two.